Back From The Big City

Gad it's good to be back home from my business trip to the big T.O.

Tor-on-to...

A nice place to visit, but with apologies to my Ontario readers, it's too damn big for this fraidy cat. Five frickin' million people; and I swear ALL of them were squeezed into Eaton Centre on Saturday.

Shockingly, my presentation on Friday went extremely well. Mucho kudos were received from the GE Head Honcho, Reps and many of the 100+ audience members afterward who told me I had them LOL'ing.

Which is a good thing, since I MEANT to be funny.

Besides the meeting, I spent Thursday to Saturday taking in the sights I had planned without incident. But instead of boring you with photos of buildings and statues, I'll let Sam tell you all about it.

What? You haven't met Sam my travelling companion? Well she and I just met last Thursday at the Winnipeg Airport:

So without further ado, here's Part 1 of

Sam Goes To The Big City:

What the hell? There I was, minding my own business, sitting on a glass shelf in a gift shop, when all of a sudden I'm shoved into a bag and everything goes black. After hours of bumping around, I am pulled from the darkness, squinting at the bright lights of a plush Toronto hotel room.

And my travels are far from over yet, as I am informed we are headed to something called "The CN Tower".

That doesn't sound good.

Damn. She didn't give in to my pleading blue eyes to let me stay on my green pillow and watch TV.

Oh no. She HAD to drag me to my first subway trip... I try to hold on tight, but it's kinda hard with these stupid fuzzy paws.

Why didn't I get sharp claws? Even plastic ones would keep me from flopping over all the time.

The train speeds us to our destination; and I am getting nervous about this trip.


Oh, hey! This isn't so bad after all. Yes, this tower IS big, isn't it? But I think even *I* can handle that height.

Yeserree.... not scary at all.

What's that?

It's only a scale model?

We haven't gone up the real thing yet?

Oh crap.






Aha! The Authorities!!!

I'm saved!

Constable Moose! Up here! Yes, me. Listen, I need you to talk some sense into this crazy woman who insists on taking me everywhere.

Apparently, we are headed up to "The Tower".

What's that? It's not so bad? Oh, sure! Look how BIG you are! Of COURSE you'd think it wasn't bad...


No one ever listens to me.

Okay, maybe if I just don't turn around, I'll just pretend we aren't so high up.

La de dah.... la de dah.

Not looking.....







Oh funny. Thanks loads.

No I am NOT looking through that thing at the "incredible view".

I am sitting right here and asking you once again to PLEASE go back to that very nice hotel room.

You know the one; with the soft green pillow?


Ah! Lunchtime! Well, okay... I am a bit hungry.

You ARE going to share this, aren't you?

Turkey..... and Bacon!

And it's bigger than I am! Nom, nom, nom.

Finally, after lunch we head back down. Straight into the gift shop.

Gift shop! Whoo Hoo! I loves Gift Shops! I wonder who I'll meet there?


Um. 'Scuse me. I thought this was the Gift Shop.

It is? What kinda gifts... honey???

This ISN'T funny.

You see those long sharp claws? That open drooling mouth?

And here I am, reeking of turkey and BACON!

You are a cruel woman, aren't you???


Ah, at last. Someone in charge.

Although I didn't know there was such a thing as the "Royal Canadian Mounted Bears"... maybe he protects the honey.

Heeeellllooo down there!


Yo! Bear!

Great. He thinks I'm his "conscience". I'm not a Cricket you idiot!

Stupid bear. No help at all. Just stands there with that idiotic grin on his face.


Ah, finally I've found others with the same point of view as me.

They look eager to help, but all they've suggested so far is that I get a cool hat and join them for a meal of maple bark.

No thanks my bucktoothed pals. I already had lunch.

Sigh.

I wonder where this insane woman is going to drag me to next...


Look for The Further Adventures of Sam in upcoming posts, including:

Part 2: Sam In The Hockey Hall Of Fame
and
Part 3: Sam's Trip to Ikea

... and maybe even more ... you just never know.

22 People would rather be commenting:

Jaffer said...

Toronto was never too big for me. Probably because I grew up in a city twice bigger than Toronto !

Glad you had a great trip !

Ashley said...

Adorable! Sam is a wonderful, if reluctant, tour guide! Nom Nom Nom indeed. Speaking of adorable, I can't get a thing done since I discovered this live video feed:
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shiba-inu-puppy-cam
All puppies, all the time!
And on a completely unrelated topic, I think you will heartily approve of my halloween costume this year :o) I hope we get a halloween post with all you guys' costumes too...

