Prison Break

I used to work with a lady. A very nice lady, really. She was caring, sincere and extremely generous. Her parents had passed on, she never married and had no one to go home to. I guess she considered work her "family". She was there at the break of dawn and stayed till late at night.

I know she was lonely.

I really enjoyed working with her for many years before she retired. Except for one thing: she talked.

And talked.

And talked.

Oh, and did I mention she could talk? A LOT.

About her relatives I had never met. About her frustrations with work. Hell, about ANYTHING.

I tried to be a good person, really I did.

At first I would listen and try to keep up. But it didn't take long until I resigned myself to the fact that I would NEVER be able to figure it all out and found myself simply shaking my head in faux-understanding. I was lost; like some soap-opera I just tuned into, the characters, situations and story were at most times, incomprehensible to me.

And it didn't matter how busy I was; I could never have a short to-the-point phone call from her. Even though I could answer her question in the first 3 seconds, she would drone on and on for 20 minutes about something entirely unrelated... most times a story she told me just the day before.

What was worse was when I would have to go to her office. I would cringe and mentally-prepare myself.

I'd even contemplate escape plans beforehand, like some prisoner at Alcatraz.

If there was a way to page myself, I surely would have done so. "Sorry, but I really have to go; computer-related emergency you know."

But it didn't matter.

She was oblivious to my attempts at closing the conversation. "So, I'd better be off to that important meeting now..." as she kept yammering, me backing away like Richard Kimball dodging the FBI.

My usual escape was the stairway, directly across from her fifth floor office. But even that didn't stop her. As I decended, I would still see her, peering down two flights, STILL talking, talking talking....

The only way to escape her grasp was when some other unsuspecting victim co-worker came by that needed her in some way.

Ah Freedom! Glorious Freedom!

Now that she is retired, I miss her. Really.

And I have about four extra hours a day of work-time to fill.

13 People would rather be commenting:

Vegas Princess said...

Ugh I have one of these at my work and I must plan my hallway trips and time spent in the break room around his various meanderings throughout the building (he's a maintanence guy/janitor but I have never actually seen him do any work) or else I will be stuck talking about something I have no interest in, mostly in a one sided conversation. He is the one who constantly disturbs me when I am trying to eat my dinner and read. My one quiet hour of the work day. Can't you see I'm reading!

Worker Mommy said...

Ha!

Don't all offices have that 1 person ?
Good thing some heavenly soul created the concept of blogging to now occupy that 4 hours!

Eileen said...

I have someone just like that at the school I work at. I love her dearly, but try to avoid her in the halls or going by her classroom or I get trapped. I always feel like I get sucked right in, and I hate to be rude. I guess I am awful at setting limits. Lucky at school, we have bells....but afterschool....I get really stuck. Funny post, touched a nerve for sure.

melissa said...

lol-i think all of us have a person like that in our lives

jp said...

I think we all know that lady...

JMC said...

Everyone I meet is that lady. The lady in the waiting room, the cashier at the grocery store, even the drive-thru window guy (hello - I'm doing the drive-thru to SAVE time). I think I have a "please tell me every detail of the entire history of your life" tattoo on my forehead.

toners said...

She must have lots of relatives because I think I've met them in other workplaces :)

Heather said...

When I was still teaching we had a couple of those people on our staff. One scrapped with us and would tell all about the people in her pictures like we knew them! Now I fear I've become that person because when I get around people my own age I can't seem to shut up!

Rachael said...

LOL Yep, it seems as if there's one of those in everyone's life!!

Good post!

P.L. Frederick said...

Hi, Maureen! I finally caught up with my Rockin' Girl Blogger info. Catch it at Rock, Rock, Rockin' Girl Blogger. Thanks again for nominatin' me!

P.L. Frederick
SMALL & big

Lizard Princess said...

Perhaps when I get that old, I'll have that much to talk about!
Fun post- I like the soap opera analogy!!

Maureen said...

PL: You're very welcome and very deserved of the title!

Yeah, I guess we all have someone in our lives that fit this mold. She may have been a pain at times; but she was always the first to help anyone; even before they asked. A heart of gold, really.

Jill said...

So funny, just as I was thinking, HOW on Earth has she gotten like three blog posts done while I barely even got the one up that I did...just as I was thinking that, I got to the four extra hours in the day part - no **wonder**!!!!! Kidding!!!!

I hope she enjoys her retirement and finds a replacement ear right away!

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