Deflated

Today is a special day… I am no longer legally responsible for the kid. Crap, I guess I can’t call her that anymore.

Yes, my baby girl turns 18 today (which in Canada, means you’re an adult and can now legally drink – which basically takes most of the fun out of it).

In preparation for this momentous occasion, I made a card, bought and wrapped her gift, arranged for dinner out tonight and will be cooking and cleaning for the next two days before the family comes by for another celebration.

I also wanted to surprise Daughter this morning with 18 balloons piled high on her bathroom vanity with birthday greetings written all over the mirror in dry erase markers. But we had no balloons, so I delegated one job to The Hubster.

Me: “Can you pick up 20 balloons?”

The Hubster: “20?”

Me: “Yes. I need 18 to put in her bathroom Thursday morning. Two are extras in case some break.”

The Hubster: “Okay.”

So yesterday, as I was cleaning up at the end of the workday, my phone rings. I notice it’s Hubster’s cell number, so I decide to pick up (and don’t even TRY to tell me you don’t screen work calls two minutes before you leave).

Me: “Hello?”

The Hubster: “Hi. I’m at the store.”

Me: “Good….”

The Hubster: “Yeah, I’m standing here in front of the balloons.”

Me: “Um, that’s good too.”

The Hubster: “Okay, but there are different kinds of balloons.”

Me: “Just pick up enough to ensure we have 20. If they come in packs of 10 or 12, get two packs.” Duh.

The Hubster: “Oh. Here are some plain ones; ten per package.”

Me: “Get two of those.” Glances at clock which is now past 3:30. Dammit.

The Hubster: “But there are also packages of 10 with “Happy Birthday” written on them!”

Me: “Okay, get THOSE.”

The Hubster: “They cost more.”

Me: “That’s okay, get the best quality ones.”

The Hubster: “Yeah, good idea. Ohhh! Look! I just found a BIG package! A quarter pound of balloons!”

Me: “I don’t think we can…”

The Hubster: “They come in all different shapes!”

Me: “Just get 20 balloons. I don’t care which ones.” Crap. I could be well on my way home by now.

The Hubster: “Okay. I’ll get a variety.”

Me: “Alrighty then.”
* Sob. *

I love the guy, but I now fully realize why I am the decision-maker in the family. At least for things a tad more important than balloons.

23 People would rather be commenting:

The Gossamer Woman said...

Men are so awfully incompetent, I don't know why God made them that way, unless He had nothing t do with it and it's all their mom's fault. Or wires loose in the circuit permanently?

Maureen said...

Well, I shouldn't be too hard on him; he has his good qualities. Organization and decision-making maybe are not his strong points, but I suck at a lot of things he's great at. So I guess we make a good team.

Daisy said...

Happy birthday to your daughter. You can't go wrong with a QUARTER POUND of balloons!

Maureen said...

Thank you Daisy! I shall pass on your wishes to Daughter. Yes, we definitely have enough... Anyone up for a water balloon fight?

Ashley said...

Hahaha! Of course you can't blame him, look how enticing they look? All those colours? And something about a QUARTER POUND of balloons is appealing, It's like more manly or something. Like what kind of burly guy just orders a cheeseburger when they can have a QUARTER POUNDER with cheese? It makes sense.
Maybe you can make some cute animals with the long ones though!
I wish I could be there to celebrate with you guys, I can't believe she's 18 either! Sheesh. It mostly just makes me feel old! :oS

Ed said...

They are colorful.

Hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday celebration--funky balloons and all!

Shawn said...

There's just too many decisions to be made for such a purchase. However, on the other hand, insisting 20 balloons be bought is genius. I would never have thought of the extra two for safety's sake.

Janet said...

Do you know how to make balloon animals? If not, you should probably take it up!

Wishing your DD the happiest of b-days!

The Things We Carried said...

I think sometimes our husbands have brought the wrong thing home, and now they don't risk it! At least that is the case with mine.

Berry Blog said...

