Closet Geek

I have skeletons in my closet.

Scratch that.

I HAD skeletons in my closet.

Last weekend I purged the buggars out. No seance, chanting or Ouija boards necessary.

Just two huge green garbage bags.

Thanks to my teenage daughter, I have been forced, kicking and screaming gradually updated my fashion style to a somewhat acceptable version of this millennium's look. However, I will openly admit that during this transformation, I refused to relinquish evidence of past fad faux pas; unwilling to rid myself of the disco ghosts of the 1970s and 80s.

But no more.

Gone are the glitsy dresses.

Bye bye satin tops with puffy sleeves!

Sayonara padded shoulders!

But the worst,

absolute worst thing I found stealthly hidden from plain view, tucked away from the light of day ...

... the most horrifying discovery of all.

Not one, but six.

Six pairs of suspenders.

Yup. You read that right.

Suspenders

Pink, grey, red, black, yellow and.... *choke*

RAINBOW.

It's like I stepped out of "Godspell".

(Hey, that was a groovy movie!)



Oh, Gad.

This is more embarassing than ...

well, than anything I have yet confessed here. (Yes, YET).

The only thing saving me from complete humiliation? I couldn't find ANY photos of me wearing these. Hallelujah! A miracle in itself.

So what, dare you ask, did I do with those suspenders?

Throw them out? Hell no.

They're now stored with our Halloween costumes.

Along with my Superman shirt and striped pants.

"Day by day....

Day by day..."








You know what else would be Groovy?
A couple of Smilies...

34 People would rather be commenting:

Janet said...

Oh, my!! Having been forced to clean out my own closet (by my own teenage DD), I can feel your pain. But Maureen, I can understand one or two pairs of these stylish suspenders, but why six? Fear of an epic suspender failure?? lol

Maureen said...

Janet: So I would have a pair that matched each and every color I was wearing.... oh wait. Oh, yeah. The Rainbow ones would have done that.... Gad I have no idea....

toners said...

ROFL! Especially at the fact that you had 6 pairs of these trendsetters!! :) Awesome post!

JoJo said...

Well whenever I see rainbow suspenders I think of Mork from Ork.....

Fashion? What does it mean fashion? I am still wearing my Grateful Dead tie dyes and Jerry's been dead for over 13 years.

VE said...

Bwahahaha. You crack me up. Suspenders remind me of Mork (from Ork). Scary stuff that is. I find it more scary that you had those striped pants too. You and Jeff should do an Embarassment Tour. You with this stuff and he with his journal. I'd buy a ticket!

Swubird said...

Suspenders? I'm about a thousand years old and I didn't even know that women wore suspenders. That is, of course, unless they appeared in an old Woody Allen movie (the women - not the suspenders). So, I've just been here ninety seconds and already you've taught me something. Bravo.

Happy trails.

Babs (Beetle) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Babs (Beetle) said...

Oops, sorry about that.

Oh I love it! Nooooo don't throw them out! All that stuff is back in fashion now - at least in the UK. 60's, 70's and 80's. You might get a good price on Ebay ;O)

We call them 'Braces'. Suspenders are an undergarment that holds our stockings up!

leigh said...

hey hey hey!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Babs already said what I was going to say about the braces and suspenders thing. I bet you looked very, erm, groovy though. :D

lotus07 said...

Wow, suspenders......I had some of those...but I chucked mine in the last century. The came into vogue Robin Williams was doing Mork and Mindy and died with the advent of the 80s. You are only 28 years behind the times. They might be worth a lot on ebay?

Maureen said...

Toners: Hah! Thanks!

JoJo: Mork! How the heck could I have forgotten THAT suspender-wearing guy??? Oh, and tie dyes are awesome...

VE; I'll have to check with Jeff... maybe we could find a psychadelic school bus to tour in....

Swubird: Oh yes. I wore suspenders AND ties... just call me Annie Hall.

Babs: Ha! Braces??? So THAT'S why those British guys would snigger when I told them I wore suspenders.

Leigh: Hey backatcha!

Jo: Erm.... thank you. I WAS groovy. Still am, I believe.

Lotus07: But remember, all things come back sooner or later... I think it's high time for the "suspender look" once more... No???

Jay said...

See, that's exactly what I tend to do. I sort through my stuff, gasp with horror at what I've been keeping all these years, decide to throw it out, then re-evaluate and pop it in somewhere else, for a different purpose.

*Sigh*

I'm destined to move my stuff around for eternity, never getting anywhere. Move over, Sisyphus!

Vegas Princess said...

I always wondered why us girls wore suspenders. They never fit around the boobs quite right. At least mine didn't.

