Ah two week vacations at Christmas time... the perfect plan. One I have been ingeniously implementing for years now. Because I refuse to admit I procrastinate, I desperately require that first week off work to do final preparations for the Biggest Day of the Year.

Therefore, it's not surprising that the second week is vitally necessary to collapse relax from said Biggest Day of the Year.

I must not be the only one; because television programmers seem to have adjusted their schedules to match this phenomenon. The week before Christmas is filled with holiday specials and every seasonal movie ever made.

And the week after Christmas is jam-packed with "marathons". They just know we are stuffed with turkey, chocolate and champagne and thus can barely summon the energy to heave ourselves off the couch for days. Talk about a captive audience.

Sometime on New Year's Eve I got hooked on the Comedy Network's Corner Gas "Merry-thon". They aired all 107 episodes in the series, which took nearly three days. Makes me thank the Gods I didn't purchase those Corner Gas DVDs for hubby's Christmas gift after all.

I love Corner Gas. Not just because it's Canadian. Or because it's hilarious. Or because it frequently mentions Winnipeg. No, I just love the characters and the writing.

What I DON'T love is the other Marathon running at the same time. The Marathon of Exactly.The.Same.Stupid.Commercials at every frickin' break.

I mean for the first hour or two that Burger King Bourbon Whopper looks kinda appetizing.

But by hour 20, I was getting nauseous at the thought of a burger with a sweet sauce, onion rings, cheese and bacon on it.

By hour 40, I vowed as God is my witness, I would never step into a Burger King again.

Every few minutes I was watching the idenitcal run of repeating ads from cough and mucous medicines (Gak!) to dandruff and acne cures, with of course, Burger King thrown in for good measure.

It got so bad, I nearly turned it off! But instead I grabbed the laptop and got a few things done whilst rooted in my comfy chair.

• I answered emails.
• I napped.
• I surfed.
• I napped.
• I snacked.
• I napped.
• I even wrote a blog post!

So it wasn't a complete waste of time.

But I just about died when it was over and hubby asked me to pop by Burger King to get him that stupid Whopper.

Firstly: HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope 2010 holds many great things for us all.Secondly: As a new year begins, one cannot help but ponder the passage of time on a personal level. Yes, I realize I am getting... gak!... "Older". But at least I'm not like hubby who is getting "Old Fogier". I see it happening before my eyes. The guy who once rocked out to Zeppelin is the same one who recently, upon waking to the clock radio on the morning of his 51st birthday, uttered the following Old Fogie Standard: "Geez, they'll make a song about ANYTHING nowadays."

I couldn't resist (like any good wife should) pointing out his Old Fogie-ness yet again. "Um, honey, you DO know that Carly Rae Jepsen's 'Bucket Song' is sampling a very old song, don't you?"

He didn't answer... probably feigning selective deafness once more; another O.F. trait. Especially for married male O.Fs.

I refuse to become an O.F. However, at times I have a sneaking suspicion my age may be creeping up. A titch. It irritates me to no end when I find myself having a "Senior Moment". Like yesterday whilst in the shower. (Ha! Got you interested NOW, don't I?)

I mean, how hard can it be to keep only two things straight? I have my shampoo and I have my liquid body soap. Extremely familiar items I have used correctly thousands of times before.

Until yesterday when I squeezed out a whopping blob of liquid body soap into my hand and absent-mindedly slapped it up on my scalp.

"Oh, that's not too bad," you are thinking (I know you are; don't deny it).

Well perhaps it wouldn't have been problematic if the liquid soap wasn't jam packed with a kajillion itsy-bitsy skin-exfoliating pumice granules.

Ever try to get a kajillion itsy-bitsy skin-exfoliating pumice granules out of your hair? It's not easy.

Or fun for that matter.

I doubt scalp-exfoliation will ever catch on. At least for non-baldy-type people.

* Sigh. *

I'm just thankful I was in the shower....

... and even more thankful that hubby didn't witness my Senior Moment.

Yes, mine are called Senior Moments.... because I am NOT an Old Fogie.