I am so glad I never married a woman. They are so secure in their roles as victims and so certain that their mates are idiots...never having a clue what it's like to guess what you're thinking nor the hammering you deliver when we don't do what it takes to please you.
may your daughter's partner be smarter when her daughter reaches 18

Jeff said...

Oh, that's too funny, but leave him alone. Those were some tough choices.

Oh, and please wish darling daughter a super duper happy 18th birthday for me.

jay said...

Men like to buy in bulk. It satisfies their hunting urges or something. LOL!

VE said...

We know all decisions have been premade since the invention of the woman...we're just trying to adjust to that reality...

JoJo said...

So what you wanted were already-inflated helium balloons instead of a package of them?

I hope your daughter had a great b-day!

Swubird said...

Maureen:

That is such a funny story and one that crosses international borders. You should have specified exactly what you wanted: colors, shapes, sizes, cost, etc. This is information we men need to know. Otherwise, it just won't come together in our minds. You know, like how women always need a road map to take a trip. Yeah, like that.

Screening your last minute calls? No, no.

Happy trails.

Vegas Princess said...

This is why I send my husband to the store with a detailed list of EXACTLY what I need. Men have been known to screw up buying the simplest of things due to having too many choices. Choices scare the hell out of them. :)

Vegas Princess said...

P.S. Happy Birthday to your daughter!!

James said...

Time really flies. Before you know it, the kids have turned into are adults, independent, probably moving out, marriage, etc.

If you have left over balloons, I guess you can always use it for other family events.

Rachel said...

HA HA HA HA ;-)

that's hysterical. Happy Birthday to your precious daughter!!!

XOXO

Sue said...

My husbands favorite saying is, "Act stupid, get out of work."
Continue to give him errands no matter how dumb he acts! Tell him you're on to him!

Maureen said...

Ashley: Hah! Yeah, but you'd think it would come in metric weights; but maybe "0.1133980925 kilogram" doesn't sound quite as impressive. And yes, I feel old as well.

Ed: Yes she did! A great celebration, balloons and all.

Shawn: Ah, genius yes. Especially when we have three cats in the house...

Thank you Janet! There ARE some long thin balloons in that package. But I am too scared to make balloon animals; I am always afraid they will blow up in my face!

The Things We Carried: I think you are right. I do believe he thought he would simply just cover his bases.

Berry Blog: Well, I would think I am pretty easy to please. At least I was happy he just brought home some balloons!

Jeff: I passed your message on to her. And yeah, I am so rough on poor Hubster, eh? ;)

Jay: Ha! You are SO right! That's it!!!

VE: It's about time...

Jo-Jo: Har! No! No more choices!!!

Swubird: Well, all's well that ends well. The balloons looked great, the parties were fab, and we all got a good laugh. What could be better?

Vegas Princess: Ha! I wonder if it's the choices or US that they are more scared of? Hmmmm.... And thanks for your well-wishes! I shall make sure she gets them.

James: We have enough balloons for EVERY family event from now on.

Thanks Rachel!

OMG Sue. My hubby made the mistake of telling me how he used to get out of doing the dishes when he was young; "the secret is just break a few... you'll never be asked to do them again." Little did he know I would remember that story.

Marsha's Mpressions said...

Maureen, it's a man thing. They don't have the shopping gene. Also, take it from someone who's been there. She may be 18 but as her mother you are never over the responsibility and aren't we really glad of that! ;)

Jennifer said...

Hey,

Poor men, I think they always get a bad deal! All of my friends turn 21 this year, so I have a feeling that the celebrations are going to be really special! I think this year some of my friends are going to club together and perhaps hire a limo which will be fab! The birthday surprises always begin early in the day, so this year I will be sending my friends an eCard greeting in my lunch break! I have done my research and tried loads of different sites, and have finally found the perfect Free Birthday e-Card site. I really like this site as there always seems to be new cards, I haven’t got bored. There are loads of sites out there to try, but I think it is a cool idea if like me you are a little strapped for cash! Means you will have more money to celebrate!

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