I have the power to make inanimate objects disappear and reappear! Really and truly!
Case in point:
The morning was going well; I was ready in record time. The pets were fed, the house was in order. I was EARLY. Awesome. So when I was ready to leave for the office, I shoved my hand into my purse pocket for my keys. I keep my house keys and car keys clipped onto a tres cool Pink Panther keychain and keep them in the same right outside pocket of my grey messenger bag purse for easy access.
What the deuce? They weren't there!
I checked the left outside purse pocket. The one they are not supposed to be in, as my camera and phone are stowed safely in there so they don't get scratched.
Whew... no keys. No wait... Crap! No Keys!
I checked inside my bag. There WAS lot of miscellaneous stuff in there, but my missing keys weren't miscellaneously present. Holy cow, I have to clean this thing out one of these years...
I checked the purse pockets again. Work keys with Gumby and Pokey were sitting obediently in their assigned place like good little classic cartoon characters should, but the mischievious Pink Panther had escaped.
I searched my briefcase... dig, dig, dig. Nothing. No jingling noises. No keys. No Henry Mancini soundtrack to hint at Pinky's hiding spot.
The minutes were ticking away.
Crapity crap crap!
I checked the room where I had thrown, erm "carefully deposited" my purse the previous evening.
No keys on the floor.
I checked on and under the dining room table... maybe I left them there and the cats assumed Pinky was a new jangly (? jangly?? Okay, I make up words too) cat toy. When in doubt, ALWAYS blame the cats. Dammit. Not there either. Apologies, felines.
I checked the craftroom. Zilch.
I checked the hallway. A lot of furballs (gad I have to vacuum) but no shiny thingys.
I went back to my purse and searched again. Excuses for my lateness soon began to float inside my head.
"Hello, work? I won't be in today. My car won't start."
(Well, it wouldn't be a lie; it IS a titch difficult to start it without KEYS).
Then an Epiphany. Ahaha! I probably left them in my jacket pocket yesterday! Silly moi! I poked around the pockets, only to discover that kleenex I have had in there for like, forever. Crap! And Ewww!
I evil-eyed my messenger bag lying helpless at the front door, this close to dumping everything out, pissed that my wonderfully organized morning had swiftly evaporated.
I plunged my hand into that first purse pocket for the third time.
And pulled out my keys, Pink Panther fob and all.
Yes, I am Magic. I made them reappear out of sheer willpower.
It's the only plausible explanation.
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