I Hate Meetings

Okay, maybe "hate" is too strong a descriptor.

They are vile like lima-bean disgusting time-wasters.

Well whaddya know, perhaps "hate" IS the perfect descriptor after all.

I've actually been forced to attend meetings to discuss what meetings should be set up next. After nearly 30 years of this nonsense, it's not surprising that I now spend the majority of them mentally calculating what else I could possibly be doing; mostly daydreaming about activities of the non-work variety.

The worst of all are those get-togethers sneakily set up while I am away, ambushing me upon my return as I unsuspectingly open The Evil Email Inbox.

Which is what happened again this week. After a single vacation day, the top item to greet me on my email list - a meeting request with the Big Wigs for 10 am.

Crap. There goes my morning to catch up.

Thank the Gods I dressed up today. Instead of the usual jeans and casual top, luckily I had time this morning to don a blazer, accessorize with a new tie-dye scarf and cool new boots-boots.

So I rushed through the morning Must-Be-Done-Or-The-World-Will-End pile and dashed off to the opposite wing in the hospital for The Meeting. I make it just on time and surprise, surprise, no one else is there.

Well, that's happened before. I am typically the first to arrive; too OCD to be fashionably late like the upper management types.

But then after 15 minutes playing on my Blackberry and finding myself still alone in the conference room, I begin to get pissed. Wandering down the hallway to the Admin offices I discover no one is around. Nada. The place is deserted.

Well, dammit. If they don't even have the courtesy to be on time, I am NOT hanging around.

I return to my office fuming.

What a waste!

What a discourtesy!

What a rude treatment!

I open my calendar to confirm that I was in the right room. Yup it was, and at 10 am alright.

10 am next Monday.

What an idiot.

25 People would rather be commenting:

Irene said...

Oh, that's so sad! And you were all ready too.

Unknown said...

It was almost my downfall in teaching..I just hated meetings.The same people always had endless things to say that took us nowhere, were usually rude in the protocol, and often simply out "louded" everyone.Committees usually beget sub committees.
In teaching it seems that workshops are never instructional...legislatures want certain things to happen and leave teachers to create the solutions.
and in language arts, I'd love to have served on a committee that could agree on anything, even the next meeting time. It never happened before I left.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I used to strongly despise meetings at my old job as well. Not so much for the mere fact of them, but because each one invariably meant that management had come up with some insane new idea that we would have to half-heartedly implement for the next month before everyone sort of forgot about it and things could get back to normal.

Until the next meeting.

Babs (Beetle) said...

Ha ha ha! Mo and I did that once with a show at the theatre! We arrived a week early, then forgot to arrive at all on the actual night of the show!

That's the good thing about working for yourself. There's only you to meet with :O)

JD at I Do Things said...

Just be sure you make a note to wear your boot-boots again next week.

I love how "lima bean" works its way into your hatred of work meetings.

Anonymous said...

Eh... the way I see it you had a good time playing with your black berry and a time alone. Now get back to work.

You should schedule more meetings.

Anonymous said...

Ahahaha! That's exactly me. I got so paranoid when I was at work - would I forget a meeting altogether, or would I turn up at the wrong time, wrong place or wrong day?

Thank heavens I don't have to worry about that any more!!

At least you had your Blackberry to play with, huh?

Ed said...

At least you didn't have to drive to the meeting.

I've done similar with physician appointments. It's a bit embarrassing.

Da Old Man said...

Used to work in Social Services. We had meetings that attained near legendary status for being so long and unproductive.
Pre-meetings were the rage for a while.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Too funny. I've done the same thing. I've also completely missed an important lunch meeting with my boss where we both were supposed to drive several miles to meet at a restaurant. He showed up - I didn't. That's a much worse problem.

btw... how did lima beans get such a bad rap anyway? I kinda like them.

Karen MEG said...

Meetings are often the worst time-wasters... especially if there are people who just like to listen to themselves talk...

I think you were probably more productive just playing on your Blackberry!

Anonymous said...

