I Have Magical Powers!

It's true!

Oh no, nothing as grand as being able to produce a Patronus Charm with a wave of my wand* or summon Balrog-repelling powers like Gandalf.** Hell, I can't even dodge laser bolts from a Seeker Droid training remote.***

But apparently I CAN see and/or do amazing things others can't.

Get this:

At ALL times, I can somehow sense whether the dishwasher has clean OR dirty dishes in it! Yup, the rest of the family seek me out when faced with the confounding dilemma of determining whether to place their used plate, cup or spoon inside. And if I am not within yelling distance or fail to respond to their desperate cries of assistance, said grimy vessels are simply placed on the counter; so as not to accidentally infect clean ones that may dwell within the secret chamber below.

I have the incredible power to turn scummy bathrooms into bright gleaming spaces with the swipe of my almighty Fist of Power (with the assistance of my faithful sidekick, Mr. Clean). Terror striken citizens of the household are saved yet again from grips of mold and mildew.

I have the ability to transform the kingdom into scenes of seasonal beauty. If it weren't for me, pumpkins wouldn't be carved, trees wouldn't be decorated and eggs wouldn't be hidden.

My most fierce magcial skill is my communion with beasts... being the bearer of food, water and comfort they loyally follow me about on my journeys throughout our kingdom. But this obviously also comes with great responsibility... for I and I alone, have The Vision. For I am the only being endowed with the gift to see and clean up all thier messes.

Yes, I am magical alright. Either that, or simply a wife and mother in a sarcastic mood for Monday morning.

What magical properties do you possess? We can start a League.

* Harry Potter fans will understand
** Lord of the Rings fans will understand
*** Star Wars fans will understand
(and those Geeks of us who don't have a real life, will, sadly, understand it all and nod in nerdy agreement)

Hero made with HeroMachine at Ugo.com

22 People would rather be commenting:

Kathy said...

My husband's idiocy about whether dishes in the dishwasher are clean is outdone only by his determination in continuing to ask me the question after having been screamed at "Why do you ask me? I'm not even in the kitchen!" for oh, I don't know, 17 years now.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

JoJo said...

I have magical powers when it comes to new toilet paper and paper towel rolls.

Daisy said...

I have noticed that only my Mommeh seems to have the skill to scoop the litterbox. My Daddeh, he must not have that skill yet.

AshPup said...

You look great as a hero! Maybe that could be an idea for a nice halloween costume?

Momo Fali said...

Do you hear that? My bathrooms are calling you.

ReformingGeek said...

You are one Incredible lady. Can you stretch?

I have the natural ability to make the bed with the sheets straight. Hubby is better at changing TP rolls!


Love the hero image. Yep. Got all the geek references.

Bruce Johnson said...

Can you come and work your super powers at my house.....it is a real mess right now.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Oh cripes... I must make sure this doesn't get in front of Charli. She has no problem being sarcastic about these things without your help thank you.

Janet said...

I, too, have powers! I can find any missing object -- pants, ink pens, cats, whatever -- from inside the house or even from a remote location! And I can also identify the precise location of items on the grocery store shelf, when Helpless Husband calls from the store and asks, "I'm in Aisle 5. Where's the mayonnaise?"

JC said...

Hmmmmm....my kitchen could use some work. Help me Obi-Wan Maureen, you're my only hope.

Cupcake Blonde said...

I have the power to look at a messy house and find the strength to live in it.

Anonymous said...

My special power is to be totally, utterly and irrevocably ordinary. That's right, total ordinariness is a super power because I do it so well. Be underwhelmed. I dare you. :P

Cupcake Blonde said...

P.S. Thought of you today in CVS when I came across a Jack Sparrow Pez dispenser. I so wanted to buy it for you and if I had the cash I would have! :)

Unknown said...

I'm sort of disappointed to say I didn't understand any of the references.

And I was totally distracted by your superhero. I made one recently and mine wasn't half as cool as yours. I like that long tunic and the mummy wrap underneath.

You know, leggings are in vogue now. Maybe that's why I'm enjoy your superhero fashion sense.

Bart said...

I can make any object disappear that I had in my hands only three @#!!& minutes ago.

And it'll be gone forever!

Note: does not work with bills and tax forms

Debbie said...

So funny and so true! My magical powers include divining the address and phone numbers of local services. And the ability to get results from said services. Interesting how my powers have not diminished even though my young have left the nest. LOL.

Louise said...

I love sarcastic moods.

My magical power? I'm the only one to finish a roll of toilet paper. Honestly. I guess that means I DON'T have the magical power of using only 1 of the few square centimeters left so the next person will get to finish is (and thus change the roll).

Maureen said...

Apparently, one Power I do not possess is getting a decent wi-fi signal while on business here in Edmonton! Apologies for the delay in answering. Let's see if I can get thru this before it goes out again...

Kathy: Ha! You are very welcome! It is disturbing, albeit somewhat comforting, that many husbands are strangely alike, no?

Jo-Jo: Oh, yes, the paper products. The bane of hubby's existance. He thinks he is the only one to change them. He just doesn't SEE it when I do.

Daisy: It must be a female thing. I seem to be the only one in possession of that power too. Hey, waitaminnit... DAUGHTER is female too, but never cleans them. Must be a Mommeh thing then.

Har Ashley! Only if it came with magical powers too.... those that would transform my body like that! And somehow I don't think that's possible.

MomoFali: Lalalalala... can't hear them! (They are being drowned out by my own).

Reforming Geek: We have the easiest bed in the world to make... yet hubby still can't do it. If he tries, I end up re-doing it properly. (Gee do you think I am OCD or something???)

Bruce: Too bad I am even farther north... can't fly right now. Got a meeting to go to....

Jeff: So what's Charli's email addy again???? ;)

Ahahahaha Janet! That is priceless! Yes, I do know where things are at home, but I think it's so funny he asks about where things are at the store! That IS quite the power you have!

Ha JC: Too bad my powers are limited to my own messing dwelling...

Vegas Princess: Never underestimate that power. It is very important indeed.

Tony: Well, there is something to say about ordinariness... it's erm, un-unique. Yeah, THAT's it!

Aw, VP thank you... but sad to say, yes, I DO have it! You are sweet to have thought of me.

Well Cardiogirl, the mummy wraps ARE very appropo... I AM a Mommy after all!

Hahahaha Be.Bart! I think that power is called "Old Age".

Ah Debbie, a Powerful Power indeed!!!

Ha Louise! Yes, it's amazing what you can do with a single sheet when you have to, isn't it?

Unknown said...

I have the incredible power to make my butt larger and larger, just by doing what I am now doing.

Swubird said...


We're all alone now, and at our age we simply say, tomorrow, and then tomorrow...on and on. So we could certainly use somebody like you around our house.

Happy trails.

Pandora Wilde said...

I understood all those and have a laundry list long as my arm of ones from anime that only my friends and I get... so how big a geek am I and does that explain why I'm in the basement at my mom's house?

Jill said...

Very funny!!!!

My daughter claims I have "magical looking powers" - meaning I'm the only one who can find anything. So this means that if I've just sat down to breakfast and somebody needs something out of the fridge, me saying "Look on EVERY shelf. It's in there. I just saw it." is not enough. Somehow only my magical looking powers will make the object appear. I give her points for flattery, but it's still annoying. :-0

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