Inflected Form(s): plural id·i·o·cies
Date: circa 1529
: something notably stupid or foolish
Especially when practiced in public.
In front of your teenager.
Who will never let you forget it.
The latest display of my superior lack of intelligence? Well, let's rewind back to last winter when I was in dire need of a winter coat. Since my current frock no longer had a functioning zipper (which is preferable when it is - 40C) I HAD to purchase a new one. But I hate clothes shopping for the most part, so I usually go for ANYTHING with the lowest price tag.
After an exhaustive search (okay two shops), low and behold to my wallet's extreme pleasure, I found a full-length, down-filled coat (with hood!) for a measley $ 37.50. Yup, originally priced at $ 150, it had been marked down 50% and then that day all coats were another 50% off.
But it wasn't perfect.
It was...... WHITE.
So even though it made me look like the Michelin Man, I couldn't pass it up. It felt like I was wearing a down sleeping bag.
Now, I usually stay away from real down as it has to be dry cleaned. Even though the garment quickly showed EVERY smidgen of dirt, I put off taking to the dry cleaners because:
1) If you haven't noticed by now, I AM a cheapskate
2) Every time I realized it needed cleaning, it was because I needed to wear it in arctic-like weather... so I couldn't do without it.
Finally yesterday, I could no longer stand the disgusted stares of strangers who must have assumed I crawled out of the gutter. With my teenage daughter in tow, I broke down and found a Perth's near home. I hauled the flithy garment onto the counter, aologizing for the spectacle.
As if to punish me for my obvious Reprehensible Garment Neglect, the clerk informed me it would be "at least a week to get it back".
A week? It was friggin' cold outside, and I had only my zipperless coat to wear. Geez. Well, I guess I had no choice.
"And it will be $ 25" she cheerily added.
$ 25 !!!!! That's nearly as much as what it cost!
Oh, and then the best part... it didn't need to be dry cleaned after all. It needed "Professional Wet Cleaning".
Stupid me ... I didn't even check the care tag, which the clerk proudly pointed out and explained slowly and in small words for my obvious low mental capacity.
Yup. All along, I could have simply popped the damn thing into our large capacity washer and dryer and avoided all the embarrassment.
So I sheepishly pulled the coat back into my arms and took it home to wash.
Gad, I hate looking stupid AND cheap in front of my teenage daughter...
But I think, sadly, she is used to it by now.
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