Weekend Routine

Now don't get me wrong. I love my husband. Really I do.

But after 27 years of marriage, it's safe to say that our weekends have become something of a routine. Take Saturday mornings, for example.

Even though I try to sleep in on the weekends, the cats and dog have other ideas. So I am the first one up to feed the Zoo. I make the bed, let the dog out, empty the dishwasher, cook breakfast, then clean up and do the dishes again. Next comes laundry and the cleaning of litterboxes.

Meanwhile, during all this, hubby is where he usually is. Where he was all night, in fact. On the couch dozing and watching television at the same time.

Today, once I got everything I needed to do, done, I got ready to take daughter to the mall to do some shopping. Looking forward to some alone time, hubby glances away from the TV long enough to quip: "Have fun!"

"Yeah, you too. Have fun napping on the couch..." I retort.

Putting on his best indignant face, he acts hurt. "Hey, I have Places-To-Go too, you know."

"I know, dear. To the couch."

"I have Things-To-Do."

"Uh huh. Like every weekend, you'll fall back asleep."

He continues, as if he never even hears me. "People-To-See."

"Yeah, Seinfeld and Friends." I add.

"Decisions-To-Be-Made" he tries.

"Yup. Like which side should I sleep on today? The right, or the left?"

He finally gives up.

Then he asks me to kennel the kitten while we are out so she wouldn't bother him while he's napping.

I flat out refuse.

"Hey! Whose comfort are you more concerned about, anyway?" he pouts.

"Don't be silly dear." I reassure him.

And as I leave the house, I mutter,

"HER'S of course..."

Tawnee on the couch

11 People would rather be commenting:

Rachael said...

LOL This story sounds very familiar, except it is only 8 years of marriage here. Never gets better, huh?

Irene said...

Bad lazy husband needs to be kenneled himself! Nightly!

Ed & Jeanne said...

I don't you can appreciate the years of practice and dedication it takes for a husband to get truly lazy! It's a zen thing...

Bonita Rose said...

lol I can soooo relate.. lol it must be a male thing.

Jill said...

I've got to get off that dating site right NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kidding!!!!!!!!! I'm sure husbands are perfectly useful...somehow...

"On the couch dozing and watching television at the same time." Man, if I could just master this act, I wouldn't be so lost in the lunch room conversations all the time...

Cupcake Blonde said...

That kitten is still adorable..how ever could he wish to kennel her? That kind of sweetness needs to be out and enable to love!

I am ashamed to admit this but in my house it is sometimes the reverse. I have been just so drained and worn out from work lately that my husband has a hard time getting me off the couch. But it is not all the time and he is very understanding and cleans without being told. I think I married a god.

Maureen said...

Rachel: No, sorry to say, it doesn't...

Heh, Heh, Sweet Irene: Actually, I cut him some slack on the weekends; he works hard at a steel factory all week, where I simply play, er work on computers at my job. It's the fact he pretends he does all kinds of things on the weekends that we laugh about...

VE & BonnieRose: Yup, men truely have this down to an art form alright... at least mine does.

Jill: I would warn you, but you've been married before, so... well, you know what you're getting into.

VP: This is why I don't get mad at his slacking on the weekends. He's dog tired and I can do what I want at home, really. As long as he helps out when I specifically ask / need him, I don't mind, really. And he does.

And, yes you are married to a God. Whereas I am married to a Dog - he does what I tell him, most of the time.

Janet said...

Hey, Maureen...What's my DH doing at your house? Your description suits him perfectly!! Janet

Marlee said...

OMG...I don;t think I want to marry now! LOL! Like, u reiterated...it can never get any better :-|

Jill said...

Oh NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO not getting into that again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just went on the dating site to...well...now why did I sign up for the dating site again?!?!?!

Canadian flake said...

lmao I am sorry but this is wayyyyyyyy too funny...is it ok that I am giggling?? LOL

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