It Shouldn't Be This Difficult

KFC logo
"I'd like two Big Crunch sandwiches and a Fries Supreme please."

With a burst of static, the guy on the other end of the KFC drive-through speaker clicked on.

"TWO Big Crunch sandwiches, right?"

"Um, yep. Two."

"Regular or Spicy?"


"Sandwiches only or the meals?"

"Sandwiches only."

"And fries?"

Grrr... he was NOT listening.

"Yes, the Fries Supreme, please."

"Just one?"


"Is that all?"


"Anything to drink?"

Okay. I am getting pissed now.

"No thank you."

"Alright then. That's two regular Big Crunch sandwiches and a Fries Supreme. Right?"


"Yes please."

"Would you like anything for dessert?"


To myself, of course. Damn overly-polite Canadian manners was the only thing keeping me from strangling him when I finally reached that take-out window... if I ever got there, that is.

32 People would rather be commenting:

Irene said...

That's what I find so endearing about American drive thru's. It teaches you patience and good manners and how to smile when you get to the window. We are all one big happy country where everything is done very politely, that's the message.

BioniKat said...

Not just American but all drive thru's. There is usually a long queue of cars waiting and my patience overheats faster than my car.

Bart said...

I bet if you would whisper 'slobber all over my breasts and pound my hard' he wouldn't ask you to repeat.

Maybe you should try that next time, just to get his attention. Maybe then he'd get the order right the first time.

I used to work at a hamburger restaurant when I was a student. You can hear the customers loud and clearly, so it's more a question of paying attention and not goofing around with the blonde at the nearest cash registry.

Ed said...

I always try to be polite to the fast food guy--a lot of time can elapse from order to the pick-up window and I don't particularly care for spit or boogers in my burgers.

Anonymous said...

It was probably his first day. I got served by a waiter at an Indian restaurant last night. It was his first day.
Appetizers for two ended up being one single poppadom, and we had enough rice to feed Sudan for a month. Maybe we should have gone to KFC!

Shawn said...

Yeah...this happens pretty much every time I make the mistake of going through the drive thru. The best is when you lay out a whole big order...and then there's about 15 seconds of silence...and they come back on, "I'm sorry, what was that again?" WTF?? WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

DouglasDyer said...

Like most teenaged kids, he just couldn't get his rap going. He was probably trying to say something like "So, is one of those big crunches for your lucky husband or do you just have a (disturbing leer) big appetite?"

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Big crunch sandwiches and fries supreme eh? Sounds delicious! Can you get a side order of Lipitor with that?

Babs-beetle said...

Your food always sounds so nice. What's a big crunch sandwich? And don't spoil my illusion and say it's the lettuce :O)

Anonymous said...

I hate to say KFC has some of the worst service around. Col. Sanders is probably rolling in his grave.

Unknown said...

It is a no win situation. Too polite and we are unhappy, too rude and the same thing. I think we should just stay home.

Maureen said...

The Gossamer Woman: Patience, manners... evil plans hatching...

Momcat: Oh yeah. And after that long wait, you have to check and double-check that bag they shove at you. Because 9 times out of 10 it will be wrong.

Be.Bart: Ahahahahaha!!! I can just hear hubby when I get home: "So, honey where's my Big Crunch? Whaddya mean, the KFC guy is delivering it personally???

Ed: Exactly! I make it a habit NOT to piss off people handling my food...

Tiggy: Har! "enough rice to feed Sudan for a month". I think I've eaten there too... rice is a cheap filler.

Shawn: And when you roll up to the window, you see exactly WHY. They are attempting to take the next person's order whilst goofing around inside and not paying attention (as Bart so correctly confessed).

DouglasDyer: Haaaaa! *Shiver* I just got the willies thinking of that geeky kid with a "disturbing leer" on his face...

Jeff: Oh but I get my Lipitor for free... I work with Cardiologists and Cardiac Surgeons, remember? ;)

Babs: Not only lettuce! It's a big chicken breast deep fried with a crunchy coating, dressed with mayo on a bakery bun. It is good, but sinful. I usually can only eat half of one in one sitting (and save the rest as a cold sandwich for lunch the next day). The fries supreme are french fries covered with sour cream, green onions, ground beef and cheese. See? It's a good thing I work at a hospital.

Unfinished Rambler: You are absolutely correct. And yet I still go back again and again. It must be the "secret ingredient that makes you crave it fortnightly!" (a quote from the movie "So I Married An Axe Murderer).

Ettarose: But, but, but I only have HEALTHY food at home (damn teenage daughter and her lo-cal crap). ;)

hammy said...

I've only been to one drive thru in my life. I usually either dine out, or order in these days.

It simply didn't seem worth the trouble trying to grab their undivided attention. The one time I DID try this out, I got the wrong order... but I didn't feel like complaining or getting it corrected. I simply was too drained for another session of 'squeeze the order into his brain'

I sometimes wonder if he was actually this absent minded or whether he was just pretending so that he could frustrate the hell out of me.

Maybe that's just my paranoia talking....

Or is it?

viveca said...

What helps me at moments like this - besides deep breathing exercises! - is humble pie. Often I am the dumbest, most inconsiderate and spacey human being I have ever met.

When my husband is cut off by another driver he sees a "gleam" in the eye. When I'm cut off I see someone as lost, self-absorbed and overwhelmed as I can be!

