A Near Miss

It was a dreary, rainy morning. As I drove my usual route to work rounding a familiar man-made lake in the suburbs, I must admit I was on autopilot; it was just another typical uneventful weekday.

Until I was startled to full alert when nearly run off the road by someone obviously not paying attention to the direction they were headed.

It wasn't a vehicle.

It wasn't a pedestrian.

It was a pair of Canada geese.

Just lifting off the lake, it was obvious they had miscued and were about to broadside my van for it was clear their escape path was far too low. At the last second they pushed on those great wings and rose to barely clear my car as I attempted, unsuccessfully in fact, to brake on the slippery street. I swear I heard their feathers brushing my roof as I sat in shock, heart pounding. I peered over my steering wheel to watch them safely depart into the misty grey clouds, oblivious to the woman stroking out below.

Thank the Geese Gods they had the power to avoid a collision... otherwise it would have been messy. And I don't mean the blood-and-feather mess that would have resulted on the scene. I can just imagine the confused mess the poor insurance agent would be in as I reported my damages had they hit:

"Yes ma'am... and the make and colour of the one who hit you?"

"Goose. Grey, black and white."

"A Grey Goose bus???"

"Nope. Just Goose. Well, actually two. Two Ex-Geese now sadly..."

"Two geese dented your van's side and roof?"

"Yep. Two very large geese. Large. Slow. And not very good at take offs, really. But they were delicious."

Yep, it's a good thing they missed me.

I prefer turkey anyway.

20 People would rather be commenting:

stace41971 said...

Scary!! My husband had a turkey rip the fender off his car...it was always amusing going anywhere with him and hearing people ask "what happened to your car?" and he would say "Turkey" and they would get the strangest look on their face...lol...

Unknown said...

Oh my! I bet that shook you up a bit.
That's what you get when you live close to all these wonderful creatures ;)

Cole Garrett said...

I hit a cougar that was trying to cross the highway one time. I was amazed at two things.
#1 it only destroyed my front left fog lamp
#2 I saw a cougar on the highway...in Texas!

Lindsey Buck said...

Ha! What is it about birds and their kamikaze attitude with cars? The problem out here is deer, they are everywhere! Almost hit one just the other day.

Love your blog! - Lindz

Irene said...

The only things I ever come close to hitting on my bike are pedestrians and it is their own fault as they stupidly wander off the sidewalk into the street. I wonder what would happen if I hit some geese. Who would get damaged the most? Or would we just get some bruises?

Bruce Johnson said...

I remember having to worry about this when we lived in the Midwest.....sadly, here in Arizona, we just have worry about Roadrunners that aren't as quick as they used to be crossing the highway.

Anonymous said...


Man, I really love your sense of humour! Love it!!

You like turkey more... snicker!!!


ReformingGeek said...

Yeah, goose pie wouldn't have been very tasty.

I'm sure they were aiming to poop on target.

Lizzy said...

I had a friend who's car was attacked by a deer. She was stopped at a red light, it came out of nowhere reared up and hit her car a few times and then ran off. The policeman behind said it was a good thing he was there, because without the eye witness of a cop no one would have believed it!

The Asian Pear said...

If it makes you feel any better, we hit a deer on the city highway last year. When we took the car to the collision centre, the police looked at the dent with some fur still on it and said, "Hit a deer eh?"


Jill said...

Wow! Makes for an exciting morning, that's for certain!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...


Brenda Grolle said...

It's a conspiracy! First the stereo system, now the geese.

JoJo said...

YIKES!!! So glad that nothing happened! It's surprising how much damage an animal can do to your vehicle. When we were moving to Washington from California, a deer darted across Interstate 5 in Oregon, right in front of my hubby's car. He slammed on the brakes and swerved. Luckily it was 7:30 a.m. and the highway was deserted so he was able to get out of the way, but man alive, it would have been a HUGE disaster if they'd collided. I was driving my own car behind Brian's and watched it unfold. At that time we had no jobs, no health insurance and no home.

BTW, isn't a 'near miss' actually a Hit?

Leenie said...

Not a good idea to eat the evidence before consulting the insurance angent. In fact take LOTS of bloody photos with your cell phone to gross them out as well.

Karen MEG said...

They look beautiful in flight... but are totally a hazard. We've got them nesting outside our office building, hissing at people as they enter. Not so beautiful in that situation, actually. They're so prevalent we have goose crossing signs on the road...

Ca88andra said...

That would have been a shock alright!

Daisy said...

Daisy's "mom" here:
I guess geese are not too smart. Maybe that's where the saying "silly goose" came from.

Once we were driving home and a small egret flew right in front of us, low to the ground. I didn't feel a "bump" on the road, but when I turned back, I didn't see the bird either. When we got home, Mark and I looked at the front of the car and saw... the dead egret wedged in the grill of the car. I screamed and Mark said "go inside, I'll take care of it." ::shudders::

Cupcake Blonde said...

Those geese are my nemesis. Been attacked by them twice. So I would not be surprised to learn of their devious attempt to drive you off the road.

Maureen said...

Yikes, these stories are scary!

Stace, that IS funny! At least I like turkey....

Babs, yes it's true. I just wish they weren't SO used to all the people.

Cole: Cougar??? Holy crap.

Lindzena: Aw, thank you. Yes, I have seen quite a few deer laying on the side of the road; too sad.

Nora: Ha! Pedestrians can do damage too... but geese; I am glad I didn't find out.

Bruce: What are you, a coyote??

Aw thanks Middleagedcrazywoman!

Reforming Geek: They've done that too... and I was surprised they didn't leave a parting gift on my roof after this encounter!

Lizzy: Holy crap! I can just imagine the scene... too bad there was no video; that would have been hilarious to see!

Ick, Asian Pear! I would have been horrified!

Jill: It certainly woke me up, that's for sure!

Perpetual Chocoholic: Yep!

Holy crow Jo-Jo! Yes, deer can do so much damage... and without healthcare, yikes! And yes, I guess a near miss IS a hit, eh? Hadn't thought about it that way...

Leenie: Luckily it didn't come to that!

Ha KarenMeg! We have those here too! They literally stop traffic.

Ca88andra: Oh it was shocking alright!

Daisy's Mom: Silly Goose is right! And yay for hubby! That was very chivalrous of him.

Ha, Vegas Princess! I remember your Goose encounters!

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