Gad it's good to be back home from my business trip to the big T.O.
A nice place to visit, but with apologies to my Ontario readers, it's too damn big for this fraidy cat. Five frickin' million people; and I swear ALL of them were squeezed into Eaton Centre on Saturday.
Shockingly, my presentation on Friday went extremely well. Mucho kudos were received from the GE Head Honcho, Reps and many of the 100+ audience members afterward who told me I had them LOL'ing.
Which is a good thing, since I MEANT to be funny.
Besides the meeting, I spent Thursday to Saturday taking in the sights I had planned without incident. But instead of boring you with photos of buildings and statues, I'll let Sam tell you all about it.
What? You haven't met Sam my travelling companion? Well she and I just met last Thursday at the Winnipeg Airport:
So without further ado, here's Part 1 of
What the hell? There I was, minding my own business, sitting on a glass shelf in a gift shop, when all of a sudden I'm shoved into a bag and everything goes black. After hours of bumping around, I am pulled from the darkness, squinting at the bright lights of a plush Toronto hotel room.
And my travels are far from over yet, as I am informed we are headed to something called "The CN Tower".
That doesn't sound good.
Damn. She didn't give in to my pleading blue eyes to let me stay on my green pillow and watch TV.
Oh no. She HAD to drag me to my first subway trip... I try to hold on tight, but it's kinda hard with these stupid fuzzy paws.
Why didn't I get sharp claws? Even plastic ones would keep me from flopping over all the time.
The train speeds us to our destination; and I am getting nervous about this trip.
Oh, hey! This isn't so bad after all. Yes, this tower IS big, isn't it? But I think even *I* can handle that height.
Yeserree.... not scary at all.
It's only a scale model?
We haven't gone up the real thing yet?
Aha! The Authorities!!!
Constable Moose! Up here! Yes, me. Listen, I need you to talk some sense into this crazy woman who insists on taking me everywhere.
Apparently, we are headed up to "The Tower".
What's that? It's not so bad? Oh, sure! Look how BIG you are! Of COURSE you'd think it wasn't bad...
No one ever listens to me.
Okay, maybe if I just don't turn around, I'll just pretend we aren't so high up.
La de dah.... la de dah.
Oh funny. Thanks loads.
No I am NOT looking through that thing at the "incredible view".
I am sitting right here and asking you once again to PLEASE go back to that very nice hotel room.
You know the one; with the soft green pillow?
Ah! Lunchtime! Well, okay... I am a bit hungry.
You ARE going to share this, aren't you?
Turkey..... and Bacon!
And it's bigger than I am! Nom, nom, nom.
Finally, after lunch we head back down. Straight into the gift shop.
Gift shop! Whoo Hoo! I loves Gift Shops! I wonder who I'll meet there?
Um. 'Scuse me. I thought this was the Gift Shop.
It is? What kinda gifts... honey???
This ISN'T funny.
You see those long sharp claws? That open drooling mouth?
And here I am, reeking of turkey and BACON!
You are a cruel woman, aren't you???
Ah, at last. Someone in charge.
Although I didn't know there was such a thing as the "Royal Canadian Mounted Bears"... maybe he protects the honey.
Heeeellllooo down there!
Great. He thinks I'm his "conscience". I'm not a Cricket you idiot!
Stupid bear. No help at all. Just stands there with that idiotic grin on his face.
Ah, finally I've found others with the same point of view as me.
They look eager to help, but all they've suggested so far is that I get a cool hat and join them for a meal of maple bark.
No thanks my bucktoothed pals. I already had lunch.
I wonder where this insane woman is going to drag me to next...
Look for The Further Adventures of Sam in upcoming posts, including:
Part 2: Sam In The Hockey Hall Of Fame
Part 3: Sam's Trip to Ikea
... and maybe even more ... you just never know.
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