Five Tips For Humour Bloggers

Dammit.

I was tagged "challenged" by Jeff at View From The Cloud who was, in turn cajoled by Brent at The Ominous Comma to:

"Write a funny post that includes an actual and helpful technical blogging tip or educational material helpful to new bloggers."

Crap. Er, I mean, I was honored to be one of a chosen five to participate.

Now I have to admit, I didn't start out as a humour blogger. In fact, I was simply attempting to accurately portray my life in an online journal. It just turned out that people laughed at me. A lot. So to save face and just a tiny speck of my dignity, I tell people I meant to be funny all along.

And they believed me.

So, here you go. The Official*:


Handy Dandy Tool Tips For, But Not Limited To, Future Humour Bloggers™
*Official in my mind only


Stupid expensive recorder thingy1) Shell out $ 50 for a digital recorder that:

- You will never truely figure out how to use
- You will forget to bring along with you anywhere
- You will in fact, therefore only use once




Just a few I found today2) Buy a small journal to write ideas down in that:

- You will forget somewhere
- You will therefore buy each time you are at the stationery store
- You will repeat numerous times until you have one in every frickin' room in your home AND one or more for your car


3) Use your digital camera to take a bajillion photos for a single blog post. Proceed to:

- Go crazy trying to choose just one
- Spend days photoshopping it until it is perfect
- Forget what the damn post was about in the first place
- Resign to placing photo in your draft posts folder under a totally inane and non-descriptive title like "Images"


High Tech indeed4) Make sure that whenever inspiration hits at work, to write it down on Post-It Notes©. Then:

- Stick Post-Its into your Palm Pilot© (What? Isn't that the way to keep data in a Palm©?)
- Totally embarass yourself at the next staff meeting when all your little notes about co-workers' idiosyncrasies spill out onto the conference table for everyone to read.


Chicken scratches5) Your BEST ideas will invariably pop into your head just as you are drifting off to sleep. Therefore:

- Write them down in one of the many journals you have recently relocated.
- Pray to the Gods that you'll be able to decipher those chicken scratches you thought were absolutely hilarious the night before.



Hopefully these Handy Dandy Tool Tips For, But Not Limited To, Future Humour Bloggers™ will ensure that in no time people will be laughing at you, too.

Whether you want them to or not.



And to save myself future hate mail and/or death threats, I'll just leave this open for any humour blogger to participate in if they are insane enough wish to.


28 People would rather be commenting:

Jeff said...

Excellent! This is hysterical. I love the sticking your notes to your Palm Pilot thing and then having them fall out. That's SO... real!

And the My Pictures folder on my computer currently has 1.5GB worth of photos, clip art and screen shot chucks of various-named images I can never find without paging through the folder for about 1/2 hour each time. Naming convention? Not this guy!

VE said...

I can just see the stares as you record bizarre things into your digital recorder. Ok, well I would be recording bizzarre things. I know about the picture dilema. I have a bazillion of them too. But I script out my posts on my word processor by writing them and where I want a picture I just put (insert wackypic) and that way I know which photos to get and in which order. Then I just cut and paste the text around the photos and I'm done. I got tagged for this nonsense too. Mine will be posted tomorrow. I'm still on the run from Oprah today...

Brent Diggs said...

Excellent work. I have dust covered voice recorder full of unwritten ideas and several notebooks full of what I'm sure would be award-wining material if I could only find them.

I end writing on my hand. A lot.

Brent Diggs said...

And committing typos against humanity as well.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Without a doubt and excellent reference.

So you mean to tell me that te file in your pictures folder labeled img21287.jpeg does not adequately indicate what that picture might be?

Ed (zoesdad) said...

That should read--an excellent reference.

Sorry.

Mylhibug said...

Jeff said it right, excellent post and I am so with you and the journals. EVERY time we clean out some part of our cramped little house, a journal will show up - with maybe one entry in it.

I think I'll have to look into those digital voice recorder thingy's. :)

lotus07 said...