Vegas Princess said...

And here I was thinking I am the only person who travels with a stuffed friend on trips. I have a cow named Bob that is my flying/travelling buddy. Rescued him from an airport gift shop in Madison, Wisconsin. I think Sam and Bob would love each other.

Heather said...

I love it! Sam is very cute and entertaining. Can't wait for more! :)

Maureen said...

Jaffer: Well then, I can SEE how that would change your perspective... but I'll take smaller Winnipeg any day. Although I loved the subway; speedy and clean!

Ashley: Oh, you enabler you! Now I HAVE to check that link out! And I shall have to see pics of that costume, please. Let me know if you post it anywhere... and no, no costumes this year; I don't even know if Heather is doing the party thing this year or not! But I WILL be doing more pumpkin carving, although I still haven't decided WHAT I am going to do yet.

Vegas Princess: Bob the Cow!!!! Oh, you MUST post him on your blog. There has to be a way we can get them together. Awwwww....

Heather: Thank you! I shall pass on your compliments to Sam. She will definitely be back here soon.

Tara R. said...

I moved from a town about that size to one that is only 30,000 or so, on a busy day. I miss the bustle.

JoJo said...

AW!! Sam is so CUTE!!! I have a traveling companion too, a doggy named Lucky. I enjoyed your trip to T-Town. Just think, Sam was sitting right where Olga the Traveling Bra was posing for pics just a few weeks ago!

Irene said...

I always want to take my real dog places with me, so he can be that companion for me that Sam is for you. Unluckily, my real dog does not like public transportation and thinks elevators are kind of scary. Maybe I'll buy a toy cocker spaniel and bring him along from now on. I kind of feel like I would be cheating, though.

VE said...

Ha ha. Sam went to IKEA? I can't wait. And I'm glad you featured a moose in one of your Canadian pictures because I think it's actually a law there that you have to have a picture of a moose...

Babs (Beetle) said...

ha ha! Sam is so sweet :O)
I eagerly await the next adventure.

Congratulations on your successful presentation talk.

VioletSky said...

I hadn't realized there was so much wildlife in Toronto

Janet said...

We like Sam here in Iowa. We think Sam needs to be mailed to Iowa for some stateside adventures. ;-)

Jay said...

At least you didn't make poor Sam sit on that terrifying glass floor! LOL!

Maureen said...

Tara: I don't mind a few days of the hustle and bustle, but I couldn't take it every day... the freeways, the packed subways. Yikes!

JoJo: You MUST show Lucky on your blog too... and about being where Olga the Bra was... I KNOW!!! I couldn't believe it when I saw the Moose; my first thought was "Hey! The Moose from Drowsey's Blog!!!" Tres cool!

Irene: It's not cheating.... I missed my three cats and Sam reminds me of our youngest, Tawnee. So it was nice to have a cat on the bed like at home ;)

VE: I do believe you're right. Mooses are awesome. Especially when you dress them up. Yes, Sam and I were at IKEA... post upcoming.

Aw, thanks Babs! It's a relief to have it over and done with.

VioletSky: And even MORE "wildlife" came out after dark on Yonge Street while I hid in my room....

Janet: Aww! Sam would LOVE to meet Lily and Tinsel in person!!!!

Jay: Yeah. I would never do THAT.

Momo Fali said...

I can just imagine people staring at you taking pictures with that cat! Hilarious!

Bruce said...

Sam's Trip to Ikea.....owww, you are a cruel woman.

Lady Banana said...

How lovely, the adventures of Sam :)

Fantastic views as well!!

BTW I have something for you at my blog!

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, how cute! I love Sam. Didn't she want to stand on the glass floor?

And I'm glad you had your audience laughing. Isn't it nice when they're not laughing AT you?

JD at I Do Things

Jay said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! You cruel, cruel woman! LOL!

OHmommy said...

LOL.... I am picturing you a business woman walking around the city with Sam. ;) Cute.

Technodoll said...

Now I don't have to go up in the needle, I've seen all I want to see! LOL! Sam = cute. Yes :-)

Drowsey Monkey said...

AHAHAHAHA!

I LOVE IT!

Yes, that's the same moose Olga and Drowsey were on, how did we miss the bear though?

OMG - I'm loving this, LOL!!!

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