Open Letter To Columbia House

A few years ago, I made the foolish mistake of signing up for the Columbia House DVD club. I fulfilled my subscription and then quit the club, finding their prices higher (especially with postage) than those at my local stores. And I didn't have to wait weeks to get my movies either. No, it just wasn't for me.

Since that time, however, Columbia House has nagged, pleaded and cajoled me endlessly to re-subscribe as I was "such a good customer".

I have received numerous phone calls, mailings and emails. All those "special offers" I have politely refused. Yesterday, since I was home on a vacation day, a new tactic reared it's ugly head.

Now I am getting recorded message phone calls. Yup, I answer the phone, and after a long pause, a recorded commercial is playing requesting I re-join "The Club".

They just DON'T GET IT.

Therefore, here is my Open Letter to Columbia House Canada:

I do not want your cheap CDs
I do not want your DVDs

Please stop calling me at home
I will not order over the phone

I will not order over the net
Can't you record it in your system yet?

I will not order by snail mail
I will not order by e-mail

Please stop your letters
Please stop your calls
You're driving me up the walls

I've been polite
I've been sincere
I do not want your products here!

I will not "click here" with my mouse
I will NOT subscribe

Thank you.

11 People would rather be commenting:

Maureen said...

Billy Mac said...
I've noticed in my stats that your blog is sending traffic my way...yet I did a search of my blog and a search of my gmail account and can't see any request of a review or a completed review...did I mess up? If you are waiting then please email me at and yell at me alittle becasue I think your blog is great. I would have emailed you personally but I don't see a link to your email account...Thanks.
Critique My Blog

19/6/07 12:00

Maureen said...

Phara said...
I think several of us probably need to copy and paste that letter...

19/6/07 12:57

Maureen said...

CircesMagic said...
(Stands up and applauds) Here is what happens at our house...Cue ringing phone....I pick up the phone and say more Hello then I hang up, if your not quick enough to answer then oh well, try another time, I am however looking forward to my move because that means I get a NEW number and less calls, WOOHOO!!

19/6/07 15:21

Maureen said...

BonnieRose said...
let's hope they get the msge.. lol

19/6/07 15:32

Maureen said...

Rachael said...
I feel your pain!!! UGH!!

19/6/07 16:06

Maureen said...

j said...
I feel your pain, too...but I really like your poem! :-)

19/6/07 16:34

Maureen said...

Ingrid said...
I think the Witness Protection Program is the only way to truly escape Columbia House. They're very psycho ex-boyfriend needy. It's creepy!

20/6/07 00:52

Maureen said...

LOL!!! Then sign me up...

20/6/07 08:37

Maureen said...

Heather said...
I love it! I've had my dealings with Columbia House too. No thanks!

20/6/07 10:51

Maureen said...

Jill said...
Ugh! Sounds like a giant pain!!!!!!! I knew there was some reason I didn't sign up!

20/6/07 14:18

Maureen said...

JMC said...
Ha! I see I'm not the only goofy poetry writer in cyberspace. :) I'm actually posting an ode to my coffee maker tomorrow.

21/6/07 11:52

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Yeah, I should be doing laundry, yardwork, cleaning the house or planning meals. But frankly, I'D RATHER BE BLOGGING... about things like this.

Wanna know more?
Click the "About Me" tab above.

Wanna read more?
Click below for the Archives.


Subscribe in a Reader

Subscribe in a reader

Or enter your email address: