Just Call Me SuperWoman

Not my chestIt was a typical day at work; I was running errands around the hospital to break up the mind-numbing number-crunching that kept me chained to my desk all morning. However, little did this mild-mannered employee realize that Fate would soon disrupt her usual routine and test her SuperHuman Powers of intellect and strength.

As I stepped aboard the Emergency Room elevator to return to my office, I was joined by three patients headed for the second floor. Unfortunately, the nervous lady last in couldn't figure out where exactly she needed to go, for instead of just pressing "2", she proceeded to slam each and every &%^*#&'ing button on the panel. As the doors closed, I sensed trouble was afoot; I spyed the floor indicator display as it began to flash...

... and wasn't the least bit surprised that we were headed nowhere fast.

Blast! The Evil Elevator had us in it's clutches!

It wouldn't go up.

It wouldn't go down.

It wouldn't respond to the Open Door button!

Profanity spewed from Nervous Lady informing us that she would "freak out in about two seconds". Apparently, she was two seconds ahead of her freaking-out schedule. The other passengers - two elderly gentlemen, simply stared into space.

As the only employee, I sprang into action. Hitting the "Help" button, I got on the intercom and informed the Operator of our predicament. While she put me on hold waiting for a response from Security, I thought the soothing elevator music that was piping in through the speaker would, at the very least, calm Nervous Lady a tad.

It did not. After being informed that someone was on their way, a further stream of four letter words flew from her mouth.

It was then that I noticed the door had a crack of light showing through... so I stepped forward, squeezed my fingers in between the steel barrier and wall and pulled with all my SuperPower.

Success! Luckily we weren't between floors; I was able to pry open the door so that all the captives inside would enjoy the sweet, sweet taste of freedom once more.

And without a word of gratitude from any of them, the three patients exited, asking for directions to the nearest stairwell.

"No thanks are necessary, my good citizens!" I exclaimed.

(No I didn't have the guts to actually say that. Instead I pushed my mild-mannered glasses up on my nose and pointed them in the right direction).

As the rescue forces arrived (erm, two Security guards) I assured them we were all okay, but that the elevator was out of commission. Their casual grunt of acknowledgement was less than I expected.

Oh well.

At least my secret identity is still intact.

31 People would rather be commenting:

Kathy said...

Oh, Super Woman! They didn't appreciate your help? That's a shame. I would have applauded and hugged you. And sent you candies the next day. Super Woman eats candy, right? I'm sure you could burn off all those calories flying to the next person in jeopardy. It's an honor to know you.

Sistertex said...

It *does* sound like a Clark Kent kind of day. :)

Long as Lex Luthor wasn't on your tail I think your decision to keep your identity hidden at that point was the way to go.

Keeps the press off your tail anyway... ;)

Nicely done...cooler heads often prevail.

Marsha's Mpressions said...

Well, at least you broke up the boredom of crunching numbers! :)

Ashley said...

Oh, that sounds awful! It sucks that they didn't seem to appreciate your act of bravery- but to be honest I might just be grateful that I wasn't stuck for another minute with "nervous lady" who might have done something far worse than just be totally rude.
You are a hero!

Heather said...

How ungrateful! Well, at least you got out of the elevator and away from nervous lady. LOL

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

That's unbelievable no one gave you any credit or thanks! I would have been leery about sticking my fingers in that crack so definitely would have thanked you at the very least.

Daisy said...

Whoa! I think you are just like Mighty Mouse!

"Here I come to save the day!"

Margaret said...

LOL I am so proud of you for saving the day!!! I would have been freaking out too because I hate elevators.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Isn't that how it always is? Those ungrateful so-and-so's! Superman never got thanked much either. Usually it was "Aw, great. You totally ripped my new shirt when you pulled me out of that well. You'll pay for that!"

Or that's what he's told me anyhow.

ReformingGeek said...

Those scumbags! Here's a hug from me ( ).

That reminds me of one of the elevators at my old place of employment. Too many folks would get on to go home for the day and we would press floor "2" to exit at street level. When the elevator arrived on "2", it stuttered and then dropped to "1". That happened to me once. I took the stairs from that point forward.

Babs-beetle said...

What is wrong with people? It's only a tiny word, and it makes a whole lot of difference. Why can't people just say 'Thank you'? I'm afraid I get a bit angry at bad manners. I would have been so grateful if I had been in that lift.

pinklea said...

So the cow who actually caused the problem by hitting all those buttons in the elevator didn't even have the grace to thank you??? Quelle surprise. Good thing you do have super powers, though. Can you imagine having been stuck in the elevator for much longer with her???

Badass Geek said...

I always thought that wearing that suit under ones clothes all the time would get a little uncomfortable. I mean, for Superman, there had to have been some chafing.

Maureen said...

Aw you are too sweet Kathy! Oh yes, SuperWoman gets her SuperPower from her high intake of sugars ;) (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it).

Sistertex: Ha! I am sure Lex was behind it all; or perhaps that WAS Lex in a Nervous Lady disguise....

Marsha's Mpressions: This is true!

Ashley: Aw, thanks. Yeah, she was a piece of work, alright. I couldn't imagine being stuck in there with her for very much longer...

Heather: Exactly. Being stuck in an elevator with three heart patients isn't the best scenario, that's for sure.

Aw, thanks Karen. I truely am amazed at the lack of courtesy nowadays.

Hahahaha Daisy! I LOVE Mighty Mouse!

Mr. Trouble never hangs around
When he hears this mighty sound...
"Here I come to save the day!"
That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way!!!!