This is so creepy, since I have actually done ALL of these things. But now I just learn to jot things down on paper and then write them down in my Google Documents file for later 'refinement'. Can work on them anywhere anytime I have internet access. Gawd, I have some old ideas in there that I have never flushed out.....I need to get cracking.

Kathy said...

I have a thousand pictures that were/are inspiration for blog posts. But can I remember where they are? Um. No. I have three computers I routinely use, and all of them have pictures on them. Some of the pictures are from a camera phone, some from my own camera, and some from my office camera, and all saved in different places, some in folders called July or Pictures or Wednesday. Very helpful, I'm sure. I think we have the same system, and we're doing OK, so it must work, right?

Excellent post!

Drowsey Monkey said...

Well, that's embarrassing. You're just writing an online journal and he thinks its humourous! LOL Woops!

All great tips :)

Duck said...

Ohhhh No. 2. I have an addiction to cute little notebooks. I have tons of them. And other than my name? Are completely empty.

Maybe they'll make good gum wrappers.

LceeL said...

Thank the Goddess I'm not funny.

gwadzilla said...

great tips!

I have always wanted to get a digital recorder that I forget to bring with me

Babs (Beetle) said...

Now that was informative! I usually lay in bed and have a brilliant post running through my head, never dream of writing it down, assuming I will remember it all clearly the next day. Of course I forget that I even had an idea, let alone what it was about. Can you tell that I am quite new to this? ;O)

By the way. I love your Voki. You can check mine out if you wish.

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

This is excellent advice. I would hate to be labeled a humor blogger, because then I would feel pressure to be funny all the time. I admire your talent!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

If I don't write something down at the very moment I think it, I know I'll forget. Especially if the thought, "Oh I'll remember that!" goes running through my head. Then I KNOW for CERTAIN I'll forget. So I better run out & buy that digital recorder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Funny post! :-) (I do always have a "purse notebook" though.)

JD at I Do Things said...

HA! Great post! I love that you didn't start out as an intentionally funny writer. Well, sometimes you just gotta roll with the flow.

I was tagged by Jeff, too, and deliberately didn't read any of the other Tips Posts until I wrote mine. I didn't want to accidentally steal anything OR find out that I'd chosen some of the same topics as others, as, indeed, I did, but you put such a unique spin on yours, I think there's room for both of us.

Well done!

JD at I Do Things so you don't have to

Teena in Toronto said...

Good job!

Happy blogversary!

Blog Bloke said...

Count yourself lucky Maureen that you only paid $50 bucks for your recorder. I paid double but at least I've used it more than once. And yes, I do forget to bring it with me most of the time.

Regarding the bedside journal, by the time I grab a pen ... poof the idea is gone. Must be that Alzheimer's thing.

Great post sweety!

Ricardo Bueno said...

Well there's certainly no lack of humor here! You had me rofl; literally, "rolling on the floor laughing!"

:-)

Anyway, glad to find a blogger with a sense of humor like yours. My reader needed this to add to the mix. Read you later...

Maureen said...

Oh, crap. I haven’t answered ONE of you yet??? Bad me. I need to find a hack to answer each of you at the end of every comment; then these responses will make so much more sense. And save everyone all the damn scrolling.

Either that, or answer in a more timely fashion...


Jeff: Aw, thanks. Yeah. I will say because of my rampant OCD, I do organize my digital camera photos by date, each month in it’s own folder, then each year in it's own folder. But that doesn’t help me when I want to find "that picture I took of ...". Although Picassa does help visibly scan through them all pretty quickly.

VE: Ha! YOU would be the one getting the stares, with what comes out of your head! Little ol’ me? I would more likely bore people to tears listening to my stupid voice on that thing. Hope Oprah hasn’t caught up with ya yet.

Brent: Well, no, thank YOU! You’re the one who came up with the idea; I simply added my 5 cents. Oh, and I would never comment on typos. If you only knew how many dang times I edit my posts. Both before and after (dammit, another mistake!) I publish.

Thanks Ed! I know! You’d think they’d come up with a camera that automatically asks you what you want to name the photo and store it that way - sheesh. Come on people!

