Maybe He'll Stop That Now

If you're a long-time reader, you may recall a few years back I posted about our troubles with Home Depot. Well, not with the store itself, but with its dialing-challenged customers who mistakingly call our phone ALL.THE.FREAKIN.TIME.

(And if you don't recall, or weren't around here in 2007, click the link to read the post. If you want. You don't have to. But if you do that's okay too.)

The gist of the story was that our home phone number which I chose in 1987 just so happens to be one digit different from a newly-built Home Depot's main line. Of course this means that since the day they opened, we are the lucky recipients of numerous calls from Home Depot customers who don't bother to look up their number. They assume it begins with the same digit as ours since it's located in the same neighborhood.

It doesn't.

Anyhoo, for years hubby has continued a little prank that apparently, only HE thinks is funny.

Every so often without rhyme or reason, he answers the phone with the phrase "Home Depot!" Unfortunately, his uncanny sense of timing chooses the precise moments when one of my family calls. Luckily after nearly 30 years of marriage, they are quite used to his "sense of humour" (yes, air quotes there) and merely respond with a quick "Is Maureen there?" as he laughs at his own "wit" (ditto air quotes), while I cringe in embarassment and apologize to them for my husband's behaviour. Again.

But last week it finally happened. I don't know why he picks certain times to answer our phone this way, but just after noon last Sunday, the phone rang and he answered with a cheery "Home Depot!". I was in the kitchen cleaning up from brunch when I rolled my eyes once more, preparing to take the call and make the inevitable apology. I shook my head and prayed to the gods that he would stop doing that.

Home Depot Guy - not hubbyWhich is when my prayers were answered, for the next thing I heard was him sputtering:

"Um, no, sorry.... I, er, no this really ISN'T Home Depot."

"No, it isn't!"

And from the next room I burst out laughing. I only wished I could be privy to the other end of the conversation.

"Uh, no was just kidding..." He sounded like a school boy being chastised by a teacher.

"No, you have the wrong number" he stammered. Apologizing more than once he eventally convinced the caller, giving them the right number.

"Oh geez." He was deep crimson, finally hanging up the phone. "That was a little old lady who was sure this was Home Depot."

"I feel so bad. I really confused her. I don't think she believed me."

And I burst out laughing some more.

Serves him right. I just wish I would have thought of this years ago. I could have hired someone to portray a feeble but kind little old lady and he never would answer the phone that way again.

Silly me.

34 People would rather be commenting:

Richard said...

My Dad does this, except he goes with "Joe's Bar and Grill, Joe speaking!" ;)

Heather said...

That is tooo funny! Thanks for the laugh! :)

Jennifer said...

Oh man...

I would probably encourage him and then roll on the floor when the old lady had gotten confused. :D

Stace said...

LOL too funny...at least he tried to convince her it WASN'T Home Depot...I read this to my husband and he smiled and said, "if it were me I would have just kept playing along and then told her when she got down there to just talk to Mike..or John..or whomever" ugh..see what I married? :-P

ReformingGeek said...

LOL!

My Hubby would have just tried to answer her question.

;-)

The Perks of Being Young and Married said...

haha I know how that is. We used to get calls for some pizza place and it was insane. we would play tricks on the poor people who called us lol good times though !.. oh and recently some guy called my cell phone and said : I just got called from this number for some prize i'm supposed to get.. can you call me back ".. which is funnier because he listened to my voicemail which said my name on there... O_O

Jaffer said...

Now, after all these years, your family as come to expect Mr. K's humour - why would you still need to apologize ?

Do you get calls from high-hats ?

Frankly, nothing to be embarrassed about - but then perhaps I am being a d*ck.

Too bad he messed up when a real customer called !

Kristine said...

That's so funny. Serves him right.

An ex of mine would answer his work phone "golden hands massage parlor" ... this was years ago, I don't know if he still does it.... I hope not, he's in upper management now.

:-)
Kris @JBK

Sharon Marie said...

That is so funny! When we lived in Texas, our phone number was only one digit different from the local movie theater. We'd get phone calls all the time asking "what's playing tonight?" Our answer of course was "we are!"

Reputation@Stake said...

Your husband could always try, "Lowe's Home Improvement Warehouse!" to really confuse people. But I'm guessing your family wouldn't like that any better.

Jon said...

Hey I found that really funny... If you have the guts to carry the prank of you can end up in really humurous circumstances...

First time here and I am loving your blogs

Kathy said...

Busted! Finally....

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

That's so funny. Too bad you didn't think of doing that before! I does serve him right.

Daisy said...

Hello? Um, do you sell weatherstripping supplies? I will be right over...

Tara R. said...

Now that is funny. I bet the other end of that conversation was a hoot.

Babs-beetle said...

Oh ha ha! That is so funny! I think, maybe he'll never answer the phone that way again :))

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Poindexter said...

reminds me of that memorable scene from Bridget Jones' Diary...

