And Now I Present ...

A Day In My Life
Another day dawns.

The radio alarm jolts me from my dreams.

I slowly open my eyes and bid the three cats sitting on my chest a cheery "Good Morning!"

"Feed us." They stare back, inches from my face.


Reluctantly I swing my legs over the side of the waterbed and pull myself from its warm caress.

Oh well, La-De-Dah.

At least I got to sleep in today, for I have a doctor's appointment to get a refill on my Asthma meds.

After tending to the Zoo, letting the dog out and getting showered, the calm of the morning is broken when a full out turf war erupts between the furballs.

It seems the three felines have formed a Gang and decided the dog is from a rival faction. I didn't know what to expect when I follow the blood curdling yowls to my bedroom. What I did find was one, then two, then three cats calmly sashaying out from the cubbyhole behind my waterbed. The dog is nowhere to be found.

"Oh, Crap! I don't have time for this..." I think as I begin the hunt for her.

But as soon as the coast was clear, the big sissy crawls out from that very same space and hides behind my legs. Thankfully, there are no injuries on either side of the skirmish.

Attempting to prepare for my doctor's appointment without tripping over the dog, I choose lightweight clothing, sans jewellry and skip breakfast -- I'll try anything to avoid the gasps of horror from the nurse and a stern lecture from the Doc when I step on their scale.

But when I'm finally called, I'm delighted to be taken straight to the exam room.

Right past the evil and highly embarrasing Weigh In Station.

"Oh Crap!" I think to myself. "I could have eaten brekkie after all..."

"...and worn a sweater and my watch."

Prescription in hand, me and my grumbling stomach get out of there about noon.

It takes forever to get in to work, stuck behind all the daytime drivers who won't go any faster than 30 Km/hour.

"Oh Crap!" I have a lot of assignments to get done today.

When I finally arrive, I soon discover that the network is down. All the jobs I had planned required access to offsite servers. Of course.

"Oh Crap!" I'm so glad I wasted my evening doing all that prepartory work at home last night.

Thankfully the afternoon passes quickly and soon it's quittin' time.

And that's when I look down to discover I've been walking around all day with my fly unzipped.

"Oh Crap!"

Just the perfect ending to a Crappy Day.

15 People would rather be commenting:

Cupcake Blonde said...

Sounds like the story of my life. Strung together in a long unforgiving thread of misery. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to smirk. Really.

It is *not* funny when it's happening. But I loved the image of the cats going "West Side Story" on the dog. I imagine the cats standing on their back legs and snapping their fingers taunting a 120-pound dog into submission.

Anonymous said...

Oh girl ... you crack me up. No brekkie? Now THERE'S the tragedy ... LOL! And I know exactly what you mean, luv, when it comes to the evil weighing machine ... bleh!

Phoenix5 said...

"Oh Crap!" That was a funny story! At least you ladies don't have to worry about anything poking out when you leave your fly undone!

Thanks for such an entertaining narration of your day! (I was almost expecting to read that your cats had gone ape on your waterbed...)

Jill said...

Oops! Oh well...happens to everyone...

Phoenix5 - now there's one blessing I never thought to count!

Irene said...

Luckily, you didn't have anything dangling there, did you?

Maureen said...

VP: Yeah, days like that I prefer to forget. That, or write down for he entire world to read, so I'll never forget!

Cardiogirl: Hah! Yeah, I'm going to have to make them matching little leather jackets, I think. I really had to laugh out loud when I saw it. Poor dog, being triple-teamed; she is scared of just ONE cat, nevermind three. And they cornered her too. Luckily, it was mostly noise and not physical damage to either side of the Gangs.

Lady Banana: I was so embarassed, yes. And then I had to replay the day in my head to try to figure out who I "flashed"... maybe no one noticed; I wish someone would have said something if they did, though...

Jenny: Heh! Thanks! I go back to the Docs in June... which means I need to starve myself to try to get down a few pounds; I KNOW they will be weighing me that time!

Phoenix5: Oh Crap! Thanks! This is true; nothing hung out... :) Yeah, at least the rumble happened BEHIND the waterbed, not ON TOP of it.

Jill: I guess so... still embarassing though.

Sweet Irene: No, nothing dangling, thank goodness! So it could have been worse, I guess!

Bruce Johnson said...

Crappy Day? This happens to be every Monday.....(the open fly thing). My co-workers have come to expect it....that is how they know it is Monday. They always refer new folks to me as "the guy with the open fly" can't miss him.

(regarding the laserdiscs, I have two players, one for watching on the HDTV and one for digitizing on my iMac. If you hunt around thrift stores you can still find the players pretty cheap, found the last one on Craig's List for $20 (it was still new in the box). I am still hunting around for the Star Wars Boxed set on Laserdisc (the special editions with a hard cover documentary book all bound in a hard cover case), but they want too much for them on ebay when they come up, they usually go for around $40 + postage.)

Aimeslee Winans said...

Well, hope your evening was better, at least!

Momo Fali said...

I'd take the unzipped fly all day long, if it meant I could somehow skip the scale! How'd you manage that? And, I cracked up at you saying you wear lightweight clothes, because that's exactly what I do. I suppose a lot of us do it, and the nurses probably laugh at us behind our backs. Shoot. Thought I had a good thing going there.

Ed & Jeanne said...

Three cats in a water bed? That doesn't sound like a good combination...

Maureen said...

Lotus07 (or "The Guy with the Open Fly")... hmmmm. What kind of work do you DO anyway???

Aimeslee: Yeah, the evening was better... it couldn't have gotten worse!

Momo Fali: You mean I didn't invent the whole "lightweight clothing" thing??? Rats!

VE: Luckiy it was three cats BEHIND the waterbed... although I keep about five layers of covers on it to keep it from being pierced by sharp claws.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Oh my, I didn't see that one coming!

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

Hopefully you were wearing exciting underwear at least??

Janet said...

Oh, dearie! Not laughing at you....just laughing with you! It's surely happened to all of us at one point or another. As for me, I've gone in public with butterfly barrettes in my hair, stickers on my shirt, shirt inside out, and two different shoes.

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