Twist And Shout

Ye-ouch!

The sudden stab was like a hot blade plunging deep into my lower back... so intense, I couldn't stand up straight or bear any weight on my right leg at all. Unable to move, I was hunched over Old Granny-style, one hand on my aching back and the other grasping the frame of my waterbed.

Stuck there doing a grand "Scowling Flamingo" (that IS a Yoga position, isn't it?), I pondered what to do.

Hmmm... Okay. It's the middle of the night. Everyone else in the house is fast asleep.

Dammit!


Only the dog and three cats were witness to my predicament; four pairs of eyes staring up at me in the semi-darkness with heads tilted in what I swear were expressions of amusement.

Well, you're no help. I grumble at them.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I simply leaned over and fell into bed.

And wondered if I would even be able to get out again in the morning, as images of being indignantly hauled away on a wooden plank swam in my head. Eventually I drifted off to a fitfull sleep, flat on my back and wincing in pain each time hubby thrashed around in his slumber.

Thankfully when dawn arrived I was able to carefully roll out of bed and slowly walk again, albeit at an angle and still in agony.

So what caused this tortuous injury you ask?

(Um. You DID ask, didn't you?)

A horrific fall down the stairs?

A devastating slip on the ice?

In a heroic attempt to save another person's life?

Heck no.

I was taking off my socks.

Improper Sock Removal Technique
Yep. I was pulling off my sock ... obviously THE WRONG WAY. I didn't know there was a RIGHT WAY, but nevertheless, my back quickly informed me I was woefully ignorant of The Proper Technique Of Safe Sock Removal.

But when people ask why I am stiffly lumbering around Frankenstein-style, I am going to regale them with a dramatic tale.

Of how I selflessly dove to save a blind orphaned puppy from the path of that out-of-control speeding SUV...

... or a cause a little less idiotic than simply getting undressed.

36 People would rather be commenting:

The Egel Nest said...

LOL

I wondered where you were going with that one...

Very cute story...no more sock taking off action nooky...lol


Bradley
The Egel Nest

creative-type dad said...

Oh gee...

I hurt myself once by just scratching my butt.

Don't you just love getting older...!

Aimeslee said...

Hey, hope your back heals up quick; it, unlike your story, is no fun (I have degenerative disk disease and live with back pain of some sort 24/7).

Christine said...

You'll have to get one of those pincers-on-a-stick thing. Or train the cats to remove your socks.

Catnip on your toes should do the trick.

Kathy said...

I threw out my back doing a simple move as part of an aerobics routine. Was laid up for a week and saw a chiropractor for 6 months. See? Exercise and pulling off your socks are bad for you.

LunaNik said...

LOL...

I once twisted my neck so bad that I couldn't move it for 2 weeks and had to go to therapy...

you know how that happened???

I SNEEZED!!

Ahhhh, the beauty of aging, eh?

Angie said...

My back does not go out, but I suffer from chronic shoulder/neck pain - from - the computer mouse. I sit criss cross applesauce (can you tell I have a preschooler?) at the computer causing me to slump forward and have bad form. I once had an aunt tell me as I laughed at her groaning when she reached down to pick a toy off the floor, "YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE IN YOUR 30'S." Damn her accuracy!
KEEP BELIEVING

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

ooh gosh that was so hilarious...yet oh so familiar!

what is up with all of us women doing stuff to our backs lately...in less than heroic ventures? taking off socks, sleeping, bending over to pick up a toy...?

what the heck??

;o)

hope u are feeling better!

a-licious xoxox

LadyBanana said...

Wow, it's amazing how such a little thing can cause so much pain.

Something similar happened to me to the extent I had to take a couple of days off work - I almost felt ppl didn't believe me!

toners said...

Who knew there was a right way to take off socks? When you learn the right technique be sure and share with us! :)

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

See, now you can just make it sound juicy when people ask you, you can respond:

I was stripping!

lotus07 said...

Getting old sucks doesn't it? You can imagine what I did to my wrist three weeks ago using a chain saw......it is still stiff and sore.

Phoenix5 said...

I love the way you write! (I know, I've said that before, but each post reminds me why!) Sorry to hear about your back! As some have said before me, getting old SUCKS! I have enough aches and pains for someone TWICE my age! I won't bore you with the litany, though.

Hope you're feeling limber and spry real soon!

Sweet Irene said...

LOL, double LOL, that's so funny and I am sorry about your pain, but it is very funny. You really had me worried there for a while. I thought someone under the bed had stabbed you with a knife. Well, I do have an overanxious imagination...

Huckdoll said...

Bahaha! Thank you for the laugh before bed! I remember my Dad bending down (wrong) to get his socks from the laundry basket and was stuck in that position for three days!

Canadian flake said...

awwwwwwwwwwww I am so very sorry you hurt yourself. When I first started reading this I thought maybe you had psyatica (sorry spell check)...

Hope you feel better soon...maybe you need to get someone to take off your socks for you for awhile?? LOL.

Rachel said...

Yowza!!!
Bad sock, Bad, Bad sock!!
So sorry for your yuckiness!!
Therma Care heat wraps are heaven sent!!

Hope you're better soon!!

Kimmylyn said...

OUCH.. I hope you feel better soon, but the way you told the story was classic..LOL

DJ Kirkby said...

Try to look on the 'bright' side...at least it didn't happen on the toilet?

Maureen said...

Bradley: Haha! No, as I said, hubby was SLEEPING at the time ;)

Creative-type dad: Okay, scratching butt is indeed worse… you win.

Aimeslee: Well, three days later and it’s still sore. Good thing I have a long weekend to relax. Sorry to hear of your pain; that sucks.

Christine: Har! Now THAT’s a great idea!!!!