Mylhibug: I do love journals. I even use one at work. And yesterday I had TWO people tell me what a cute little book I was using at a meeting, while they were trying to balance those big looseleaf folder thingys on their lap.

Lotus07: Ha! Two birds of the same feather, eh? I have yet to discover Google documents; sounds like a great idea! Now I have to check it out. L8R...

Kathy: I know! I have stuff on two of those little USB flash drives I cart from one computer to another; Ends up I have 4 copies of everything, cause I don’t want to accidentally erase anything brilliant. *cough*. And yes, we are doing OK alright.

Drowsey Monkey: Very true. I guess I accidentally found my "voice" they all write about.

Duck: Ha! I have one that is still empty. Hey! I should AT LEAST go put my name in it! Thanks!

Iceel: Oh, but au contraire. You is.

Gwadzilla: Thanks! Good luck wasting your money!!!

Babs: Hey! I finally got my butt over to your blog! Great stuff and LURRRVE your Voki! Music? What the heck? You are far too creative ... and I love your accent.

Half-Past Kissin’ Time: Hey Cre8Buzzer! Thanks for stopping by! I do have to get back to the Buzz and do some stuff over there too.

Jill: Me too. If it’s not written down, Poof! Gone. Like last night. After my head hit the pillow, I thought of something to write. Do you think I can remember it this morning? Nope. And I was too lazy to get up and write it down. Dang. I have to get a sharpie and start writing on my hand or something.

JD: How true, roll with the flow, or punches, as it were. I loved your take on the tag, er "challenge" too. I literally went to bed that night after I read Jeff's post, started getting ideas and had to get up and began writing furiously. I don’t think I've written a post faster than this one.

Teena: Aw, thank you Torontonian! Thanks for stopping by!

Blog Bloke: Long time! I do need to get over to your place again. Bad me. Yeah, $50 wasn’t the cheapest, but it was by far not the most expensive. Thanks so much, BB. I’ll head over to your blog again soon.

Ricardo: Welcome and thank you so much! Great to meet someone new too. I’ll have to reciprocate and check out your place too!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh that was fabulous advice hee hee. I have about a million little cute notepads and scraps of paper with a few scrawled words that sometimes mean nothing, eve when they're not the 'just going to bed' ones. :D

Peggy Sez.. said...

That was excellent! Now lets do one where you show how to swipe other peoples toons/jokes and put them on your blog..I win! ;p

LadyBanana said...

Great post and of course there is a little in it for all of us!

I can have a great idea for a post but even the waiting for the computer to turn on is long enough for me to forget what it was..

Vegas Princess said...

I have to laugh because although I don't consider myself a humor blogger I have done every single one of these things with the exception of the Palm Pilot one. I stick them in my pocket instead and then when I go to get one out they all flutter around me for others to pick up and read.

Karen Zemek, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

You are funny! I just found your blog and have marked it as a favorite! I am glad I don't have notes everywhere yet but I can relate to the photo issue!

Maureen said...

Jo: :D Thanks. Whew, glad to hear I’m not the only one!!!

PeggySez: Ha! I see what you mean!!!

Lady Banana: Aw, thank you. Ha! I know what you mean... if I don’t write it down right away, I forget it. I don’t know how many times I have kicked myself for forgetting post ideas... (I don’t know, because I forgot!)

Vegas Princess: Har! Isn’t that just the most embarrassing thing? Of course, I don’t want co-workers finding this thing.

Karen: Aw, thank you, you’re too kind. Yes, with digital cameras, we can click away, but then choosing becomes a nightmare!

bharath said...

im frm a place whr bloggin is juz sproutin...i donno when da sprouts actually sprout( i guess if we keep dem in water, by early mornin)...but my people think bloggin is a waste of tym......wat al i lyked is ur headline" ID RATHER BE BLOGGIN".....U R LIKE A SMALL OASIS IN DIS DESERT OF BLOGGIN....SOMEDAY I LL B DA PALM TREE.....ask me if u wan any dry fruits.....ofcorse i do ask u for a few of dem(i mean tips about good bloggin mam).....bye...tc

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