Ring - Ring

Unless I am home alone, I rarely even answer our phone anymore. Why should I bother? It's never for me.... unless it's Columbia House that is.

Actually, there are two main reasons for my being an un-person, as far as communcation devices go:

1) A teenager of the female-persuasion lives here. And anyone who has had a 16 year old daughter knows I speak the truth when I say that 99.99999999% of incoming calls are inevitably for her.... the only reason you should even attempt to answer the phone is if she is otherwise predisposed in the bathroom shower. Then you are relegated to taking messages of the utmost importance. Which, if you didn't know already, is the reason why you were put on this Earth.

2) On the odd occasion when I DO answer the telephone, it's probably someone trying to reach our local Home Depot.

You see, when the phone company was setting us up twenty years ago, they let me choose the last four digits for our phone number. Since I was SO clever, I chose a number I thought hubby could remember -- a simple series that made it sound like a lyric; it literally trips off the tongue. (Yes, in fact I HAVE had problems with hubby and phone numbers in the past, but that's a whole other post in the making....)

Then a few years ago it happened.

Home Depot Guy - not hubbyHome Depot opened up nearby.

After a few dozen wrong numbers, we slowly figured out their number was only one digit different from ours. Soon we became tempted to simply start answering the phone "Home Depot, which department would you like?" One caller misdialed so often, we nearly told him the item he wanted was deepy discounted; but if he needed it, we would hold the last one for him for 30 minutes.

I could just picture the jerk frantically trying to get to the store in time...

But I digress. Sometimes I just want to disconnect the home phone and rely totally on our cells.

But that would mean giving up my really cool home number.

Not to mention the lost entertainment value of torturing idiotic Home Depot customers.

14 People would rather be commenting:

Janet said...

Got a teenage DD living here so I can totally relate. You're doing better than me, though, as I'm not even allowed to answer the phone most of the time out of fear that I might say something embarrassing (like that bathroom thing)... jp

Irene said...

And then people become so indignant because you aren't Home Depot, right?

Stephanie said...

I have the same problem. Our # is listed in several phonebooks as a manufacturing place. I get wrong #'s all of the time. One lady actally got mad at me because, I didn't have the correct # for her. Now I don't answer the phone all of the time. They can talk to my voicemail.

Teresa Loop said...

Your post is hilarious! You are so right though!

Oh, and I had a fax machine dial my phone number every night for MONTHS, until I finally got the phone company to trace it and get in touch with the company who had mistaken programmed my number into their fax.......

KarenSue said...

Oh, we were one number off from a pizza parlor, but luckily I knew their number and could give it to people.

and teenage daughter..yikes!
I mean, aren't they the best!!!

Lynn said...

Ahhh teenagers... I've been there with my dd! She would get mad because I would question the boys that would call!lol. I even had one boy that I would just hang up on because of the way he basically asked for dd. I don't hold back. Lets just say after a few times... he learned.

Jill said...

Wow so the typical home depot customer isn't that much better off than...oh never mind. Let's just say I've had some rotten experiences when it comes to getting advice from home depot employees.

toners said...

Great post!! Our DD is almost 11...so we have all this fun ahead of us!

Stacey said...

Right...why would you want to change...especially when torturing the customers could be soooo much fun.

Cupcake Blonde said...

Ha! We have the same problem except our number is one number off a low income housing facility (and actually on several online sites our number is listed as their number.) After Hurricane Katrina we received so many phone calls of people being relocated to our area that I had to call the complex, the local government and then FEMA itself who was plastering our phone number on flyers all over Lousiana and Texas to get the madness to stop because they called ALL THE TIME AT ALL HOURS. And we are not nice people in the early morning. Now we get maybe one call every two months. I guess it will never be fully fixed. But I do know when we move we are not keeping this number.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for leaving me a comment over at my place.

This post cracked me up. I NEVER answer my phone - gotta love call display. And I don't even have a Home Depot phone number.

Bonita Rose said...

lol that's hilarious.. lol keep the phone, cheap entertainment.. lol

Melissa said...

lol at the home depot # problem, that must be such a pain. especially with idiots that dial the same # over and over even when you tell them it is the WRONG number the first time they call...I hate that.

Maureen said...

Sounds like there are a LOT of wrong numbers out there. I don't mind the ones that are nice; heck, in fact one fellow the other day went on and on like he wanted to talk even though we didn't have any idea who each other was... he was very polite and we both laughed.

I must say my dilemma doesn't compare to a FAX signal (reminds me of a Seinfeld episode) or the wrong number from FEMA.... wow....

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