Not Even Remotely Funny

The other day, hubby's most prized possesion finally gave up the ghost. I am amazed it lasted so long really. It had served it's master well but after near constant use, alas its time had come to go to that big electronics wasteland in the sky.

The remote control to the cable box had suddenly flatlined. Dead. No amount of resuscitation or new batteries would bring it back to life. The tradegy of its demise was felt by the whole family for we had to endure hubby's mourning as he tried valiantly to go on without it... for a whole long day, until he could get to the cable company to pick up a new one.

Poor fellow; this meant he was forced to watch shows in their entirety. No channel surfing at every commercial break. No scrolling up and down to find out what he might be missing. No double- or triple- watching capabilities. A sad sight to witness indeed.

My compassion to his suffering led me to finally offer to change channels for him (I must have been crazy or drunk at the time, now that I think of it). I got up off my chair and planted myself in front of the TV across the room.

"What channel next?" I ventured. "Keep it on Channel 19?"

"How about 65?" he suggested.

I thought he knew which show he wanted next, so I manually clicked on the TV selector buttons, pushing it 46 times until I reached Channel 65. Nope. Not the show he wanted.

"11?" he asked for next.

Down I went another 54 clicks. No, not that one either.

"Maybe it's 43" he said with a smirk creeping over is face.

I started to get suspicious. Not the right channel either. Well, surprise, surprise.

"I think it's on 19" he finally says.

"That's the channel we started on!" I realize, exasperated.

"I know" he chuckles evily.

Needless to say, he was relegated to changing the channels himself from then on. So like a kid from the 60's there he sat, inches from the TV, trying to find something to watch.

"Oh, he looks so cute!" daughter exclaimed as she came by to see her dad sitting cross-legged on the floor. "Well, at least at that distance, he can see the screen".

"Ha. Ha. I may be blind, but I'm not deaf" quipped the man-child. I have been nagging him about his failing eyesight and refusal to get glasses for years now.

All was right in the world once again when he got his precious new remote the next day.

Newfangled remote
Until he realized the design had changed and he couldn't figure out how to use it...

12 People would rather be commenting:

Anonymous said...

Funny! You made me remember what it was like "back in the day." There was a brief time when our RCA set, circa 1972, was on the fritz. Not only did you have to change the channels manually, but the knob was close to falling off, and we kids were instructed to let only Mom or Dad change the channels until it got fixed. In kid time, it was an eternity having to wait until they had time to do it for us. Thankfully, it got fixed soon and we could get back to sitting cross-legged on the floor flipping through all of twelve channels (2-13).

Anonymous said...

Oh, and clever post title. I just "got" it. Hey, it's early and I haven't finished my coffee yet.

Cupcake Blonde said...

Ha! It is funny how we get used to convienance. I remember when you had to get up to change the channel all the time. Remotes are great as long as you can find them. We are always losing them because we walk off with them in our hand and leave them in the fridge or the pantry or on the back of the toilet.

Unknown said...

He had to wait a WHOLE DAY with no remote? HOW DID HE DO IT?? I'm getting all weird just thinking about it.

toners said...

LOL!! Another example of boys and their toys!

Nell said...

Maybe I should break our remote "by accident."

NH Yocal said...

Too funny. If our remote died, my hubby would move on to another TV in the house and if that died too, I'd find him at my next door neighbor's house! Even if he could sit in front of TV to change the channels....he wouldn't. He is just that darned lazy.

But I must say, you were a super duper wife for helping should remind him of your services, wink, wink and maybe he can return the favor with sparkly things.

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

I'm one of a lucky few. When my dear heart is done watching tv and is going to do something else, he actually HANDS me the remote.

But when it is in his hands, he skips over many a program that I'd find perfectly reasonable to watch.

Jill said...

Poor guy! This post reminds me of "inventing" remote controls before there were remote controls - basically long dowels we could use to jab at the buttons on the tv. :-)

Maureen said...

Ha! Yeah, we sure get spoiled fast, don't we? I remember the "no remote control" era, the "corded remote control" era and the "I'll die if I don't have my remote control" era of today.

Ah well, at least I had ONE day to enjoy shows in their entirety.

Oh, and VP, I don't even want to KNOW what your remote was doing on the back of the toilet....

Canadian flake said...

omgggggggg I am laughing sooooo hard here I am choking...thanks for the giggles...this was

The Egel Nest said...

Hysterical post...

I LOVE my remotes...I feel your man-child's pain!

The Egel Nest

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