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Maybe he should have said, "Could you call back during regular business hours? My supervisor isn't available right now." :-)

All our calls are for Ebony Hutchinson. And whoever the heck she is, she has a ton of creditors calling her. So much so that at one time I recorded an answering machine pick up that said, "We don't know Ebony Hutchinson. But if you want to talk to nice people who pay their bills, please leave a message!"

suzicate said...

That's too funny. I continuously get calls for a "Bubbles Hair Salon", an eye doctor, and Super Walmart! Today I got a call from someone who wanted to know if I was the IRS, I should have said, "Yes, if you have money for me I am". Why must my number that I've had for over 25 years be only one idgit off from these others?!

DescribeHappy said...

Fantastic! I am sure you will be re-telling that story for ages!

lizzyland said...

My Dad used to answer the phone "Happy Dale Mortuary! You stab 'em, we slab 'em. Some go to heaven some go to hell-o" I thought it was hilarious. Especially when people would hang up then call back and tell us about some weird nut they had mistakenly called. But the best was when my Dad once pretended to be a piano phone sales man. My Dad was "closing" the deal when the person suddenly realized that he had called us, and not a telemarketer calling him. Good thing it was one of Dad's friends.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

That's great! Thanks for the story, it gave me a giggle!

JoJo said...

Oh WAY TO GO Mr. Maureen!!! lol
You should've said, 'in the words of Maude, god'll get you for that.' hahahaha

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Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I thought you were going to tell us (and I thought he was waiting for this day himself as well) that he went right on and had a conversation with someone, telling them to come to the store and ask for Fred and he would personally walk her to the spigot aisle and help her pick one out. But he sputtered. Oh well.

:)

The Green Stone Woman said...

Why are you still apologizing for your husband after all these years? Surely your family had gotten used to him by now? He should have carried the joke further and tell her to come on down and ask for Fred who would help her personally. Too bad he chickened out in the end.

Ca88andra said...

LOL! That post put a smile on my face. Thank you!

Vegas Princess said...

Ha ha! I have a similar story about myself when we received one too many calls from people thinking it was an apartment complex one number off of ours. They wouldn't believe me when I told them it was a private residence so I told them I actually was the apartment manager and went through a whole rigamorole about apartments and rooms and everything and had them ready to send me a deposit check before my hubby told me to stop. I wouldn't have REALLY taken the money...

Jeff said...

If he is anything like me, that episode would only ENCOURAGE me to answer the phone like that even more. Are you kidding? That's comedy gold!

My company (back when I was employed) was listed in the phone book right above another company with a similar name so we constantly received their phone calls. I was always tempted to just go along with it and take the customer's order, of course promising it would ship immediately - but I was always worried about getting in trouble. Now in retrospect I wish I had.

Boatwoman said...

OMG that is so funny. I sat giggling as I read that. Just maybe this time he will think before he says anything hahaha. But then again, he is a man. lol.

Bruce said...

Its a guy thing....we have little patience for people that can't figure out how to use the phone.

VE said...

Could be worse, he could answer with "Fantasy Stripper Pole Warehouse, can I help you?"

Maureen said...

Ha Richard! Your dad sounds familiar...

Heather: You're welcome! ;)

Jennifer: Ooooh.... eeeevil.

Stace: Ha! We joked that this is what we would do, but when you're actually on the phone with someone, it's hard to really DO it.

Ha Reforming Geek!

The Perks: Ha! Yes, I have to shake my head at how stupid, or lazy some people can be.

Jaffer: Well, like I said, we joked about how we'd love to string people on, but we really couldn't bring outselves to do it.

Ha Kristine! I hope not too!

Ahahaha Sharon! Best. Response. Ever.

Reputation @ Stake: It sure WOULD confuse them; we don't have Lowe's up here! Ha!

Aw, thank you Jon and welcome!

Kathy: Yep...

Yeah, Karen, I could have stopped this years ago.

Ha Daisy, now that would be one long shopping trip!

Yeah, Tara, I wish we had it on speakerphone...

Babs: I think he may never answer the phone again, period!

Poindexter: Now I have to go reread that book again... I don't recall that part!

Ha Jill! I remember that story!

I know Suzicate! I thought I was sooo smart to choose a very easy to remember number; now I am not so sure.

Describe Happy: Oh, that's only one of many, that's for sure!

Ahhhhhhh! Lizzyland! He didn't! OMG.

Yer welcome Perpetual Chocoholic!

Ha Jo-Jo! Yes, that would have been perfect, and we are so old that yes, we watched Maude too.

NGIP: Once you are on the phone, especially with a little old lady, it's pretty hard to keep up the joke.

Ah yes, Green Stone Woman, but you see hubby isn't THAT bad that he would tease a little old lady...

:) Ca88andra!

Ha VP! Good thing for hubbys...

Har Jeff! Oh yeah, I think we all imagine what we would do on our last day of work; very few of us actually DO it.

Yep, Boatwoman, he IS a man alright. Says everything right there.

Ha Bruce! See Boatwoman, we were right!

Oh GAD he'd better not VE! And I am NOT passing that little tidbit on to him!

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