The Hummer

You'd think in this day and age people would be a tad more considerate. I mean really; instead of acting like they live in a bubble, I wish they would start thinking of their neighbors. And realize that their actions affect us all; the people who have to share the same earth.

But noooo.... they just breeze through their life, only concerned about themselves, not caring a whit that they are polluting everyone's environment.

What am I ranting on about?

The Hummer.

Yep, the crazy woman my daughter and I were forced to listen to as we awaited the Orthodonist.

Seconds after we arrived in the dental waiting room, my ears were assaulted with a strange sound; not unlike the buzzing of an irritating mosquito... but I couldn't quite pinpoint its origin. My face must have revealed my aggravation, for daughter nudged me, rolled her eyes and nodded her head toward the culprit. Duh! The only other person in the otherwise silent room was sitting at the end of our row of chairs, reading a magazine and humming.

And humming.

And humming some more.

And not quietly. Oh no. This was LOUD humming.

The kind that prevents any kind of concentration on anything...

... except the humming.

So in lieu of scrambling over the chairs and forcably attempting to mute her, WE began to hum. Really loudly. Sadly... it didn't work. It didn't even faze her.

She just kept on humming. The LEAST she could have done was hum something decipherable, but regrettably it was the musical equivalent of gibberish.

Daughter was overjoyed when her reprieve finally came to leave and get her braces tightened. I was left to bear a far greater pain. For I had to wait alone and endure...

The Hummer.

Oh, you didn't think I meant THIS type of Hummer

did you?

Well, yeah, I hate those Hummers almost as much.


The Mummer Hummer

25 People would rather be commenting:

Julie H said...

Actually my mind jumped to a different type of "hummer" all together. Whoops bad me ;O)

Kathy said...

I'm plagued by a whistler in my office. I don't know which is worse, humming or whistling. But at least you got to leave and never see that woman again. I gotta live with this guy 8 hours a day. Pray for me.

Ed & Jeanne said...

Better than a 'cruncher'...

Shawn said...

I used to want one of those so badly (the car, not the annoying person, and not the thing Mom Taxi Julie is talking about...well, ok, yeah, that too, but...oh man, this is a long parenthetical), but now they've become so socially shunned.


I don't even remember what my point was.

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, I used to work with a Hummer. SO ANNOYING. And yes, tuneless, meandering little humming. With lots of vibrato. I don't think these people even realize they're doing it.

DJ Kirkby said...

What really? I would have had to go in and watch the brace tightening session...either that or burst a blood vessel trying not to strangle that woman!

feefifoto said...

You realize, don't you that you're going to get quite a lot of traffic from people searching for the gas guzzler kind of Hummer. This was purely unintentional, right?

DouglasDyer said...

I'll check with the Vatican but I believe you just inched one step closer to Sainthood. You'll have to die first, of course, but we can work out the technicalities later.

JoJo said...


Well, as one who has always had music stuck in her head her entire life, sometimes we just don't realize that we are singing out loud. I'm always singing or whistling something, in my office, at the copier, very loudly in the's a habit I picked up from my parents who were also always humming, whistling or singing.

Maureen said...

Mom Taxi Julie: Hmmmm... I didn't think "Hummer" had so many connotations!

Kathy: Oh gad, haven't you said d anything? I am so glad I have an office door.

VE: I guess so!

Shawn: Ha! I think you were trying to say you wanted a Hummer... hmmmmmm.

JD: I think you are right. I was THIS close to actually saying something... but as a Canuck, I am way too polite for my own good.

DJ: Believe me, I WAS tempted. I just wish my iPod had been charged up :(

FeeFiFoto: Ha! Now that will be interesting to see!

Ha! Douglas!!! Well, I NEARLY died listening to her... does that count?

Oh Jo-Jo No! I do hope you didn't hum in public! Did you at least pick a tune that others could figure out?

ReformingGeek said...

I'm proud of you for resisting the urge to whop her with a magazine.

People are nuts!

Maureen said...

Reforming Geek: You don't know HOW close she was to getting a good smack. Both by daughter and me. I wonder if she would have even noticed???

Whack! Hummmm! Whack! Hummmmmmmmmm!

Jill said...

That's funny, the first thing I thought was that I didn't think people even drove Hummers anymore.

