Public Displays of Idiocy

id·i·o·cy
Pronunciation:
\ˈi-dē-ə-sē\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural id·i·o·cies
Date: circa 1529
: something notably stupid or foolish

Especially when practiced in public.

In front of your teenager.

Who will never let you forget it.

The latest display of my superior lack of intelligence? Well, let's rewind back to last winter when I was in dire need of a winter coat. Since my current frock no longer had a functioning zipper (which is preferable when it is - 40C) I HAD to purchase a new one. But I hate clothes shopping for the most part, so I usually go for ANYTHING with the lowest price tag.

Michelin Man

After an exhaustive search (okay two shops), low and behold to my wallet's extreme pleasure, I found a full-length, down-filled coat (with hood!) for a measley $ 37.50. Yup, originally priced at $ 150, it had been marked down 50% and then that day all coats were another 50% off.

But it wasn't perfect.

It was...... WHITE.

So even though it made me look like the Michelin Man, I couldn't pass it up. It felt like I was wearing a down sleeping bag.



Now, I usually stay away from real down as it has to be dry cleaned. Even though the garment quickly showed EVERY smidgen of dirt, I put off taking to the dry cleaners because:

1) If you haven't noticed by now, I AM a cheapskate

2) Every time I realized it needed cleaning, it was because I needed to wear it in arctic-like weather... so I couldn't do without it.

Finally yesterday, I could no longer stand the disgusted stares of strangers who must have assumed I crawled out of the gutter. With my teenage daughter in tow, I broke down and found a Perth's near home. I hauled the flithy garment onto the counter, aologizing for the spectacle.

As if to punish me for my obvious Reprehensible Garment Neglect, the clerk informed me it would be "at least a week to get it back".

A week? It was friggin' cold outside, and I had only my zipperless coat to wear. Geez. Well, I guess I had no choice.

"And it will be $ 25" she cheerily added.

$ 25 !!!!! That's nearly as much as what it cost!

Care Tag
Oh, and then the best part... it didn't need to be dry cleaned after all. It needed "Professional Wet Cleaning".

Um, what?

Stupid me ... I didn't even check the care tag, which the clerk proudly pointed out and explained slowly and in small words for my obvious low mental capacity.

White Coat


Yup. All along, I could have simply popped the damn thing into our large capacity washer and dryer and avoided all the embarrassment.

So I sheepishly pulled the coat back into my arms and took it home to wash.

Gad, I hate looking stupid AND cheap in front of my teenage daughter...

But I think, sadly, she is used to it by now.





26 People would rather be commenting:

Jill said...

At least you didn't have to get the coat dry cleaned!!!!!!! :-) I HATE shopping too!

LunaNik said...

I haven't reached that point in mommyhood yet when I'll look like an idiot in front of my teen...thankfully my girls are still toddler. BUT, I'm sure I'll have many, many, MANY idiotic moments of my own to blog about.

Sweet Irene said...

Well, yes, we've all had those moments when our teenagers can smirk at us and feel superior. Never mind, at least you now can wash your coat and always look nice and clean. It was nice of the shop lady to point that out to you. I thought you were going to tell us that it turned out that you were allergic to the down feathers. Luckily, you aren't and that is a great deal you got on that coat.

Jeff said...

Too funny. I once wore the same shirt as my son. I've never seen him so horrified.

Mamma said...

Don't all teenagers think their parents are idiots? I guess we don't have to give them any fodder though.

Cute coat. And what a bargain!!

DJ Kirkby said...

Bit of a nightmare getting the coat dry though? It takes forever to dry our down pillows and duvet! I am having a party on my blog today, come on over and bring a few friends, everyone is welcome.

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

cheap and practical are different!!

;o)

and i like the white coat! LOL

;o)

amy xoxoxoxox

toners said...

What a fun post!! And thank you for your well wishes :) They mean a lot!

Maureen said...

Jill: This is true...

Lunanik: Ah, just wait! You will, yes you will...

Sweet Irene: Yes, I will now wash it when it needs it, fully knowing I can have it ready for the next day. It was a great deal, even though I KNEW it would show dirt badly... ah well.

Jeff: Har! Yeah, I am sure he thought you did it on purpose JUST to embarrass him! So has he thrown out his shirt yet?

Mama: You got it. Daughter used to look up to me; now she just shakes her head, resigned to the fact that I am an old lady with no fashion sense.

DJ: Actually, it dried perfectly in our dryer... no trouble at all! And I joined your party; thanks for the invite!

