I Knew It

I knew it would happen one day. But did I DO anything about it? Of course not. That would make too much sense.

What the heck am I talking about you ask? (Don't deny it, I heard you).

Well, it all started in 1987. Yep. Over twenty (oh, gad, really?) years ago not only was I suckered into various Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Crystalware and Mary Kay parties, I actually attended a "Plant Party"... the highlight of which was when I miraculously won the door prize. My trophy for enduring yet another night of How Much Can I Spend On Crap I Don't Need To Still Be Considered A Good Friend was a blue bowl of not-really-silk, silk flowers.

Because it is blue and my bedroom had blue in it, I plopped it up on the headboard of our waterbed that night when I arrived home (I know... am I a designer maverick or what?) and there it has sat ever since.

But then along came not one, not two but three cats. And as any cat owner will attest to, cats adore high places. The higher, the better. Ours love our waterbed headboard. It's wide and sturdy, a purrfect place to stretch, to nap, to sit regally surveying their Kingdom or to protect their throne by pacing. Back.

Tawnee and FlowersAnd forth.
Tawnee PacingAnd back again.
Tawnee Back At The FlowersWith stopovers to inexplicably smell the omnipresent not-really-silk silk flowers obstructing their otherwise clear path along the way. The only problem is even though they squeeze in-between it and the wall, with each pass the heavy bowl gets bumped a titch closer to the edge. An ominous sight when your exposed sleepy noggin is laying defenseless directly beneath it.

Deadly Weapon To BeAnd as I feared, it finally happened. Yesterday after hubby had left for work and I was laying in bed, lazily planning out what to avoid accomplish on my vacation day, the feline equivalent to "King Of The Castle" resumed. The battle became intense with spitting and hissing and of course, culminating in the inevitable knocking of the bowl right off its lofty perch.

I looked up in the nick of time. And to my amazement, I caught it just inches from my head. I couldn't believe it! There it sat in my hand as Tawnee, Sheba and Dakotah beelined it out of the room to continue the war down the hallway.

Living with felines must have rubbed off on me. I've got the reflexes of a cat.

So now the bowl has finally, after 22 years, been banished from the headboard. I think I need to get something a titch less "80s" and a tad less blunt-instrument deadly.

After all, I may not be awake so lucky next time.

21 People would rather be commenting:

JoJo said...

YIKES!!!! Just be thankful you don't live in earthquake country like we do. After the 1989 Loma Prieta quake in SF, we decided it'd be prudent to move the large picture in the heavy wooden frame off the wall directly over our bed and put a tie dye tapestry in its place.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

Good catch! Guess the cats decided they put up with that obstruction long enough!

Irene said...

My cat Gandhi has knocked over just about everything that's not screwed down, including boxes with precious objects in them, belonging not to me, but to the ex (Yes, he should have come and gotten them). She likes to climb on top of and into things and is very curious. I fear for my sculptures and want to glue them down. I think I had better move them to safer places.

ReformingGeek said...

Yikes! Poor kitties. All those years with that thing in their way. They finally figured out how to get rid of it.

Wait. You were almost hurt? Oh yeah. Sorry about that. ;-)

Heather said...

Good thing you caught it! Cats love dropping things on their sleeping humans!

Bruce Johnson said...

Cats keep you young....or eventually kill you. They are like gods pop-quiz.

From the Old InkWell said...

I don't have cats, but I now have a one year old grandbaby roaming the house. He broke a lamp yesterday. hmmm...wonder what it will be today?

Momo Fali said...

Please tell me it wasn't just banished from the headboard, but from the house altogether!

JC said...

Does your lucky husband realize that you have Michelle Pfeiffer/Halle Berry like talents???

Maureen said...

Jo-Jo: Ha! Good call... I can totally see why.

Karen: Yeah! I guess they did... darn smart cats.

The Green Stone Woman: Yes, cats are like kids; but instead of moving stuff that are low for kids, you have to move stuff that's high for cats.

Reforming Geek: Yeah. Thanks. And the felines thank you for your worry too.

Heather: Not to mention dropping THEMSELVES on people in the middle of the night too.

Ahahaha Bruce! Yep, and I suck at pop-quizzes.

Marsha: Oh yeah... you'll never realise how many breakable things you have until a toddler is on the loose. Good luck!

Ahahaha Momo! You mean you don't like 80's vintage, er junk?

Maureen said...

Ha JC! He wishes! (Actually, yes he DOES wish....) Meow!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of the 80's - you sleep on a waterbed?? I guess you don't have back problems then (I tried one once and it just about dsstroyed my fragile back).

Cupcake Blonde said...

Our cats do the same thing. Climb up on places high and proceed to knock off whatever is in their way. They get on our headboard too but usually it is the cat leaping from that perch on my head with claws out that gets me in the face.

Ed & Jeanne said...

You are only there for your cats amusement...get used to it...

JD at I Do Things said...

Oooh, close one! I'd be nervous to have anything on my headboard, cats or not.

I love that they smell the fake flowers.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

My biggest fear is that I'll be decapitated in my sleep (remember my ceiling fan post?) so I would never have a deadly blunt instrument above my head like that. Of course if you were kilt in your sleep you wouldn't know it so maybe my fears are unjustified.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE your cats! Is the one in the photos a siamese? That's what it looks like...

...which is not to say I'm unrelieved that your head didn't get flattened into pancake, Maureen. Phew! Close call, huh? Next time, I'd nail stuff down if I were you (preferably not the cats of course).

Staci at Just Bloggled said...

I don't know what I'm more surprised about--that you didn't end up with a concussion, that you've had the plant in the same place for 20 years, or that you somehow manage to have a waterbed with 3 cats. My dogs tend to nest like cats (turn around and kneed what they're sitting on with their claws). If I had a waterbed, it would have sprung a hole and water would have gushed out like Old Faithful in a day. As for the plant, I would have probably ended up with a black eye that no one would have believed me came from a cat the next day at work (happened with the dog before, long story). Congrats on catching it.

Maureen said...

OH Pinklea, I LOVE my waterbed! It's the old fashioned kind; no baffles!

Vegas Princess: Heh, heh... yeah, hubby's been landed on a few times. I don't know why they don't target me; probably because I feed them ;)

How true VE, how true.

JD: Yeah, weird, aren't they? Well it's gone now, so they have the run of the headboard now, unencumbered.

Lady Banana: Thanks, and yes, I swear they KNOW it too.

Oh yeah, Jeff, I know about your ceiling fan. Something I would never do either, for that exact same fear...

Ha Tony! Actually Tawnee is a Ragdoll. Kinda like a Siamese and Persian combined.

Oh Staci: The only way to have waterbed in a house of cats is to have LOTS of layers of blankets under the sheets. Yes, they love sleeping on it too; and knock on wood, we've never had a problem with their claws. And luckily, it's too high for our small dog to jump up on. Sorry to laugh at your pain, but Ha! on the black eye... a story you should definitey blog about!

Unknown said...

I didn't catch that the flowers were on top of the headboard and got distracted by the Siamese markings on your cat.

And then I was surprised that the cat is so fluffy as the only Siamese cats I've seen are short haired and kind of sleek.

Then I was wondering if yours talks all the time.

And then you almost suffered brain damage and I went back to read where the bowl was located.

Glad you're not suffering a head trauma.

And now to my question, does the Siamese meow a lot?

Louise said...

Definitely an omen that said plant-thingy needs to be repurposed. (And really, you should thank the cats!)

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