A Funny Thing Happened...

... while waiting at the Walk In Clinic.

It wasn't bad enough that Daughter had to come down with the flu a few days back whilst we were in Minneapolis.

Oh no.

Today, she awoke to the lovely sight of Pink Eye. Well, the lovely single-eyed sight of Pink Eye, for one was glued shut with Pink Eye Goo. (Was that TMI? Apologies.)

So, because Fate decrees that these things never happen on a weekday during regular office hours, we were off to the nearest Walk In Clinic to endure a few hours sitting amongst other sickos and screaming kids.

Except for one little sweetie with bouncy blond curls who arrived with her mom shortly after us. She must have been about four; in a pink frilly frock and matching pink sandals. It wasn't long before she asked her mom to read her something, so the tiny girl headed over to the bookshelf and raised herself on tiptoes to carefully pick out a magazine.

She returned to her seat in the row in front of us, proudly presenting her find by slapping it upon her mother's lap with the high-pitched request to "please read to me Momma".

I couldn't help but snicker as I noted the "magazine" she had chosen:

Drug FactsAs the child climbed up on her lap for reading time, the mom turned her head and rolled her eyes with a wide smile back at me. We both cringed at what lie ahead. It started out well, with a comic strip Mom could bluff her way through.

Freddy The FishBut then the bluffing became increasingly harder.

Booze





"What's dat?" she innocently enquired.

"Booze." Mom responded and quickly turned the page.











Cigarettes



"What's dat?" she asked again.

"Cigarettes." Mom answered.









Cannabis





"What's dat?"

"Ummmmm. I don't know." Mom blubbered.





I couldn't hold it in any longer... I had to let out a gaffaw as Mom turned back at me with a laugh and a shrug.

That was enough Fake Story Time for her. "Why don't you go pick out another book honey?"

And with that, the little girl jumped down, skipped across the room and came back with a new offering. Her tiny hands now clasped a Health and Lifestyle periodical. As they flipped through the pages, a tiny hand stopped on an ad for Dukoral.

DukoralHere we go again. "Why dat man sweating Momma?"

"He's hot sweetheart." Bravo... dodged another one.

I do believe it's high time the Walk In Clinic invested in some REAL children's books.

28 People would rather be commenting:

jay said...

Hahahaha! Well, you know what they say, it's never to early ... LOL!

Yep. Time for them to get in some kid's books for sure! Gee .. isn't waiting stressful enough?

Hope your daughter feels better soon. I can remember the glued-shut feeling. No fun at all.

The Green Stone Woman said...

Pink eye is very bothersome and makes you look so unlovable. Nobody wants to kiss you for fear of contamination. I hope you hug her a lot, regardless.

As to that little girl, she was very inquisitive, wasn't she? She must have been attracted by the good artwork on the covers. Wasn't there a George of the Jungle book anywhere. Did you help her look for one, or was it too funny?

JD at I Do Things said...

HA! Hey, I used to have a pipe like that.

Four years old is NOT too young to learn about drugs and diarrhea. This nice mother had the perfect opportunity to educate her young tyke.

Melinda Zook said...

Bahaha! I love books at the docs office, educational and hilarious!

Jeff said...

Wow, that's too weird. Austin actually had pink eye a couple of weeks ago - seriously. It's the first time anyone in our family has had it since they were toddlers. Do we need to ask our kids about this?

btw... how the heck did you pay for your visit? It ain't free in this country!

Jeff said...

Oh, check that last line. I just reread and realized this happened in Canada. Nevermind.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

What a funny experience. We always bring along our own books when we go to the doctor's office. You might try that next time. It works well.

Ashley said...

LOL! What are you, a sea-chicken? Excellent peer-pressuring line, I will file that one for future reference :o) Funny story!

Ed said...

Man, even a fish tank in the waiting area. Or one of those little bendy wire things with the beads on it.

Tony Single said...

Yes, real children's books like the Moomintroll series by Tove Jansson. Yep, that's what I reckon!

By the way... I don't like the sound of this "pink eye". I thought it was just a made up thing until I read this post. I'm almost afraid to wiki it to learn more...

Heather said...

LOL!! That is too funny! I hope your daughter is better, btw!

Swubird said...

Maureen:

I agree. Get some real children's books in there and stop with the dope and all that other stuff. What ever happened to Peter Cottontail and Mickey Mouse---even Little Red Riding Hood?

