Well, At Least My Card Had A Christmas Vacation

Errant Envelope
A curious envelope appeared in our mailbox this past Tuesday. The handwriting was large and clear, but unfamiliar to me. (NOTE: I purposely blurred part of the address for this story). Interestingly, it was postmarked December 7, 2007.

Upon opening it, I soon discovered that it was in fact a Christmas card from my nephew and his wife in London.

ENGLAND. THE UNITED KINGDOM.

Um. Okay. Then why the heck did it have "Missent to Bermuda" stamped on it?

Bermuda? Canada?

Well, they both DO end in "da"...


Royal MailI can just imagine the scene: the tiny, ancient Royal Mail© Post Office depot in Muswell Hill, North London. Inside, two senior mailsorters slowly sift through the immense Christmas workload scattered all around them:



"Blimey, Jasper.... will ya look at this..."

"Wot, Alfie?"

"This 'ere letter. Where the 'eck is "Canada" anyways?"

"I 'aven't the foggiest... but it rhymes with Bermuda. Close enough, innit?"

"Brilliant! Off you go, then." Alfie dumps the envelope into the bag headed south.

"Jolly good" Jasper adds, kicking a parcel clearly labelled FRAGILE out of his path as they depart for afternoon tea. *



I guess it could have been worse. It could have reached us sometime over the next few months after circuitous travels to Barbuda, Grenada, Rwanda and Uganda.

(And yes, I DID look those up as a matter of fact. Do you really think I knew that list by heart?)

My next question is, are there so many things mistakenly sent to Bermuda that they actually need a RUBBER STAMP to deal with them all?

So it took 66 days for it to reach us.




Perhaps next winter I can mail myself by Royal Mail and have a great vaca on the beaches of Bermuda for only 78 p.









*With apologies to my UK friends. Actually, I am making fun of Postal Workers, not the British. No apologies to my Postal Worker friends are necessary, because you guys would NEVER be able to figure out where I live to inflict any physical retribution anyway.


41 People would rather be commenting:

Sweet Irene said...

I am not familiar with the Royal Mail, but nothing surprises me as I think you do not need a great intellect to work for the postal services. I am probably insulting all sorts of people now, but really, how hard is it to read an address correctly? Our neighbors get our mail, even though we have a very unusual last name and it can't easily be mistaken for another one. I don't think people take pride in getting it right anymore.

creative-type dad said...

Ah, that's not so bad. My neighbors just brought over some mail a few days ago that the mailman gave them on accident from October.

Huckdoll said...

Haha, that was so funny. Come on though, Bermuda and Canada both have three syllables and end in A...tricky stuff. Glad you finally got the letter! You see, snail mail is sometimes not so much better than email.

Jill said...

Glad you got it eventually! Can we get all our bills to make a pit stop in Bermuda too???????? Actually in general I think it's AMAZING that the mail works even as well as it does. I mean I can send stuff clear across the country for less than fifty cents...it's sort of unbelievable if you think about it.

Creative-type-dad - I'm really impressed they could keep track of your mail that long! I can't even keep track of my own mail...then again, they probably just FOUND it from October. :-0 :-0 :-0

Heather said...

LOL! Thank you for starting my morning off with a good laugh. :)

jp said...

I want that stamp. :-)

Maureen said...

Sweet Irene: Royal Mail, Canada Post, USPS... they all have their share of woes, it seems. You're right about pride; the level of caring is about zero in a lot of the world, sad to say.

CT Dad: Your neighbors JUST brought you mail from October??? Are they Postal Workers too? ;)

Huckdoll: You're right. Three syllables, end in "a" (like most countries...) I shouldn't complain I guess.

Jill: Yeah, how come it's always the mail YOU WANT that gets lost? My bills always seem to know where I live... :(

Heather: Thanks! Hope my fake English accent didn't hurt your eyes / ears too much.

JP: Do you collect stamps? Email me. I'll send you A BUNCH!

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

Thanks for the chuckle!! Sometimes I muse about working for the postal service - it's like being a weatherperson - apparently you don't have to be right all the time at your job!

Maureen said...

CGG: Oh no! I didn't realize you worked for the postal service... my condolences (totally joking, here). I am sure you are the rare employee who IS good at her job there. Really. And you have a great sense of humor too (which I hear is an asset when you get all kinds of ribbing like this post).

Anonymous said...

We went to Folk-A-Rama in Winnipeg again this year. Nice city, nice people---Jeff,s dad-Bill

Maureen said...

Bill: Aw, thank you! Yes, Folklarama is a big event here. One year hubby and I went to every pavillion... which was very difficult but fun to do! (For other's info: "Folklarama" is largest multicultural festival in the world. For 2 weeks each August, 45 pavillions showcase food, song and dance of various ethnic communities).

toners said...

Ah, yup. That's the Royal Mail for ya in all its British glory :)

And your accent was spot-on!!

Worker Mommy said...

Right they both end in "da" I can understand the confusion ! ;)

lotus07 said...

There has to be some position with the post office, where a guy sits in a lonely back room and tries to figure out the what has happened to wayward mail that comes across his desk. I can just imagine his expression at times..."Oh, Shit....we screwed this one up!".

Jeff said...

Ha! Very funny! Good point about the rubber stamp. LOL!

LunaNik said...

I read and reread the British postal workers dialogue and laughed harder and harder each and every time. Cute post!!!

Amy said...

That is so funny! I found you through Week end Blog Hoppers.
cheers!

Tara R. said...

I live in FloriDA, it's nice at Christmas time. You should add that to your vacation list too. =) This post was too funny.

Etcetera

Diesel said...

It's great that they have a "Missent to Bermuda" stamp. I suppose it has something to do with the triangle.

Maureen said...

Toners: Coming from you, that’s a relief! Thanks!

