It's not the first, and it certainly won't be the last, but today I read yet another salmonella warning online (thank goodness for the Internet, eh?). I try to keep informed and check out the reports, and luckily we've never had to worry...


Hmmmm, but this sounded vaguely familiar....

So of course when I got home the first thing I did was to inspect the two bags of lettuce in the fridge; one of which I had already eaten from.

AW Crap.

Fresh Express? Check.

Romaine? Check.

"S" in the Product Code? Check.

Manitoba? Check.

Best Before Date? UnCheck... mine are from the batch four days later.


But if you think these puppies aren't getting drop-kicked straight into the garbage, you'd be sadly mistaken.

After all, with all this advance warning they give us, I'm not taking a chance that NEXT week they'll extend the warning to Best Before May 20 too.

I can't wait to get my own garden-fresh lettuce growing again... and I just realized this: why the heck do I have TWO bags of week-old lettuce in my fridge??? Well, to be more exact, in the garbage.

Now.

Today, unbelievably, is my daughter's 19th birthday. Gad, how can that be? I'd better check the calendar again.

Crap.

*I* don't feel any different than I did nearly two decades ago. Well, other than I'm a lot thinner. Yep, the years have flown past.

Flown? More like flashed past me at the frickin' speed of light.

I always chuckled at my parents telling me the exact same thing (well, without using expletives as far as I know)... about how fast the years go. One day, perhaps daughter will continue the tradition by reciting those very same words to her child. And maybe HER kid won't roll her eyes at her.

But probably not.

Rolling eyes aside, I will admit I am so lucky to have such a close relationship with my daughter. I can see so many of my traits (all good) and some of hubby's (all bad, natch) rolled up into one person.

We have pretty good conversations too; except for a recent one. I have no qualms in declaring this *The Most Confusing Conversation Ever. I was trying to remember an actor's name and I just couldn't grasp the right words. Obviously.

TMCCE*:

Me: You know, whathisname.

Daughter: Who?

Me: That guy, you know, from that show.

Daughter:

Me: He also went out with whatzherface.

Daughter:

Me: Oh nevermind.


Yep, I guess I have to admit it. I *AM* getting older too.

Dammit.

It was a dreary, rainy morning. As I drove my usual route to work rounding a familiar man-made lake in the suburbs, I must admit I was on autopilot; it was just another typical uneventful weekday.

Until I was startled to full alert when nearly run off the road by someone obviously not paying attention to the direction they were headed.

It wasn't a vehicle.

It wasn't a pedestrian.

It was a pair of Canada geese.

Just lifting off the lake, it was obvious they had miscued and were about to broadside my van for it was clear their escape path was far too low. At the last second they pushed on those great wings and rose to barely clear my car as I attempted, unsuccessfully in fact, to brake on the slippery street. I swear I heard their feathers brushing my roof as I sat in shock, heart pounding. I peered over my steering wheel to watch them safely depart into the misty grey clouds, oblivious to the woman stroking out below.


Thank the Geese Gods they had the power to avoid a collision... otherwise it would have been messy. And I don't mean the blood-and-feather mess that would have resulted on the scene. I can just imagine the confused mess the poor insurance agent would be in as I reported my damages had they hit:

"Yes ma'am... and the make and colour of the one who hit you?"

"Goose. Grey, black and white."

"A Grey Goose bus???"

"Nope. Just Goose. Well, actually two. Two Ex-Geese now sadly..."

"Two geese dented your van's side and roof?"

"Yep. Two very large geese. Large. Slow. And not very good at take offs, really. But they were delicious."

Yep, it's a good thing they missed me.

I prefer turkey anyway.