I caught the right bus on the wrong day once. I ended up where I had to go, then realised my mistake and had to turn around and come right back home again. Tsk tsk. People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live! :p

Maureen said...

The Finely Tuned Woman: Yes, there I was, mentally prepared for a good daydream session. Rats.

Berry Blog: Wow, if I didn't know better, I could have sworn you worked with me!

Shawn: Ha! How very, very true, sad to say!

Babs: Oh how funny about missing the show (okay, you laugh about it now, probably not then)... well at least being the only one there, no one else knew about my faux pas.

JD: I love my boots-boots! And yes, lima beans are the worst... I cannot STAND them!

Jaffer: Ha! The only problem with that is, usually I have MORE work to do AFTER those damn meetings.

Jay: This is true. And no, I don't go anywhere without my Crackber... er, Blackberry.

Ed: Yeah, you're right. Driving there would have been worse. Especially when I would have tried to get my mileage reimbursement for a meeting that didn't exist.

Da Old Man: Pre-meetings! Gah! I swear, some people - all they do is attend one meeting after another. All day. I think I would shoot myself.

Jeff: Oooooh... now THAT must have been embarassing. And seriously, you LIKE lima beans??? Sorry, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore.

Ah, hell, yeah we can; just don't ever eat them in front of me. K? Thx. ;)

Karen: You are right... on both counts. The same attendees yak, yak and yak, while I sit most of the time silent unless I have to contribute.

Lady Banana: Yeah, I guess it was a good thing there wasn't ANOTHER meeting scheduled for that room; that would have been even worse to burst in on them!

Tony: I know! Good thing no one, other than the entire blogosphere (well, okay maybe not the ENTIRE) knows just how idiotic I can be at times.

Cupcake Blonde said...

I blame it on Vacation Brain. Even after only one day off you need some time to get back into the swing of things.

Kate Burton said...

Oh no! I think we may have been scheduled for the same meeting. I did the same thing last week and then stormed into an office asking why no one else was prepared....I'm still pulling my foot out of my mouth.

Swubird said...


I know what you mean. There's nothing worse than an unnecessary meeting. When I was in management I did hold a lot of meetings, but I would like to think they were important to the progress of our work. I wonder what my staff would say if they were asked now? Yikes!

Happy trails.

Anonymous said...

I've done similar things. For example, I went to a wedding once, traveled four hours, only to learn that it was the previous week and I had missed it completely. Oooops.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit ... I like meetings. The give me a chance to relax and daydream about horseback riding through the Amazon whilst being chased by mob of angry natives with a girl I just saved from .... is this too much information?

Maureen said...

Vegas Princess: Bravo! That HAS to be the culprit. Thank you... now I don't feel so foolish ;)

Kate: Ha! Well, I guess I should count my lucky stars no one WAS around; or else I would have done the same!

Ah, but Swu, if you managed the way you can spin a tale, I'll bet your meetings were at the very least, interesting!

UnfinishedRambler: Holy crap, really? Ouch! That MUST have hurt. Thanks for making me feel better ;)

Chris: HAhahahaha! Nope, not TMI, I wish I were there with you. Let's book a meeting to discuss...

AiringMyLaundry said...


Sounds like something I'd do. I always seem to get my dates mixed up. But it's not surprising because I also walk into a room and completely forget why I walked in there in the first place.

Ed & Jeanne said...

Yep, been there done that. What you should do is restructure your pay so that you actually get paid by the meeting. You'll be rich in no time...

Anonymous said...

Lol...What's most important is that you looked good and were early --- VERY VERY EARLY. But for the sake of staying positive, let's focus on the looked good aspect!

Momo Fali said...

I once took my daughter to a birthday party a week early. The other mom never let me live it down either.

Jill said...

:-( Well, I think that happens to everyone at some point. I hate meetings!!!!!!

Brad Johnson said...

Great blog! I got so frustrated by unproductive staff meetings that I decided to do something about it! I posted my "meeting survivor story" on www.bringtim.com. I would enjoy also hearing from other "meeting survivors!"

- Brad

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