A-licious: That's what I keep trying to tell my daughter!!! In sub-zero weather, practical wins every time (at least when you're not a teen).

Toners: Nice to see you back. Hope everything went okay.

manda said...

that is definitely something that would happen to me! haha!

Ashley said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog :) You know, I think it was a blessing in disguise (about your jacket)...at least now you don't have to pay almost what you paid for the jacket EVERY time it gets dirty, right? And, since it gets dirty ALOT (or just shows it), that means lots of washing!

Cute blog by the way!

Jenn said...

My daughter is only 5, so she is currently in the stage where she mortifies me on a daily basis:

--Why doesn't that man have hair?
--Is that a man or a woman?
--Are those hairs in your nose?

you get the picture!

I'm looking forward to payback!!

Karen MEG said...

Very funny! Hey, I had a michelin man coat, but it was mustard coloured. I like white much better.

Canadian flake said...

I hate shopping too...but look on the bright side...at least you won't look like a bag lady anymore..roflmao.

Phoenix5 said...

When all else fails, READ THE LABEL!!! LOL! I'm always telling Mrs. Phoenix to read the labels on things! Then I go and forget to once when it was really important. Oh yeah, I looked really dumb too!

Thanks for dropping by my blog! Always great to meet another Winnipegonian! We're getting Winnipeg-like weather here in Southern Ontario this week... I am SO not used to it!

jp said...

Isn't it a parent's job to mortify the teenager?? :-) Love the story. Sounds completely like something I would do. (Oh, I HATE shopping, too.) Janet

Dorky Dad said...

Better humiliate yourself than spend twenty five bucks. I hate giving money to dry cleaners.

The Egel Nest said...

Stupid and cheap is SO much better than smart and rich...or something like that...

I LOVE that you give your temps in C and not F...that is funny...


Bradley
The Egel Nest

Christine said...

am laughing so hard at the image of your coat and the image of the michelen man. very very funny

thx for your great comment on CFT. will definitely check back on your blog soon. fun stuff!

Aimeslee said...

Hi Maureen, the Michelin Man was perfect, LOL. My 19-yo DD has seen me in so many stoopid moments, too, but the saving grace is that she hasn't snapped any quicker...I've therefore avoided any shaming. Luckily. Knock wood.

lotus07 said...

Worst of all, you looked awful wearing it for all that time, only because you didn't read the label. That really sucks.

pootandcubby said...

You are brave to even consider white. I would have spilled something of the tomato variety on it the first day of wear. I have a white clothing curse.

-andi

Judith Shakespeare said...

LOL. Have I found my kindred spirit? Definitely sounds like something that I would do... :)

VE said...

Can't you just keep spray painting it white? A gallon of paint isn't that much...

Maureen said...

Manda: Yeah, I seem to get myself into these situations way too many times.

Ashley: Thank you! I can't imagine spending that much every time the damn thing needed cleaning (which would be A LOT!)

Jenn: Har! Yeah, I remember those days!!! Yay for payback!

Karen Meg: Mustard color... hmmm, kinda the color it turns if I don't clean it. White is a bugger to keep clean.

CF: This is true, so true…

Phoenix5: Yeah, I KNOW! I KNOW! It does sound like something I would nag hubby about too… doh! Oh, our weather has been typical Winnipeg weather this week, tonight it’s dipping to – 45.

JP: Yes, I guess it IS our job… and I do it well. We are so alike aren’t we? (I feel so sorry for you…) ;)

Dorky Dad: This is true. I think Dry Cleaners are the biggest rip off since One-Hour Martinizing (which I haven’t seen in years come to think of it…)

Bradley: I have to agree with you…and even though our Celcius temps may be confusing, the most important thing to remember is, at – 40, it is the same in C or F. Scarey.

Christine: Yeah, when I get zipped up and the hood up against the wind, I have to admit I do bear a striking resemblance to that guy. And I’ll be back to visit you too!

Aimeslee: Just wait.. just wait… ;)

Lotus07: This is so true, and makes the entire thing even more disturbing. Now that it’s washed, I can blind everyone with it’s brightness…

Pootandcubby: Not brave, just cheap… there was a reason it was marked down and no one else bought it… So far, I have avoided any stains of the tomato variety (knock on wood).

Judith: Thanks. And my sincere condolences on the affliction of being like me… hopefully one day a cure will be found. But probably not.

VE: Or shoe polish… yeah, THAT might work! ;)

Caffeine Court said...

I love it! My coat is chocolate brown to hide all the diet coke and coffee I dribble on it everyday!

The header on your blog is the BEST!

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