Jeff said...

Aw yes, the ever popular shoulder pads! I once dated a girl who was a fashion model by night and a linebacker by day. I always felt safe that she could block for me if necessary.

And VE... keep me out of this!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Those rainbow suspenders remind me of Mork & Mindy! Too funny!

Fancy Schmancy said...

and, JoJo, Jerry will never truly be dead to those of us who still believe...

Tara R. said...

I did the same thing a couple of weeks ago... found clothes I had in college ~ back in the 80s! Putting the suspenders in the costume collection sounds like a good idea.

Maureen said...

Jay: I have been so good lately; I was chucking stuff out to either the garbage or Goodwill left and right. I did get two garbage bags full of clothes and shoes from the closet for Goodwill, but the suspenders I just couldn’t part with. At least they don’t take up too much room.

Vegas Princess: Sure. Boast. Sad to say, suspenders fit me just fine ;)

Jeff: Ha! Yeah, I DID feel pretty powerful in those jackets… What? No psychedelic school bus? Waaahh!

Fancy Schmancy: I really should have posted a picture of Mork. Geez.

Tara: Oh thank the Gods! Someone else like me! (my condolences).

Chat Blanc said...

The suspenders remind me of Mork and Mindy too! ;)

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Woah baby!

Actually, I would love suspenders for the dramatic play area of my preschool room. That would be fun!

My closet stays pretty bare. If I haven't worn something in a year, out it goes. In fact, sometimes I give it less than a year. In fact, sometimes I throw things away while I'm still using them...

Virtual Voyage said...

Great post...I've just been reading stuff on hoarding (to deal with mine)
You aren't predominantly right brained by any chance??

Swubird said...

Maureen:

I am adding you to my list of Swubird's Friends.

Happy trails.

Irene said...

Maureen, you really are a hoarder. You hold on to everything. You must have a big sentimental heart. I am the toss out girl. I could come over to you house and have a good old toss out. I might be painful for you, but oh so liberating.

Maureen said...

Chat Blanc: Ha! It sounds like we are all from that same generation...

Jill: You sound like my daughter. I swear she has thrown/given away clothes she hasn't even worn yet.

Virtual Voyage: Don't know... which is the artistic side? Cause I love to draw and paint... is that right-sided?? Aw, heck, now I have to look it up...

Aw, Swubird, thank you! And I have added your fine blog to my blogroll as well! I love your tales; you have a great knack of bringing your reader right into your stories.

Irene: I do find it hard to throw stuff out. But recently I have been purging quite a bit. There are just a few things I can't let go of.... yes, sentimental me for sure!

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Maureen, thank you for visiting my blog and leaving me a birthday wish.

I enjoyed reading your closet story. I used to have red and black suspenders. They're probably still in a drawer somewhere.

LadyBanana said...

Hahaha, when you said suspenders I thought you meant those that hold up stockings, the sexy type ;)

When I saw your suspenders I see they are what we call braces! LOL

Jay said...

I just tagged you! Go see - you might like it! ;)

Karen MEG said...

I was going to suggest you hang onto them for halloween purposes... you smart lady you.

And yes, I am a freakin' pack rat too ;)

Maureen said...

Ruth: You are very welcome! Glad I found your blog... I shall return (especially since you were a suspender-wearing person too ;) )

Lady Banana: Obivously I need an English-Canadian to English-British translator program. Come to think of it, I shoud probably install the ever-handy Canuck to American slang option as well... whoda thunk "English" could be misconstrued in so many ways?

Jay: Oh noes... I shall take a looksee... ;)

KarenMeg: Ha! Glad to hear someone else thinks like me (my condolences for that, BTW).

Ann(ie) said...

Been there recently....what I hung on to was just frightening!!!! =/ I've blocked it out.

PG said...

good stuff. I wonder how hard you looked for a photo of yourself in those suspenders.

Hmmmmm, I am guessing you didn't break much of a sweat.

Maureen said...

Ann(ie): Har!!! Now I need to get hubby to do the same... polyester, here we come!

PG: Hey! (how the heck did you KNOW???)

jim said...

These shirts are very old and do not look good. go shopping today and tommorrow.

rate my sexy dance

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Yeah, I should be doing laundry, yardwork, cleaning the house or planning meals. But frankly, I'D RATHER BE BLOGGING... about things like this.

Wanna know more?
Click the "About Me" tab above.

Wanna read more?
Click below for the Archives.


Subscribers

Subscribe in a Reader

Subscribe in a reader

Or enter your email address:


MY ART BLOG:



Alltop