Conversations With Myself

Conversations With Myself
No, I don't mean the babble-for-one overheard whilst standing behind daft customers in the grocery store checkout line.

These are conversations I'd love to have with my "Past-Self". I have often wondered what I would or wouldn't divulge to younger Maureen if I had my very own Time Tunnel to communicate with her, er, ME 20, 30 or even 40 years ago.

We'll call this first such scenario

Conversations With Myself #1
(brilliant, no?)

Present Me: Hey Maureen, it's me, er, you... only 35 years from now.

1975 Me: Oh sure.... Hey! Would you mind not sitting on my Elton John records? I have them all lined up on my bed in the order I want to listen to them. Jeepers.

Present Me: Oops, sorry about that. No really! I've come back in time to let you know what's in store for your future.

1975 Me: Uh, huh. Shouldn't you be sporting some metallic-type jumpsuit like everyone in the future wears?

Present Me: Nope. Mostly I wear jeans and tees. Or turtlenecks on coolish days.... So far there has been no world-wide mandate for a single uniform. Which is a good thing, since I would look horrid in a jumpsuit now. Especially a silver one. Gak.

So.... what do you want to know about the year 2010?

1975 Me: 2010 eh? Okay, I'll play along. Do I have a flying car?

Present Me: Nope. But I do own a highly reliable blue van...

1975 Me: Now that's just depressing.

Present Me: It's a pretty blue... had it for years.... Oh! I know! Look! I have a great phone!

1975 Me: A phone? You're all freaked out about a phone? We've had those for like, forever you know.

Present Me: Not one like this! You can surf the 'net, take photos, listen to music, and erm, even phone people.

1975 Me: Far out... where do you plug it in? Don't you have cameras anymore?

Present Me: Oh sure, I have one too; to take BETTER pictures than my phone!

1975 Me: Uh huh. And your camera is also used to call people, but not as well as your phone, right? Ooooo - kay...... What the heck is "surf the net?" We don't live near the ocean.

Present Me: No, no. It has nothing to do with water. The "Net" is short for "Internet"! An amazing NETwork of interconnected computers for the sharing of information all around the world!

1975 Me: Like a big encyclopedia? I always wanted to own a whole set of encyclopedias... a good set with like 20 volumes and fake leather binding. Unless of course I was rich in the future and I could afford REAL leather. That would be groovy. I could look up anything without having to walk all the way to the Library.

Present Me: No, no, no. All that information is now stored digitally. No need for encyclopedias anymore, you can Google anything on your computer.

1975 Me: Google? What's a Google? That sounds made up. Gooooooogle, Googly... Googly... Goo-Gill-Lee!

Present Me: Stop it.

1975 Me: Sorry. Well, darnit; I like encyclopedias.... are they stored on data tapes like in Star Trek?

Present Me: No. Tapes went the way of the dinosaur too. Then disks. Came and went. Now everything is digital and online.

1975 Me: Look. I'm sorry, but I really do think you're pulling my leg. No metallic jumpsuits, no rocket-powered cars, no encyclopedias. I don't believe you're from the future at all. Are you sure you're not just some crazy relative that stopped by for a visit with my Mom and Dad? You look vaguely familiar.

Present Me: Well, I COULD prove it to you by giving you all the sports scores for the next 35 years, but that would be wrong. I mean, look what it did to Marty McFly...

1975 Me: Marty McWho?

Present Me: Oh sorry. That will make more sense in 1985... no wait. Was that Back To The Future I or II? Oh crap. Maybe we should stop for a titch. I'll tell you all about your work career the next time we talk.

1975 Me: Great! Now THAT'S something I want to hear about! Did I fulfill my dream of becoming a great artist, roaming the world, painting, sculpting and laughing hysterically at the poor saps performing mundane tasks, alone in their tiny offices without windows?????

Present Me: Er.... wellllll...... not exactly.....

21 People would rather be commenting:

choochoo said...

I remember the days when the phone would ring and someone would answer it and say hello to find out who was in the other end. Now I look at the display, think "who the hell is THAT?" and then I use said phone to look the number up on the internet. Then a lot of times, I think "bloody salesmen" or something of the sort.

CarrieMarie said...

Yeah, isn't it funny how some of the things imagined are nowhere near reality, and others (hello, cell phones/communicators) are so much cooler! : )

Unknown said...

SUCH a cool post - and so funny/true!

In theory it would be great to go back and give yourself advice but in practice it would be a nightmare most like.

Hmmm..... Now would my past self be disappointed? Would she listen to the good advice portion of my words? Or would she go ahead and make the mistakes anyway?



WarsawMommy said...

I loved this! I can only imagine how my younger self would react to my current self popping on over and telling me about my/our life.

My younger self would never recover from the shock. Maybe it's a good thing that time travel is not (yet) possible.

Richard said...

I'm still waiting on my shiny jumpsuit too. :(

Brenda Grolle said...


My kids are horrified that we actually had to grow up without computers. :)

Daisy said...

Daisy's "mom" here:
Remember getting your very first PC? It was like, this is cool but what do you do with it? We bought a couple of games and that got boring, and I think my husband did some sort of home budget program on it.

JD at I Do Things said...


I'd love to have a conversation with "Teen JD," but she'd probably be too stoned to participate.

It really sinks in, tho, doesn't it, how far we've come in terms of technology. I can't imagine trying to explain the Internet to someone from 30 years ago.

Especially if they were stoned!

JoJo said...

LOL!!!! Heck I remember in 1992 when a very young Anna Paquin, fresh off her "Piano" debut, was doing commercials for something called "The Information Super Highway" and how it "was coming". Brian and I were like, 'what in the SAM HILL is this commercial for? And what's an Information Super Highway???"

You know what I would tell myself 20 years ago? BUY LOTS OF STOCK IN MICROSOFT!!!!

Jay said...

Hahahahaaha! 'Not exactly' LOL!

We often have this conversation, OH and I, where we look at some of our stupendous (kind of .. ) technology and wonder what our younger selves would have made of it. Mostly, we figure we wouldn't have believed it.

Bruce Johnson said...

Thanks for reminding me exactly how old I really am.

Irene said...

I sure wonder how I would have reacted to a future me speaking to me at an earlier date. Oh wait, it is still possible, isn't it? Me at 85!

Babs-beetle said...

We were only talking about this today, in the car. It's very hard to believe that I lived in the days of the horse & cart. There was no TV. Most homes didn't own a phone and there were hardly any cars on the roads. I wonder how far technology will go in 50 years from now?

Unknown said...

I loved this! I can only imagine how my younger self would react to my current self popping on over and telling me about my/our life.
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Murr Brewster said...

The depressing thing is, if I try to imagine what they'll come up with thirty years from now, I find out it's already on sale at Best Buy and the neighbor has three of them in his pocket.

Unknown said...

Now I look at the display, think "who the hell is THAT?" compare health insurance

David Macaulay said...

I so miss encylopedias - great post.

Swubird said...


Hilarious and clever. I especially liked the part about the 20-volume set of encyclopedias. When I first got out of the service, I got a job selling encyclopedias. Door to door. Talk about depressing. I made about three cents an hour. But I thought they were great books. I even wanted a set. Now look, we have Wikipedia. Who'd ever have thunk it?

Happy trails.

Mandy said...

Ha! Very funny! I wouldn't have listened to myself I'm sure as I did such a good job of not listening to anyone else either!

Unknown said...

You are too cool for school!

I resemble your remarks, and I thank you.


Unknown said...

I loved this! I can only imagine how my younger self would react to my current self popping on over and telling me about my/our life.
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