Happy trails.

Swubird said...

Maureen:

I agree. Get some real children's books in there and stop with the dope and all that other stuff. What ever happened to Peter Cottontail and Mickey Mouse---even Little Red Riding Hood?

Happy trails.

ReformingGeek said...

I think that mom did pretty well but for some reason a beer sounds good right about now! Yeah, I know I should eat lunch but what the hey!

My brother had a sinus infection so bad the gunk was coming out of his eyes. He had to go to the ER. They thought he was on drugs. Um, no.

Hope your daughter is better!

feefifoto said...

Hey, since I have you in my reader I rarely click over to the actual site. I love your design; it's full of little surprises in every niche.

Maureen said...

Jay: Yeah, but I do think she was a tad TOO young. Daughter is getting better... slowly at least.

The Green Stone Woman: Oh, it looks so painful. And never worry, she gets lots of hugs (at least when her friends aren't around). The little girl was such a cutie pie; and yes, it must have been the cartoon cover. Sadly no, neither me nor her mom helped her chose; we really didn't think she would have made the choices she did! (and yes, it was too funny!)

Oh JD, you druggie you! ;) It may have been even funnier her trying to explain... imagine all the new questions it would have generated!

Melinda: At least these magazines were't 10 years old...

Jeff: Aha! Yes, I do believe some questioning is in order....
Oh, and yeah, up here we just go in and walk out. No need for money except for the $ 3.65 for the eye drops (Blue Cross takes care of the rest).

Karen: Well, since my daughter is 18, I don't need to bring along anything anymore (although I could have used a good book for myself!) I'll bet that mother knows now to pack a bag!

Ashley: Yeah, "sea-chicken"... I do wonder what age group that mag really IS meant for...

Ha Ed! Yeah, every other waiting room has one of those bendy wire/beads thingys!!!

Tony: Oh, it's not made up at all. A woman at work had it so bad her eye looked as red as a cherry... gross. If left untreated, you can damage your eyesight.

Heather: Her eyes are slowly clearing up, thank goodness. The hardest part - she wears contacts, so she was doing a great impression of Mr. Magoo all weekend!

Swubird: I know... there was a Dollar Store right next door. How hard would have been to pick up a few right there?

Reforming Geek: Yeah, with her red eyes, I was making cannibis jokes all day; which made the discovery of the drug magazine quite timely, in fact.

Aw, Feefifoto, thank you! I am amazed I haven't tinkered with the design in at least a few weeks now... ;)

Momo Fali said...

I have sweat like that before. I only wish it had been because I was hot.

Janet said...

haha Love it!

Lady Banana said...

Haha.. I've had to do a similar thing years ago.. it really stretched the imagination!

Hope your daughter is better now!

JoJo said...

LOL!!!! What happened to the good ol' days when children's waiting room reading material was restricted to Highlights Magazine????

VE said...

I had a pink shirt once in the 80s...that's almost as bad a pink eye...

Maureen said...

Momo: Yikes... yes, I hate those sweats too.

Janet: Of course, as soon as his was unfolding, all I could think of - how the heck am I going to get a copy of that Drug mag? I went up to the bookshelf, and low and behold there were DOZENS sitting there, with "Yours Free to Take Home" written on the cover. Okay! I can do that! (But it did take the thrill out of stealing one).

Lady Banana: She is feeling better, thank goodness... now it seems it may be MY turn. Gak.

Jo-Jo: Yeah, Highlights! I can't believe how long those things have been around... I mean *I* remember reading them!!!

VE: On you, yes, it could be as difficult to view...

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Glad the eye is clearing up. Funny on the girl's reading choice!

Bruce said...

That was priceless.......truely priceless.....(hope the pink eye is all cleared up)

Louise said...

Hilarious story!

Maureen said...

Jill: Thanks... yeah, eye's cleared up now.

Bruce: I felt bad laughing, until her Mom laughed along with me. Then the little girl didn't quite know WHY were laughing, so she started giggling along with us both! It made me guffaw even harder!

Louise: Thanks! You never know when humour will strike, do you?

Vegas Princess said...

Ah, the joys of explaining illegal substances to your toddler. And they say society is going down the shi.....uh down the place the guy who is sweating because he is so hot desperately wants to visit.

Maureen said...

Har Vegas Princess! Yes, what we parents won't do to shield our kids from the truth...

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