That's funny on your humming and just as funny that it didn't cause her to become aware of what she was doing (presumably). Maybe if you had started singing too. :-)

Karen MEG said...

Gah, I don't know what's worse, bad humming of bad singing. I've heard both in the office in my time.

At least you can do something with the other hummer, even though I'd look ridiculous driving that thing around.

Swubird said...


This post touches a very sensitive cord with me. I hate inconsiderate hummers, foot movers, leg flappers, whistlers and cellphone talkers.

As an example, my Queen and I frequently sit in Borders Bookstore and read. There are usually several people doing the same thing---students, etc. But there's this one lady who crosses her legs and then commences to exercise her feet while she reads. First one clodhopper and then the other. So there I sit trying to concentrate and all I can see is her foot waving about as she goes through all the motions of her ankle joints. She has no idea it bugs the other people. But, I'm telling you, it drives me crazy. It's so frustrating, in fact, that I'd like to pour a cold drink over her head. But it's a free country---at least for the time being. So we endure.

Happy trails.

Anonymous said...

I'm a bit of a quiet hummer - but it's completely unconscious. DD tells me that she can tell my mood (and also my location) by whether or not I'm humming. I usually have no clue that I'm doing it, and when I do realize, I'm mortified that people might have heard me! DD and PG both assure me that it's not annoying humming in the least, but I'm not sure. I don't even know how loud I actually am! So, on behalf of hummers everywhere, I humbly apologize to those whom we annoy!

Maureen said...

Jill: Yeah, unfortunately Hummers ARE stil roaming the Earth... I took that photo just a few days ago,'cause the licence plate says 'Mummer Hummer'. Ha!

Karen Meg: I wonder how people can justify driving those behemuths around?

Swubird: Endure we must. But it just goes to show how self-centered so many people are... I just shake my head in disbelief some days.

Pinklea: Apology accepted. I do have to give them a bit of leeway if they do it unonsciously; and next time? I'll be sure to pack the iPod and have it charged up. In case of emergency.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Well done... you had me convinced you were talking about the HII at first.

I'm guilty of finger-drumming on my computer whilst I read a page or wait for something to load. I usually don't even know I'm doing it until my co-workers start giving me the stink eye.

Hey, I'm a musician... I have no control over the matter!

jay said...

Haha! Well, maybe the poor soul had tinnitus and was trying to drown it out? Or perhaps she was really, really nervous and it was her calming technique? Or maybe she was an alien and just trying to say 'hi'?

You didn't think of that, did ya? LOL!

Maureen said...

Jeff: When two events involving "Hummers" (first the vehicle, then the lady) ocurred within a few days, it was a post just begging to be written.

Oooh.. the old "stink eye". That can be deadly, you know. Or at the very least, embarrasing.

Oh my Jay! You have got me wondering now... why didn't *I* think of the alien reasoning???? Silly moi.

Bruce Johnson said...

Sounds like a cooping mechanism for someone that was nervous to be at the dentist office. If I had been there, would have just started farting......

Janet said...

Oh, this story brings back suppressed memories. I used to go to a dentist who hummed. I'm telling you, it was dreadful. There you were, captive in the dental chair with your mouth open and a filling in process, then the incessant humming began. There was no hope of escape!

Cupcake Blonde said...

I hate The Mumblers. Those who mumble to themselves and you are not sure if they are talking to you or not. I either get yelled at because I ask what they want and they weren't talking to me or get yelled at because I don't acknowledge them. You can't win with a Mumbler.

Cupcake Blonde said...

Oh and I also thought of another kind of "hummer" initially. My mind is in the gutter...

Maureen said...

Ha Bruce! (Makes note never to accompany Bruce anywhere stressful...). But she wasn't the one getting the dental work; her daughter was!

Janet: OMG... it's not bad enough to be in the dental chair, but also to go through the torture of HIS humming???? GAH!!!!! I feel so bad for you. Thank goodness he is your ex-dentist! He probably wonders why he loses so many patients to other dentists!

Vegas Princess: Mumblers are awful too... hubby mumbles a LOT; I constantly have to remind him to ENUNCIATE!

Oh, and get your mind outta the guttter, gal.... ;)

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