Margaret: Well, I have to admit I have always had a recurring nightmare about being in an out of control elevator, so I have a titch of a phobia too; but I have never, ever been in a stuck elevator before, so I really surprised myself that I stayed calm! Of course ANYONE would look calm compared to Nervous Lady.

Hahahaha Lisa! So true! Poor Clark. I can totally relate to him now. ;)

Aw, thanks for the hug Reforming Geek! Oh my, yes, I can totally understand your preference for stairs now. I'll bet the same holds true for those three patients now too!

Thank you Babs! Yes, I just had to shake my head when they left without a word. I so wish I had the guts to actually say what I wanted to say.

Oh Pinklea, I think anyone in the same room with Nervous Lady deserves a medal. That woman would drive anyone mad.... she literally was scrunching a piece of wadded up paper the whole time. Very high strung.

Badass Geek: Perhaps Superman has some Supertalcumpowder (tm). Especially after a nasty fight; I can't imagine the feeling; sweating in all that stretchy clingy material. Yuck. Poor Superman. What he won't do for us mortals.

JoJo said...

You are much more polite than I am. I would've yelled, "YOU'RE WELCOME" after the rude patients who didn't thank you.

feefifoto said...

They couldn't even say "thanks"?

Beth said...

No one appreciates it when you save the day, but I bet someone would notice if you were the one causing the mess. Some days you can't win. Although, I bet you were thinking "this would make a great blog post." ;) My good friend who blogs jokes that her kids even point out when something blog-worthy happens.

jay said...

How brave you were! How restrained in the face of such rudeness and ingratitude! I hate it when lifts (elevators) don't work, and clearly Nervous Lady does too. As to the distance-gazing elderly gents, well, shame on them for not acting more courteously!

But yes, thank heavens you retained your Cloak of Secrecy! LOL!

Janet said...

Oh, my goodness! Quite impressive work there! I feared that you'd smashed your fingers. Glad all is intact.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Well sorry you were holed up with ingrates Super Woman. :-( At least you got a funny post out of it all though!

I feel kind of bad for freak out woman. I imagine she was already having a horrible day before all that. :-(

Ed said...

In what kind of world are we living when even a superhero fails to receive proper gratitude!!!

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, my god. I would have freaked out instantly in that situation. And I definitely would have thanked you. With cupcakes.

VE said...

I would have waited until they all broke down and confessed some embarassing moment from their life and then I would have opened the door. Then, after they were ungrateful I would have exposed their stories on YouTube; having secretly recorded them on your cell phone.

SWUBIRD said...

Maureen:

Another funny story from the backrooms of True Hospital. The only thing to ask now is, When will the full HBO series be on Netflix? I can't wait.

Happy trails

Lady Banana said...

I've often hoped I'd get stuck in the lift at work - for that exact reason, relieve boredom and pass the time! mad eh!

You are indeed a Superwoman but even superwomen need some gratitude - what meanies they were!

Vegas Princess said...

No good deed goes unpunished. Or acknowledged in your case. This is why I think twice about helping people, until I remember I help people for myself, not for them! Because I like to feel superior. Ha ha! :)

Maureen said...

Jo-Jo: I am far too wimpy to say it out loud. But in my MIND, well... I told them off alright! *sigh*

Feefifoto: Apparently not. I would blame it on "those young whippersnappers not knowin' their manners"; but they were all OLDER than me! Geesh!

Beth: Oh you know it. I may not have received my due thanks, but yes, I got a good story out of it at least.

Heh, heh, Jay. Yes, my secret is safe; and as long as I wear this all-encompassing cloak of wimpyness, my TRUE identity shall forever remain hidden.

Janet: No smashed fingers thank goodness, although at least if I HAD smashed them, I let everyone out at the ER. So I wouldn't have had far to get treatment.

Thanks Jill; but for some reason, I do believe that Nervous Lady has days like that everyday...

Ed: I know! Doesn't even seem worth saving the world some days.

JD: And I would graciously accept those cupcakes. As long as they weren't Kathy's Nipple cupcakes, that is ;) (sorry Kathy)

Oh VE: I do hope I never, ever get stuck in an elevator with you! That sounds more like a Lex Luthor plan than something SuperWoman would dream up!

Swubird: Fact is stranger than fiction isn't it? There is no way I could ever think these situations up... and yes, I do believe it WOULD make a good show. Although I wonder how many people would believe it.

Hah Lady Banana! I have never been stuck in an elevator either; it would have been a far more pleasant experience if I were alone though. Yes, the peace and quiet would have been a welcome change. I could have rested for hours!

Vegas Princess: Ha Ha! Oh yeah, I DID feel quite superior, come to think of it. After all, I was the only one to even TRIED to help us!

Bruce said...

Is it just me, or does there seem to be a whole lot more rude and ignorant people in this world this time of year. I have been stepping over them in piles the last 30 days.

Jeff said...

What a gyp.... being a hero is a thankless job. Well then, I'll take care of this for the rest of society. THANK YOU!!!

Maureen said...

Bruce: It's not just you. It seems to be the way of the world, sadly. Makes you want to hide inside away from everyone else some days, doesn't it?

Thank you Jeff... from all of us here at the UASHS (the UnderAppreciated SuperHero Society).

James Hutchinson said...

Great story. Once in Louisiana (My home state), two state senators got caught in an elevator for a few hours because the elevator repair man was caught in traffic. They pushed a new law through giving elevator repair men the same emergency rights as firefighters and ambulances.

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