No, I don't mean the babble-for-one overheard whilst standing behind daft customers in the grocery store checkout line.
These are conversations I'd love to have with my "Past-Self". I have often wondered what I would or wouldn't divulge to younger Maureen if I had my very own Time Tunnel to communicate with her, er, ME 20, 30 or even 40 years ago.
We'll call this first such scenario
Conversations With Myself #1
Present Me: Hey Maureen, it's me, er, you... only 35 years from now.
1975 Me: Oh sure.... Hey! Would you mind not sitting on my Elton John records? I have them all lined up on my bed in the order I want to listen to them. Jeepers.
Present Me: Oops, sorry about that. No really! I've come back in time to let you know what's in store for your future.
1975 Me: Uh, huh. Shouldn't you be sporting some metallic-type jumpsuit like everyone in the future wears?
Present Me: Nope. Mostly I wear jeans and tees. Or turtlenecks on coolish days.... So far there has been no world-wide mandate for a single uniform. Which is a good thing, since I would look horrid in a jumpsuit now. Especially a silver one. Gak.
So.... what do you want to know about the year 2010?
1975 Me: 2010 eh? Okay, I'll play along. Do I have a flying car?
Present Me: Nope. But I do own a highly reliable blue van...
1975 Me: Now that's just depressing.
Present Me: It's a pretty blue... had it for years.... Oh! I know! Look! I have a great phone!
1975 Me: A phone? You're all freaked out about a phone? We've had those for like, forever you know.
Present Me: Not one like this! You can surf the 'net, take photos, listen to music, and erm, even phone people.
1975 Me: Far out... where do you plug it in? Don't you have cameras anymore?
Present Me: Oh sure, I have one too; to take BETTER pictures than my phone!
1975 Me: Uh huh. And your camera is also used to call people, but not as well as your phone, right? Ooooo - kay...... What the heck is "surf the net?" We don't live near the ocean.
Present Me: No, no. It has nothing to do with water. The "Net" is short for "Internet"! An amazing NETwork of interconnected computers for the sharing of information all around the world!
1975 Me: Like a big encyclopedia? I always wanted to own a whole set of encyclopedias... a good set with like 20 volumes and fake leather binding. Unless of course I was rich in the future and I could afford REAL leather. That would be groovy. I could look up anything without having to walk all the way to the Library.
Present Me: No, no, no. All that information is now stored digitally. No need for encyclopedias anymore, you can Google anything on your computer.
1975 Me: Google? What's a Google? That sounds made up. Gooooooogle, Googly... Googly... Goo-Gill-Lee!
Present Me: Stop it.
1975 Me: Sorry. Well, darnit; I like encyclopedias.... are they stored on data tapes like in Star Trek?
Present Me: No. Tapes went the way of the dinosaur too. Then disks. Came and went. Now everything is digital and online.
1975 Me: Look. I'm sorry, but I really do think you're pulling my leg. No metallic jumpsuits, no rocket-powered cars, no encyclopedias. I don't believe you're from the future at all. Are you sure you're not just some crazy relative that stopped by for a visit with my Mom and Dad? You look vaguely familiar.
Present Me: Well, I COULD prove it to you by giving you all the sports scores for the next 35 years, but that would be wrong. I mean, look what it did to Marty McFly...
1975 Me: Marty McWho?
Present Me: Oh sorry. That will make more sense in 1985... no wait. Was that Back To The Future I or II? Oh crap. Maybe we should stop for a titch. I'll tell you all about your work career the next time we talk.
1975 Me: Great! Now THAT'S something I want to hear about! Did I fulfill my dream of becoming a great artist, roaming the world, painting, sculpting and laughing hysterically at the poor saps performing mundane tasks, alone in their tiny offices without windows?????
Present Me: Er.... wellllll...... not exactly.....
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