Kathy: And that is why I avoid exercise at all costs (kinda solves the mystery of my being so out of shape, eh?)

Lunanik: Sneezed??? Oh my, that must have been some honker…

Angie: Heh. Sorry to hear of your chronic pain. I have had years of neck problems after a car accident, but never the lower back.

A-licious: Thanks. So far it’s still tender; I guess it’ll take a few more days.

Lady Banana: So true... until you experience it first hand, you don’t realize how painful it is.

Toners: I know! Well, Perhaps I should just stick to slippers from now on.

CGG: Hah! Stripping! As If!

Lotus07: Yes, it does suck. Big time. Sorry to hear about your wrist… which, when you put it in the same sentence as “chain saw” gives me the willies…

Phoenix5: Aw, thanks; you make me blush!

Sweet Irene: Yeah, it was funny, actually… Someone under the bed? I never even thought about that… yikes!

Huckdoll: Oh no! Well, at least I could move in the morning… I can’t imagine not being able to straighten out for days!!!!

Canadian Flake: Yes, I’ll have to get me a nurse to dress me soon, it looks like… ;)

Rachel: It’s funny you should mention the Therma Cares. We bought our first ones just a few days ago for my daughter’s wry neck. She said it worked great; they get really hot!!! Thanks so much.

Kimmylyn: :D thanks. I AM a classic, alright.

DJ: This is true, this is true… yikes, not being able to get off the toilet. Now THAT would be embarrassing!

Momo Fali said...

Too funny! My BFF just threw her back out a few days ago when she was drying her hair. Nice.

Amy said...

I'm always tweaking my back doing ordinary things. But then when I do something like lifting a filing cabinent, nothing! The body is a strange, strange thing!

blog hoppin
the bombed mom

geekymom said...

OH no ! I hope you are starting to feel better.

Karen MEG said...

Isn't that a new Olympic sport?

Aging is chock full o' fun isn't it LOL!

Blog hoppin' hi!

Tara R. said...

It's always the simplest things that cause the most trouble... hope you feel better soon.

blog hopping - etcetera

Emma Sometimes said...

Scowling Flamingo? haha, is that like The Downward Log Posture?

blog hoppin'
Mox on The Rocks

Mommy Bits said...

lol. You never know what will trigger some body pain. Earlier this week I turned in my chair at work and a shooting pain shot down my neck. It hurt the rest of the day and into the next.

No idea why it happened....

Happy Blog Hopping,
Anastasia Beaverhousin

Vegas Princess said...

I have so done this myself which is why I now "walk" out of my socks. I pull my foot out of my sock by rubbing it on the floor. Kinda hard to explain unless you see it. :) Sorry you hurt your back and I hope you feel better soon!

Okay I ahve had a question for the last couple posts about some of the commenters you have. They all sign their comments with "blog hoppin'" What the heck is that?

Zoe's Dad said...

That is funny! My back went out just the other day when I was changing a diaper. (Not mine)

I did look pretty funn sprawled out on the bathroom floor with two litte legs sticking out from under my chest and my daughter yelling at me---Dad, stop!

Amy said...

LOL.

So my sock story. My baby was due on June 30th. At 5 am on July 4th she was still in my belly and I was not happy. I decided to go for a walk by myself (Even as a deranged overdue mommy I had enough sense to not wake my husband for a 5 am walk.) Fully dressed I attempted to put on my sock and my water broke.
Yep, socks. They do all kinds of crazy things.

Ann(ie) said...

I did this once by reaching for the laundry detergent the wrong way. Getting old sucks. Hope you're feeling better!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Aaaw MAN!!!!!!!!!! With all her flips and flops and double back whatever ya ma call its my daughter broke her ankle just doing a straddle jump on the trampoline. And my son did his forehead gash just crossing the monkey bars. I think if you're going to hurt yourself, you should at least get a good story out of the deal!!!!!!!! Nice sock picture though! :-) :-) :-) And meanwhile, I'm going to be getting way more careful taking off socks!

Melinda Zook said...

OMG, still chuckling here. Who knew taking socks off could be dangerous!

Be careful next time you step out of your underwear : )

jp said...

Sad commentary on getting older, ain't it? :-)

Maureen said...

Momo Fali: Wow. Drying her hair? I once screwed up my neck putting a turtleneck on…

Amy: How true! I can heave large printers and computers around but now …. Geez I don’t know if I’ll be able to do any of that again.

Geekymom: Well, I it was getting slowly better, but then I twisted it again on the weekend... so I think this will take some time. Sore, but not incapacitated.

Karen Meg: Har! Should be an Olympic sport! Yeah, aging’s barrel of fun alright.

Tara R: Seems to be, thanks.

Emma Sometimes: I think I invented a new Yoga pose…

Mommy Bits: Ah, another victim of random strains and sprains!!! Hope you’re better now.

Vegas Princess: I think you should post a tutorial on how to “walk” out of your socks. You may be saving a lot of people’s backs, it seems. Thank you. And Blog Hopping is a weekend activity a bunch of bloggers do thanks to BusyDad. Click on the martini on the sidebar and it will take you to his blog where it is all explained. It is a heck of a lot of fun!!!

Zoe’s Dad: Har! I would hope (not yours!) Oh, my… hope you’re feeling better!

Amy: Wow! That’s a great Sock Story!!!

Ann(ie): Yet another story about “seemingly normal” activities making invalids of us all… yikes…

Jill: Oh, I SAW your son’s photo… and you’re right, at least we can get blog fodder… and yes, be careful out there!

Melinda: Heh, yeah, who knew. And undressing has become a whole new dangerous activity for me. Sigh.

Maureen said...

JP: You got that right!!!

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