### Math For Cat Owners

What do you get when you perform the following calculation:

Do you get:

a) One ear-splitting, nerve-rattling KE-RASH!

b) One kajillion tiny shards of glass, melted wax bits and small decorative stones strewn across three rooms.

c) One severely pissed-off cat owner who was just preparing for bed.

d) One hour of crawling on hands and knees, picking said kajillion tiny shards of glass, wax bits and small decorative stones from carpet and dining room chair seats.

e) One protracted stream of curse words whilst picking out nigh-invisible, yet still painful, shards of glass from fingers and thumbs.

f) One thrilling session of vacuuming after midnight.

g) One freaked-out cat hiding for her life in the basement.

h) One grumpy blogger barely functioning on four hours sleep.

i) One shopping trip to re-purchase a large glass hurricane lamp.

j) All of the above.

And even if you don't have a cat, I'll wager you know the answer too.

#### 29 People would rather be commenting:

feefifoto said...

I bet the first thing you did when you got out of bed this morning was reach for the blog, right? I would (and have).

Daisy said...

Yes, the correct answer is all of the above. Definitely.

Irene said...

All of the above seems like the most logical answer and is it smart to get another hurricane lamp? Have you talked about it with the cat? Did he get it out of him system completely?

jay said...

It's 'J', isn't it? ROFL!

Been there, done that, only not with a cat. No fun, is it? At least you have a blog! ;)

Maureen said...

FeeFiFoto: Sadly, the first thing I did when I got out of bed was find three more shards of glass in the carpet... geez.

Daisy: Of all my readers, I KNEW you would know the answer... not that you are anywhere near as mischievious as Tawnee.

The Gossamer Woman: You are right. And yes, I will get another glass insert. That one lasted a few years with three cats in the house; I just may MOVE the darn thing to a safer spot is all.

Jay it IS J! Ha! Now isn't THAT a coincidence! Yes, you must have had similar experiences with large dog tails, no? ;)

AshPup said...

Awww, but she looks so cute and innocent! There's no way she did it... :o)
I know about those tiny glass shards though! First hour moving into the new place I (accidentally) christened it by shattering a bottle of wine all over the newly cleaned carpets- thank god it was white wine! And yet, still, those little bits of green glass glistening catch my eye every other night to this day.
What about one of those fake LED candles? You could house it in a plastic insert, it would look convincing, and there would be little potential for disaster... (though lacking in the yummy scented candle burn-ey smell)

ReformingGeek said...

Have you started speaking to the cat yet?

Anonymous said...

This is yet more proof that cats are smarter than humans. They have the fun of making the mess, humans have the drudgery of cleaning it up. (And I don't even like cats, but I do know this about them!)

Janet said...

Oh, noez!!!

Ed said...

You know, it's not really that bad without the glass.

JD at I Do Things said...

Thanks for making me feel so good at math! If only they'd had math problems like this in school, maybe I wouldn't have flunked.

Shawn said...

Oh, that cat would be enjoying the outdoors for a period no less than one day if it were mine. Not that I would own a cat. Or a fancy decorative candle. Or a door.

JoJo said...

Oops.

Bruce Johnson said...

Cats are placed on this earth to teach us things. This cats lessons.......you really don't need glass hurricane lamps......they are useless. Learn your lesson!

Maureen said...

Ashley: Oh Tawnee did it alright... I witnessed her fly across the room, land on the loveseat top, knocking her butt against it. When it flew into the dining room table and smash, I never saw a cat vanish sooooo fast.

Maureen said...

Reforming Geek: Oh she slinked upstairs to join me in bed a bit later... and after a snuggle all was well again.

Maureen said...

Pinklea: Oh how true! They have it made, alright. I tell them so every morning when I leave them warm in my bed as I trudge off to work.

Maureen said...

Janet: Oh Yezzzzz....you must be able to sympathize; with two felines of your own.

Maureen said...

Ed: I think you are right! I am toying with the idea of just getting a shallow dish to sit inside to fit a few stones (to keep the candle secure) and leave the top open. It may even burn better... Who knows, this may have been a GOOD thing after all! (well, except for the shards of glass in my fingers...)

Maureen said...

JD: You're very welcome. I do Cat Math So You Don't Have To ;)

Maureen said...

Shawn, you kill me... and it's probably a good thing you don't own a cat. Being that you have no doors and all...

Maureen said...

JoJo: Yeah. Well, at least it didn't happen seconds before a family gathering... geez, I am really grasping at straws here. But as Ed says, perhaps it was a good way to show me I don't really need a large glass container.

Maureen said...

Bruce: Doh! Of course! I should listen to the cats more often. How stoopid of moi.

Unknown said...

Gosh... Liza The Lab has done stuff like that when she was doing her puppy "orbiting". She's a quick learner though (house trained in 3 days) and won't even go near them now. The CRASH scared the crap out of her. (not literally) LOL!

Maureen said...

Darrin: Ah, yes. Dogs, especially large ones, have been known to knock over a knick-knack or two. Perhaps all pet owners just have to adjust to a Spartan lifestyle.

Swubird said...

Maureen:

YES!!!

Happy trails

Maureen said...

Swubird: :D Hah!

Jill said...

Oh that's too bad. :-( I don't do the midnight vacuuming thing though. I'm usually like, "I'll find out what's broken in the morning."

Cupcake Blonde said...

I'm going to go with j and add another option i.5) contemplating why you even bother to have the furry balls of terror in the first place.

Yeah, I should be doing laundry, yardwork, cleaning the house or planning meals. But frankly, I'D RATHER BE BLOGGING... about things like this.

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