Worker Mommy: Yeah, that must be it!

Lotus07: Can you imagine that job? I think I read that last quarter (3 months) Royal Mail knew of over 24,000 mis-directed pieces of mail. That would need to be one hell of a huge back room!

Jeff: Yeah, it’s sad, really. ;)

Lunanik: Thanks! I think I’d like to write more about Jasper and Alfie…

Amy: Thanks for hopping by! I too am hopping this weekend…. I’ll be sure to hop on by yours too!

Tara R: Har! I forgot about FloriDA! Yes, I could definitely be rerouted there!

Diesel: The Triangle! The mystery is solved. Perhaps all those missing planes will one day be found with “Missent to Bermuda” stamped on them too...

Christine said...

hysterical. everytime I drop by I get such a laugh. your posts are totally unique!

bloghoppin...cheers!

Sarabeth said...

Lovely scene you concocted.

Blog hopping--HP

OHmommy said...

One day... on our way to Guatemala MY luggage was sent to Guadalajara , Mexico. Close. But not close enough.

Amy said...

Too funny! I have an ongoing hate affair with my post office and mail carrier so this was a much needed laugh on that subject. And I'm thinking they are so incompetent, they just might mail ME to Bermuda, I might give it a try!

The Bombed Mom
blog hoppin'

Allison said...

Psst...did the same screw up on someone else's blog. And it was a guy....A Man Among Mommies...

"I'm your first of the night"...

How corny...

I hope he edited it out...

You were one of the ones posting (or he was accepting, I guess) when I was making that comment :-S

Karen MEG said...

You crack me up! Lucky Christmas card... 66 day cruise through the Caribbean. Sweet life.

Blog hopping (thx for stopping by!)....Pomtini

cablegirl said...

lol. Too funny. When I was living in Ireland my brother in Tokyo used to send me packages. They would take months to et to me. It's not just the Royal Mail. lol

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

Don't worry Maureen - I don't work for them, sometimes I daydream about it!!

DJ Kirkby said...

Hahahahhaahaaaa! I am showing this post to Chopper 'cos he is a postman! Perhaps he can explain...

Big Dan said...

Not that I'm accusing you of being overweight, but I suspect the postage would be more than 78p.

perhaps 79p?

Maureen said...

Christine: Aw, thanks… I think. Is “unique” good? ;)

Sarabeth: Thanks for hopping by!

Ohmommy: Har! That’s a good one! Yeah, close, but no cigar.

Amy: Thanks… glad I could add some levity to your postal situation!

Allison: heh, heh… yeah, I got too cocky there…

Karen Meg: Gosh, thanks. Yeah, that WOULD be a nice cruise, wouldn’t it? Thanks for hopping over too!

Cablegirl: I’m afraid you’re right. Canada Post is horrible too…

Curly Glamour Girlie: Ah, whew! Good to hear!

DJ: Yikes! Hopefully Chopper will have a sense of humor…

Big Dan: Probably more like 80p…. (ah, sure, Maureen….)

Vegas Princess said...

Wow...I got two cards from England before Christmas with no problem. But then again I don't live in Canada. However a card I sent from Nevada to Texas never arrived. Go figure.

Melinda Zook said...

Hilarious! I think I will try that too; I really need a vacation. What sounds like Hawaii?

Phoenix5 said...

Great post, my friend! I chuckled all the way through your dialog! I could almost hear the two posties talking! Canada Post sure leaves a lot to be desired, doesn't it? I get mail from across the country faster than I get it from across town... And I've had more than one cheque go missing from my mail too...

Love your photo of yourself with the stamp... what a fabulous idea!

wornoutwoman said...

That is too funny. I would be living vicariously through the envelope too!
Bloghoppin' back at ya!

Maureen said...

VP: Well, I guess Vegas IS more well known than Canada… ;)

Melinda: Hawaii… hmmmm I can’t think of ANYTHING !

Phoenix5: Aw, thanks. Yes, as a fellow Canuck, you know well Canada Posts’ reputation. I quit trying to figure them out a long time ago.

Wornoutwoman: Thanks! (love the handle, BTW!)

Canadian flake said...

roflmao...I was thinking the same thing as you as I was reading...wanna send ME to Bermuda by mistake??? PLEASEEEEEEEE??

Can ya really blame that card for wanting to go somewhere nice and warm?? LMAO

Aimeslee said...

Oh, ROFL, great story-telling here. Doesn't surprise me though. I once mailed an ATC to my friend Cammy Plummer in Canada. I'm in Texas. She got it almost a year later. It was then I realized she must have thought I was a huge liar for all that time! At least they didn't just File 13 it...

VE said...

Well I don't see the problem. I ALWAYS wear my Bermudas when I'm in Canada...

Maureen said...

CF: No, I can't blame anyone or anything for preferring the sunny beaches of Bermuda to the cold snowbanks of Canada!

Aimeslee: A year?? Wow... that's criminal.

VE: And it looks like you're wearing them in your profile pic too... ;) And you must only visit in summer...

yogh said...

I'm afraid it must not be the -da ending. I just got a letter mailed from Colorado to New Zealand that was stamped with MISSENT TO BERMUDA. Maybe the suburb I live in, Bryndwr, looks like Bermuda? That or it's some giant postal conspiracy and Bermuda is just a code! Did commandos raid your house a week after your received the Christmas Card? Should I be boarding up my windows?

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Yeah, I should be doing laundry, yardwork, cleaning the house or planning meals. But frankly, I'D RATHER BE BLOGGING... about things like this.

Wanna know more?
Click the "About Me" tab above.

Wanna read more?
Click below for the Archives.


Subscribers

Subscribe in a Reader

Subscribe in a reader

Or enter your email address:


MY ART BLOG:



Alltop