The shopping days before Christmas were swiftly dwindling down when I finally cornered daughter to determine what Santa could bring her this year (yeah, I said "Santa" which of course incited the 18 year old to perform a lengthy and rather dramatic eye roll).

Since I caught her in pre-date preparation mode, I had to transcribe as she hurried up and down the hall -- from her boyfriend waiting patiently in the front foyer to the bathroom where she was making last-nanosecond touches to her hair. She obliged me by quickly rambling off a slew of great ideas, then as they flew out the front door she mentioned one last item:

"Oh, and if you ever come across this certain Fall Out Boy CD, get it as it's old and hard to find..." so I scribbled down the title at the end of her now lengthy Christmas Wish List.

I doubted I would find it locally, so the next day I had a brainstorm; check eBay and see if I could find that CD. I really wanted to get it for her since we went to their concert in Minneapolis together in the summer... yeah, even though I'm old enough to be their mother, I love them too.

Lo and behold, (and Holy Crap!) I found it! But, boo... they only shipped to the US of A. So I wrote the seller and he agreed to ship to Canada. Yay! I couldn't believe it! I was going to be such a hero. Miraculously, it was in my hands just five days later. I was so excited.

Hee Hee Hee!

I started planning The Big Reveal. I wrapped it in plain green paper so I could hide it in the tree, keeping it as a final OMG! gift after all the other prezzies were opened.

Hee Hee Hee!

I was giddy for Christmas to get here! I just couldn't wait for the squeals of delight from my teenager and the inevitable "OMG!! How did you DO this! You are amazing!" that would surely come from her lips once she realized what she was holding. And I was going to reply "Because I am MAGIC!"

Oh yes I was.

So Christmas Eve arrived, and while she was out with friends at a late night party, I arranged the gifts under the tree and carefully inserted the green-wrapped CD in the upper branches. Hidden perfectly! Awesome!!!!

Hee Hee Hee!

I was just getting ready for bed when she came home from the party. Before she even hung up her coat or shook off her boots, she excitedly blurted out:


"Oh my god.... guess what my boyfriend got me for Christmas! That Fall Out Boy CD! Isn't that AWESOME?"


My ears burned as my heart crashed.....


Crap, crap, crap!!!!!


"Oh yeah, awesome..." I quietly murmured as I pulled her CD from the branches of our tree.


Stupid boyfriend.

A few short weeks ago I didn't have a thing ready for the holidays. No cards made. No cookies baked. The house was a mess. I didn't even have a turkey.

Then it snowed just a bit and it happened. I was struck with the Spirit of Christmas.

I hand made and mailed cards.

I baked.

I shopped. I wrapped.

I shampooed the carpet.

I shampooed the oven.

I shampooed the dog.

I got the turkey and all the other groceries.

I decorated.

Amazingly, I think I am ready for Christmas.

Yep, it's a Miracle alright.

Because the panic spirit of the Christmas season has finally descended upon me, this weekend was filled with with decorating, shopping, card making and holiday baking.

With all of that squeezed into just two days, the last batch of shortbread was coming out of the oven near the midnight mark last night. Needless to say at that hour after a busy weekend, daughter and I began to get a tad goofy; without alcohol, I confess.

When she asked if we had any tree-shaped cookie cutters, I surprised her with not only a tiny pine we must have picked up some-the-heck-where-but-I-can't-remember place, I also found a matching tiny Gingerbread man. Seeing the tree reminded me of my bloggy friend Jeff's post about his Christmas tree "mishap" this year so I related the story to daughter since they have met a couple of times.

Then the silliness kicked in when her trees were starting to come out, let's say, a bit wonky.

Things just took off from there.

Now Jeff will TRY to convince you that his prized Christmas tree simply fell off his trailer on its way home. But we know better. Here, in all it's butter-and-sugary glory, is the TRUE story of what happened to Jeff's Christmas Tree:


See Jeff. See Jeff buy a Christmas tree. See Jeff smile as he is happy with his beautiful tree.
See Jeff drive down the highway with his beautiful Christmas tree in tow. See Jeff discover his un-tied down beautiful Christmas tree has suddenly disappeared from his trailer.
See Jeff search for his poor, lost beautiful Christmas tree. See Jeff wander into the Forest of Minnesota, unaware of the deadly Forest Ninjas who dwell there.
See Jeff finally come upon the dismembered formerly-beautiful Christmas tree. See Jeff become sad.
See the Forest Ninja celebrate his latest victory.
So now you know the real story.

Yup. Daughter sure put those new red and green glitter gel icing tubes to good use this year. Let's just say I am thrilled we didn't discover these things when she was three.

A presentation of:
Productions, Inc.

It never fails... the Holly-Jolly, Jingle-Belling, MostWonderfulTimeOfTheYear Holiday Season approaches and it happens.

Something major fails, malfunctions, or sputters to a complete, unforseen and utter halt.

Years ago it was our one and only TV.

Another year the dryer died.

A few years back the furnace gave up the ghost.

Last year it was daughter's and hubby's cars.

This year like clockwork, I was totally surprised (NOT) that it happened yet again. Karma KNEW I had just drained my bank account buying a few rather largish Christmas presents early Saturday morning. I had felt soooo good! "Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la...." smugly performing the "I have most of my Christmas shopping done in one fell swoop" dance as I stroked a whole scad of items off my lengthy shopping list.

Then Monday morning my stomach turned at the metal-on-metal grinding that emanated from beneath my van with each press of the brake pedal. Yep there was no doubt; my brakes were screwed. And so was I.

Dammit!

So once again I found myself laying out the big bucks at the worst possible moment.

You'd think that was the recurring Nightmare. Frankly, I have come to expect the unexpected in December. But believe it or not, that wasn't what made me shiver in fear.

The worst part of the whole experience was the uberfrail 500-or-so year old wisp of a man in front of me at Canadian Tire's Auto Service Desk. Not only did he fail to comprehend what the mechanic was patiently and repeatedly trying to explain to him in a very loud voice, he shook so badly he couldn't get his key back onto his keyring. Then he tried to pay in Australian dollars even after the cashier pointed out his error. After numerous offers of different denominations of the foreign currency, he finally found his Canadian cash stuffed in amongst the thick wad of Aussie bills. Even after he was rung through, he stood at the counter for what seemed like oh, eternity, fiddling with his wallet, keys and paperwork, oblivious to the long line queueing up behind him. Eventually he slowly shuffled off in search of his car in the parking lot.

Yes, it's a Nightmare to have a major unexpected expense at Christmas.

But the thought of someone like that still driving will haunt my dreams forever.

Years ago I made a shrewd purchase. I masterfully avoided serious conflicts in the home by purchasing daughter her very own computer; ensuring we would never have to resort to fisticuffs over share mine.

Then awhile back, hubby reluctantly tiptoed into the 21st century and wanted to learn how to use a computer too.

That didn't work out so well even though I had set up my old desktop for him to practice on.

Because I obviously didn't want him playing on MINE, did I????

Ha! Never!

Yes, I must admit I AM selfish when it comes to my own laptop. I like to be able to turn it on when I want, walk away when I want and have it there exactly the way I left it when I return. I can carry it into my craftroom or relax in the livingroom with hubby while he channel surfs on the TV.

But it's mine. All to myself. My very own. Mineminemine.


Well, sometimes.

I wonder where I can buy a cat-sized laptop...

And yes, I AM wearing my comfy polar bear pjs. I have matching slippers too. Just be thankful I don't have a webcam and vlog.