I'm holding onto a tad of a grudge today and I am having to remind myself over and over that it is not "personal" it just is something that happened.

Hugs!!!! Take a break from drive through for the rest of the week!


Elan Morgan said...

You are being featured on Five Star Friday!

Unknown said...

I detest drive up windows and crackly speakers that haven't improved since Drive in Movie speakers. They never understand me and I certainly never understand them. Then when I "drive around" I inevitably think of something else but it's too late.

Bruce Johnson said...

I often test the simpletons that work in Fast Food only in hopes of finding the diamond in the rough. Whenever I go in for 'Fast Food', I alwyas order by number (they like it when you do that, less things to key in means less likelihood of a mistake). So I always say, "I'll have a #3 with coffee for 'here'".

All they hear is the #3 part. I am ALWAYS asked the follow up questions, "What do you want to drink", and "Is that for here or to go?".

I could train monkeys to do these jobs better than scum they fill these jobs with.

Momo Fali said...

I really think it's faster to go inside to get your fast food!

Mom said...

I feel your drive-thru pain! It's so convenient, but can be such a hassle at the same time.

So, these big crunch sandwiches...they any good?! :-)

Jay said...

He was probably texting his girlfriend while he took your order. ROFL!

Did he get the order right - that's the important question!

Cupcake Blonde said...

I know they are like robots and are supposed to ask you these things. But when I specifically say what I want and then they ask if I want a drink or dessert or a punch in the face I get really ticked off. Because I also know no one actually LISTENS any more.

Swubird said...


I understand perfectly. I wrote a post about my own experience at McD's. It was a nightmare.

Happy trails.

Jill said...

I think they must train them to try & sell you everything they have.

robkroese said...

I always used to take the retardation of the drive-thru guys as an indication that the economy wasn't doing that badly -- because apparently ANYBODY could get a job.

But now I think people are just getting dumber.

Wendy said...

The reason it takes so long to get through the drive-thru sometimes is because there are people like me up there arguing with the person over whether or not you can serve a large iced tea with a particular sandwich. I am not kidding. I ordered a meal deal thing at McD's with a large tea and they said they couldn't serve tea with that particular meal. I laughed because I thought they were kidding. They weren't. They said they could only serve it with certain sandwiches. Scary.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

We are too polite, aren't we? I hate the upselling too, but I never say a nasty word. Ever. Maybe I'll start...tomorrow...

Maureen said...

Hammy: Ahahaha! Paranoid? Why does everyone think I’m paranoid? ;) Great story!

Viveca: Well, that is a great way to look at it. I will also have to practice my deep breathing exercises…

Schmutzie: Wow! Thanks so much… what a great honor… you are too kind!!

Berry Blog: Har! Drive in movie speakers are probably recycled to the local KFCs. It’s the only logical explanation.

Bruce: Yeah, numbers… but a Big Crunch is KFC, the fries are Taco Bell. Still the same restaurant, but from two different menus. Yes. I DO have to be complicated!

Momo Fali: You are probably right. Although whenever I pull up, I have to smile at all the pissed-off faces waiting at the counter inside…

Mom: Oh yes. Big Crunches are so good they are over 600 calories each, I believe. Crap, crap, crapitty-crap crap… I so hated finding that out.

Jay: I bet you are right! I wonder what his girlfriend was ordering? ;) Oh, and YES… the order was (amazingly) correct!

Vegas Princess: I think you are onto something there. Robots would probably do a better job…

Swubird: Ooooh, I don’t think I’ve read that post… (goes over to Swubird’s Nest to check it out).

Jill: You are probably right. I wonder if they work on commission?

Diesel: Hahahaha!!! You’re correct my friend. At least the people at drive thru’s. Not us.

Wendy: Holy crap! Really? Now that is hilarious! It just shows how independent thinking is NOT a trait they want in their workers.

Mary: Yes, politeness is a curse sometimes. Especially when I want to pound someone. (oh, I did NOT type that!)

Karen MEG said...

I agree with Ed...don't want to know what they add to get that extra "crunch".

In order to keep my blood pressure down, I try to imagine that the kid's hearing device is defective... that's when I remember to be a charitable Canadian ;).

Staci said...

I think that it's a KFC thing. The people at my KFC never, ever listen to what I'm saying. If I say I want two toasted wraps, they always follow with, "You want what kind of wrap?" "Toasted. I want toasted." "Do you want that in a combo?" "No." "Do you want a Pepsi?" "No." Obviously, if I had wanted those things, I would have asked. Then they tell me to drive around. They never give me the total until I get to the window, at which point I usually find out that the computer has somehow jiggled all the orders around and they want me to pay for some guy's buffalo wings.

Maureen said...

Karen Meg: Yes, we must keep up our tradition of patience, no? At least on the OUTSIDE that is...

Staci: Ha!!! You must live in my city; or, as you say, it MUST be a KFC thing.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I went to KFC yesterday and asked for the chicken strips meal.

"Sorry, we're out of chicken strips."

I asked for the breast and wing meal. They had that, but didn't have the extra crispy I asked for. I pulled up to that window half expecting her to say: "I'm sorry we're out of chicken. Would you like some biscuits instead?"

Maureen said...

Lisa: Ahahahahaha!!! We often have to wait for them to cook the chicken. What the hell do you mean you have to cook it? This is a CHICKEN RESTAURANT! It's dinnertime! What the heck are you going to serve?

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