Overheard

My office is right next door to the Staff Room. Handy yes, but the only time I go in there is when I need to wash out my coffee cup or heat up some lunch. I prefer to eat in calm of my office, because it's just too damn noisy in there.

Most times it's packed with people yakking about union politics, work frustrations or the latest fad diet. The only down side to my self-imposed seclusion is that I miss the odd great story from nurses who used to work on the wards. Often I'll arrive in the middle of tragedies, successes or purely hilarious tales.

I recently caught this narrative already in progress, whilst microwaving a frozen muffin:



So, the lady was dying and the son had accepted the fact. He approved the visit of a few of his mother's churchmates who showed up as a group late one evening. They stormed across the ward without checking in to the nursing desk and burst into her room. Unfortunately, they were minutes too late.

But that didn't matter to them. At full volume, waking the rest of the patients in the wing, we could hear:

"Clara! Clara Fisher! We command you to return to your body!"

"Clara!!!!"

Lights snapped on all over the ward as they continued for some time, ordering the poor woman who was now in the Great Beyond.

The son, who had had enough, stayed out of their way at the nursing desk. After some time, the elderly ladies finally resigned themselves that she was not in fact, returning and began to pack up their religous accoutrements.

"I'm sorry, I guess it didn't work" the nurse sympathetically told the son.

"I'm not surprised" he sighed.

"Her name is Barbara."



* Of course, I changed the real name of the patient

25 People would rather be commenting:

Tony Single said...

Yikes. I don't think I'd be commanding dead people to be coming back, zombie style. That'd be just a little... well, freaky! :(

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Oh, Maureen. Thank you so much for that laugh. Needed it in the worst way.

Jeff said...

Too funny. Nothing that exciting ever happens at my job.

Ashley said...

that is a genuine LOL right there. too funny!

Chat Blanc said...

hahahaha! precious!

Babs (Beetle) said...

First I thought, For goodness sakes! That's the sort of thing that give Christians a bad name! The I read the last line and laughed. I'm sorry but I would have to have told them they used the wrong name ha ha!

Pyzahn said...

Maybe Clara was her spirit name. Honestly, what would they have done if the poor lady bolted up in her bed. Call the orderlies for diaper patrol.

I just stumbled into your blog for the first time. And I gotta say thanks...I needed a good laugh.

Swubird said...

Maureen:

That's a fantastic story. It's hard to make up stuff as wonderful as people say everyday completely on their own. I love it.

Great catch.

Happy trails.

JoJo said...

Izzat a REAL story? B/c it's got a great punchline!!!!

Bruce said...

It is little things like this that make life worth living......well, that is, except for Barbara......

Me-Me King said...

I actually LOL'ed...great story!

HumorSmith said...

The power of religion never ceases to amaze me.

Maureen said...

Tony: Ha! How true!

Kathy: Aw, you're welcome. I hope your day got better.

Jeff: Well, yeah, I guess it's not every job that has people dying...

Ashley: I tell ya, when I heard it in the Staff Room, I was howling! I knew I HAD to pass the story on.

Chat Blanc: It was a good one; I guess now I have to spend more time in the Staff Room... dammit.

Babs: Yeah, I might have been tempted too. I never did find out what exact religion does this...

Pyzahn: Welcome and thank you! Yeah, can you imagine her getting up???? Holy crap!

Swubird: You are so correct. I could NEVER in a million years make this stuff up...

JoJo: Yup, real story. You'd be amazed at what goes on in a hospital. And not those fake ones on TV.

Bruce: Ha! Too true!

Me-Me King: I did too when I heard it the first time!

HumorSmith: Me either....

Venom said...

That is too funny - the true stories are often the funniest of all. ;-)

Ed said...

I think that's one of the only things I miss about working the the ER--the stories.

That is funny!

VE said...

Wonder what would have happened if they'd erroneously commanded somebody else to return to her body. I think you have a whole novel here...

You'll have to check out my pokemon story by-the-way...

Shawn said...

lol, nice. It surely would have worked otherwise. At least according to my Annotated Book of the Dead.

Jay said...

Hahaha! Didn't see the end of that one coming! LOL!

Vegas Princess said...

Ha! I just love all-knowing little old church ladies. They think their word is God, literally. :)

Maureen said...

Venom: How right you are...

Ed: Yeah, you must have heard some doozies.

VE: Hah! That DOES sound like a movie in the making... and I love your Pokemon game!

Har Shawn! I wonder if one of their accoutrements WAS the "Annotated Book of the Dead"?

Jay: Glad I could make you laugh!

Vegas Princess: That's for sure!!!

-=A.R.N.=- said...

That was a good one!
:D

P.s. nice blog you got there; first time visitor.

Maureen said...

-=A.R.N.=-: Well, thank you and welcome!!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Oh dear! Goodness, little wonder she didn't return from the dead.

Janet said...

That's hysterical. Can't believe it actually happened!

Maureen said...

Jill: Yeah, poor lady never had a chance... she was probably all "who the heck is Clara???? Call me!"

Janet: Yep, the truth is often stranger than fiction.

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